Except that it should be obvious that biblical standards for sex aren't acceptable to people.

Simple, telling fact: Virginity pledgers have just as high a rate of STD's and unwanted pregnancies as those who don't take such a pledge.



What disease is this???? I sure never have heard of anything like this, but I have heard of a million fabrications by the anti-sex crowd.



<Looks, doesn't see.>

There's *ONE* disease that's gotten worse--HIV. That's because it only made the jump from monkeys recently. (Perhaps it made it before but the area consisted of small tribes and didn't have enough population to maintain an infection and so it would have died out.)



The biblical repression of sex is far more likely to hurt someone. Note all the pedophile priests.



Cheating is never a *GOOD* thing. That doesn't always mean it's worse than ending a relationship, though.

i have been married 33 years the last 12 my wife had been living with a illness that has take away our sex life the last time i had interrcourse was with and internet friend (female) of course about 2 years ago and the wife knew of it so i don't feel that it was cheating.

Good for you and your wife for making good choices. I agree that being honest with your wife and her giving her consent for you to have sex with someone else cannot be considered 'cheating'.

It proves that there is a real, workable alternative to deception when there are extenuating circumstances preventing one partner from having sex.

When I posted originally I said "cheating" in inverted commas because what I was referring to was sex outside the relationship, and did not involve the deception and lies of cheating.

I don't think lying to or deceiving your partner in order to have sex is acceptable under any circumstances. Like Sweet'n'Sassy said, it doesn't even have to involve sex to be regarded cheating.

Except that what "we all know what the Bible says" is not really what the book says...what people think they know is actually what a bunch of priests & rabbis have told them what it says, & very few can be bothered to go back & check the reference. For example, how is it that monogamy is all that God condones, yet most of the heroic figures of the Old Testament (all men of God, it says here) had many wives & concubines? I could go on for quite a while picking this post apart, but I see that Loren has done a pretty good number on it already, & I'm not one to flog a dead horse...but I did want to make at least this one point...

Reaperwoman - don't worry, your comment was perfectly clear...to me, at least. What you said is exactly how I'd play it too, if I were ever in that situation.

Scotz - You're right of course - the most famous example is probably that of Jacob and his many sons, of whom Joseph (and possibly Benjamin, but I'm not sure on that point - can't remember exactly) was his favourite as he was born of his second and favourite wife. They were sisters and he was tricked into marrying the first one by his father-in-law.

That marriage doesn't count cuz he was tricked. :p

"We all know what the bible(God) says about premarital sex and adultry "

Damn you Scotzoidman to the lowest reaches of Lilith's wine cupboard for taking my point.

The bible talks about adultery, but if neither person is married, it's not adultery.

Didn't Solomon have 1000 wives?

Noone has mentioned my favorite. Lot was the only righteous man in Sodom, but he committed incest with his daughters.

Didn't Lot's daughters get him drunk & take advantage of him?

sure, blame the women, but it was that stupid serpent. he had to go and be all ... eat the fruit. it's fiiiiiine.

Don't look at me...I didn't write Genesis! :p

duh-uh. the holy spirit did. and it's all true. every word. even the contradictory ones. which makes sense when you think about it. holy/holey. it's all very logical.

Yup. Incest and rape are good things according to the good book.

Should we really be surprised at all the priestly misconduct??

Well, they did it because they had just witnessed what they thought was the beginning of the end of the world and they were trying to continue the family name.

Only the merest beginning of payback for the number of times you've beaten me to the punch by condensing what I wanted to say into a few well-chosen & insightful words. :banghead:


It just occurred to me, you don't suppose there's a cask of Amontillado down in that cupboard?

By that stardard, my marriage shouldn't count either...


...I was assured there'd be a lot more sex on the other side of "I do"...

LMAO @ Scotz. That's a common scam - I fell for it too!

Ah yes, a common ploy.


I believe it's called "Switch & 'bate" :p

:rofl:

I'll take Poe references at sex sites for $1000, Alex. :p

Wouldn't that be "Switch & Masturbate" WI?

mastur = ' :p

Is that what ' is I've seen it all around and wondered so how dose it work can"mastur"t, don"mastur"t, won"mastur"t, and I"mastur"ve or at the end of words like doin"mastur", thinkin"mastur" talkin"mastur" and livin"mastur".

My English teacher would be so proud if she could see me now. :D

a lot of things were done in the old testament that Jesus condemned in the new.
you can pick out many things in the old testament and justify it today, they were not against the law then until Jesus did away with it in the new.
Listen I dont want to get into a Bible argument with anyone okay, God has clearly given us all FREE WILL; but , their is a consequence of it. Good or bad, right or wrong it is OUR choice.
Oral sex is still sex and it can kill you obviously.
Syphilis in lungs is the STD.
Screw some acts of preachers, priest and holy men in all religions and faiths just cause they may do it does not make them RIGHT, it makes them HUMAN.

Is monogomy the BEST choice,
or is anything you want the BEST choice?

Choose just my opinion, I'm done.

These are discussion boards, marval. That implies discussion of your posts.

Syphilis can be treated - with frequent STD testing there is no reason why it . Why aren't you worrying about HIV? It is transmissible by oral sex, and there is no cure.



Without premarital sex and adultery, STDs would still exist : most of these are not transmissible only by sexual contact.

And what good can repressing sexual orientation do?

Kinsey found that there were an awful lot of 'God's will' abiding married Catholics who had enormous problems with sex, since the sense that "sex is bad" was drummed into them so strongly they were unable to perform normally sexually.

A woman who knows NOTHING of sex or her own sexuality until her wedding night is unlikely to find it an enjoyable experience and her equally ignorant husband will find it difficult to give her an experience that will change her perseption. She'll end up 'tolerating' sex for the sake of fulfilling her 'wifely' duties and we end up in a situation where sex within the marriage bed is tantamount to rape - who knows, sexual frustration for the husband due to lack of proper emotional fulfillment from sex with an unresponsive partner could even lead to sexual abuse within a family or homosexual tendancies as a way of finding physical relief.

At the end of the day, we cannot 'switch-off' our sexuality just as we can't 'switch off' our need to eat. What we can do, is recognise that and be more open to discussion of our physical needs within our relationships, so that we do not have to lie and cheat on a partner who trusts us.

Funny, that argument has a very familiar ring to it...oh, yeh, I remember now, it was the same line my mama pulled out every time I pointed out the glaring contradictions in the Bible...so, if the old law is out, & we only go with what Jesus said as true, why do we still keep the Old Testament around?.
You brought it up, cuzzin....

I never meant to say that they were right...my point is that the Bible is a flawed document, (did he really say that!?! :eek: ) written by flawed humans, edited by same, & has been used & abused by the worst scoundrels to justify the worst impulses of human nature...to the point that your statement, "we all know what God says" cannot be true, because so many that THINK they know what it says are just vomiting up the corrupted interpretations of some demogogue...

Scotz

"It just occurred to me, you don't suppose there's a cask of Amontillado down in that cupboard?"

There was untill one dinner just before PAGAN06, when some bastard Aussies ran out of plonk.

The Bible is a translated collection of translations of translations of documents of Jewish religious, social and cultural lore and history. Whether it is the written essence of the Spirit or a more mundane but still relevant (for some) document is a matter of faith and as such is open to discussion, not debate.

That depends on what you mean by the word "is". :p

Enough to have used it 4 times.

It was Noah's daughter's; not Lot's.

By the way, the whole Lot/incest thing. He didn't commit incest. He offered his daughters to the townsmen because they wanted to have their way with a male visitor of Lot's who just happened to be an angel. I know, call me a Bible scholar.

Just because Lot made a very, very bad mistake, that still doesn't mean he wasn't righteous. Thankfully, I'm not profoundly classified as good or bad based on one or more of the epic mistakes I've made in my life.

By the way again, cheating on my wife, thankfully, is not one of those epic mistakes. But goodness knows the temptation has been there.

Gen. 19:31-38 :confused:

You're right, WildIrish! Sorry for getting my stories confused...


Wish there was a "foot-in-mouth" icon.

There are some great answers in this forum! If the sex completely stopped happening, I'd have to question "why?". I'd re-evaluate the relationship and then make a determination...fight to save it, or end it!!! Cheating IS NOT an option in my book!!!

Truth : Untruth
I see a difference one to the other. Cheating is relative to Untruth as Faithful is relative to Truth.
I cheated. My dishonesty exposed my betrayal of our vows of faithfullness wrecking my marriage. Later, when all truth had finally been revealed and my treachery was fully known, I was no longer compelled to cheat. By then I could express my desire to have an affair with a man I knew.
My wife chafed, chagrined spoke out loud, "Do what you want to do." My man friend his wife and I, made love and enjoy each other's sexual energies.
My wife and I made love again and again throughout the times of my open extramarital bisexual affairs. But, my failure to control and seek sensual/sexual balance in my ravenous sexual appetite is the cause of my bringing destruction to my marriage. Had I known or been willing to get polyamory advice about honesty and openness, I might still be married and my sensuality/sexuality with other persons and couples outside my marriage would continue openly with full approval of my wife.
She loved me. But, I had already broken the faith, betrayed her trust in me. She stoodfast. Betrayed, she wanted me to choose. Her, or more sex. We eventually divorced.

My marriage had deteriorated to the point of zero sex, zero intimacy, not even "hallway sex" (you know, passing each other in the hallway and saying 'fuck you'). After being married more than 20 years, after almost 5 years with no sex or intimacy, I began to cheat. Several years and several affairs later, I finally left the marriage. Why did I take so long? A combination of things, but mostly I don't think former-hubby cared about what I was doing, it was easier to stay than to leave, and I hadn't yet met anyone who inspired me to want to deal with divorce and the resulting fallout.

I'm not proud of myself for having done the things I did, but I do have a very different perspective as a result. I now have zero tolerance for cheating (within my own relationship), and, having formerly been a world-class liar, I won't buy any excuses or bullshit stories, as I've probably used them myself. Burn me once and we're done. Period.

Maybe I'm a hardass about it because I've been there and did it sooo well. Nope, I'm not proud of the things I used to do, but I have come clean with family and God and I'm not going to that place ever again. If my relationship ends up sexless as well as intimacy-less, and I can't live with it, I'll end the relationship before starting something new. I would owe that to him as well as to myself.

I have cheated in the past. And, honestly, it was because the person I love the most (who I am with now) and I split up because of family differences and I started dating another guy. The guy I'm with now came back around and we started talking on the phone and the next thing I know...the boyfriend takes a trip and I went out with my "ex" and could not keep my hands off him. I was so happy to see him.

It's not something I am proud of. But as someone else before me said, cheating is a statement that comes directly from the heart, not the body. I didn't cheat because I was horny, I cheated because I didn't love the guy I was dating, at least not as much as I am with the "ex" whose child I am currently carrying (not from that incident of course, as that was long ago lol).

They say once a cheater, always a cheater but that is not true. Would I ever cheat on my guy now? Hell no, I would not.