Here's afew murphisms for y'all:

"And now for something completely different" Sarcastic way of telling someone they're being repetitive.

"Beating a dead horse" belaboring a point beyond reason

"he went end over appetitie" from my Great-grandfather, falling head over heels, literally, like down the stairs or the side of a mountain.

"Faster 'n grease thru a funnel" REALLY fast

"Slower 'n Molasses" REALLY slow

"Neater 'n a pin" dressed up, or really cute

"Smilin like a possum eatin shit" describing an untrustworthty person.

"Cant squeese blood from a stone" means I aint got no money

"He'd bitch if he got hung with a new rope" someone who always complains.

"Stubborn as a Missouri Mule" EXTREMELY stubborn.

"Dumber than a box of rocks" Really Dumb

"Deaf as a doorpost" can't hear or won't listen

"Shot out of there like a bolt of lightning" ran away scared

"Strutting like a thanksgiving turkey" overdressed

A good friend of mine once confused this with the bear one:

'Does the Pope shit in the woods?' - well i know it's irreverant, but it's still my favourite expression!

'Well, bugger me backwards with a fish fork' - expressing surprise.

'If i laughed once i laughed twice' - bitchy comment when someone makes an unfunny joke.

'I've got nipples like Chapel Hat-pegs' - strike me it's chilly in here today.

I've recently got back in touch with an ex whose whole vocabulary is made up of peculiar sayings so that when we speak no-one else knows what the fuck we're talking about. The sayings wouldn't mean anything to anyone else, but i nearly pee myself everytime he reminds me of one that i'd forgotten!

A.K.'s Sex-Pot---You think that's irreverent?You should see my;
super religous,Catholic mother;when I ask her:If the Pope is so
anxious;to meet God;why does he ride in a bullet-proof car?(Pope-mobile)She gets all flustered! Irish

.....As funny as a Fart in an elevator..........Not impressed

.....Laughing like a tin of worms coming home from fishing.. very happy

....Corners like a Cat on carpet......(pertaining to vehicles traction)

....Not this little black duck.....Not Bloody likely!

...Up shit creek in a barb wire canoe...in a lot of trouble

....What are you going to do when the monkey wants it's arse back...said to an unattractive person

....That's a club lock situation....someone need an up slap to the head

..dry as a dead dingo's donger....very thirsty

Walkin' with a weasel ... Finding out a "friend" really wasn't.

Smooth as an Illinois road ... Pretty rough.

Floats like a rock ... Didn't work.

These two are older than sex but I think they say it all...

"Look! When I want to hear from an asshole...I'll fart!!!!"

"You want to know something? I know that you will never suffer from hemmoroids...because your such a perfect asshole!"

How about...

Colder than a well diggers ass.....means pretty damn cold

Single women can't fart
They don't have an asshole
Until they get married

sorry just a little funny!!!

BIBI........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........LMAO.......he hehe

I may be fat but your ugly and at least I can lose weight

This is as thrilling as watching paint dry!

*bump*

Slicker 'n snot = very cool
You're shitting me = You're lying

Brat!


I was thinking of bumping this but my contributions are way too retarded.


beating a dead horse = continuing to do something past the point of usefullnesss

shit the bed = stopped working and can't be fixed (ie...I was crushing ice cubes in the blender and it shit the bed)

<----always said, "Slicker 'n snot on a glass doorknob."

But maybe it was a Kentucky thing. :D

Fine as frog hair split 7 ways! - excellent mood

Dumber than a box of rocks & uglier than the back side of a mule - means that person is really stupid & ugly.

Shit + 2 is 8.... that is how my mom would swear when we were little... she would throw in a math lesson every now and then by asking us what shit would be... lol

I went out to dinner with a couple from England and their teenaged son. As we are sitting outside drinking a few drinks their son kept saying how there was lots of nice "birds" here. So I start looking in the trees to figure out what type of bird he was seeing so I could tell him what they were called. So finally I asked "where are the birds". Then I was informed that he meant girls! LOL

My favorite...."Meanwhile, back at the ranch..."

didn't realize there was a thread for this. i asked about sayings in other parts of the world, but here in Texas we're
"fixin' to" when we're about to do something. "I'm fixin to go to the store"

we also have a saying about University of Oklahoma....now don't anyone get mad at me but it's been said that you can't spell Mother Fu@#$! without OU!

OK...this is getting easier (seeing skip's old threads). TY Aqua!!! *hug*

Colder than a brass commode on the shady side of an iceburg! ~ self explainitory

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining! ~ liar, liar...don't put out the fire on MY pants!

*touches monitor screen...miss you skip!...blows a kiss*

I don't think I will ever get used to this... my heart lands in my throat everytime... *sigh*

(((Lixy))) and ((((((Jenna))))))

I almost didn't bump it, but I know skip would be scowling at me if I didn't... I want to let go of the pain, but not if it means letting go of him.

More...

Binky = Girl that has not reached the age of consent

Gristle = A really hot woman

What's that got to do with the price of beans in Alaska? = That has no relevance to the current topic.

((((Aqua)))) I know I am not alone in this... and that brings me comfort... and you are right... he wouldn't want us to pass up the opportunites...

happier than a pig rolling in shit = very happy

LMFAO. One of my family's favorite euphemisms.

these are a riot!
if it was a snake it woulda bit ya = you've been looking for it and it's been right in front of you the whole time
dumber than a bag of hammers= pretty frikkin stupid
don't bullshit a bullshitter=self explanitory
fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down=again, pretty frikkin stupid
couldn't find his ass with both hands/ couldn't pour water out of a shoe with the directions printed on the sole=oblivious
crazier than a shit-house rat = i dunno really, it just sounds good
runnin around like a chicken with it's head cut of= racing around but getting nothing done
you can't get a leopard to change it's spots=it is what it is and it's futile to try and change it