nevermind the watermellon, try strawberries and cream, slowly applied over the required spot and gently massages into the skin. Then ask your partner to hepl clean it of. :)

ok, a male mate once told me about what he called a "posh wank"

basically, you wet two sponges and place them on a toilet seat, one on top of the other, then thrust your dick into them. it is meant to feel like a good screw, and all the evidence is flushed away into the toilet :D

There is a saying - attributed to various Middle Eastern countries (no doubt unjustly)- which goes something like "A woman for duty, a boy for pleasure, a melon for ecstasy." Sorry I can't vouch for this as I seem to have got hung up on the first step.

My wife bought me a Pirates Cove from Tasteful Treasures. It has ribs and it is real tight.

It works great when she is not home.