OK, I have a reply, but it's a lenghtly one. If you don't like long messages, or aren't into a relatively scholarly examination of hte issue, don't read it.

It never fails to impress me how a site such as this attracts such a diverse range of people, many of whom are so articulate and thoughtful, and ALL of whom have something valuable to contribute. It makes me feel better about the world!

Thanks for that gekkogecko. I think you pretty much summed up the 'how we ever got into this mess' question, so what's your take on how we get out of it?

How do we undo thousands of years of somewhat misguided religious doctrine? Or perhaps you don't feel it is misguided . . . the reasoning behind the explanation still stands up today, don't you think?

For my part, i feel that this logic is somewhat obsolete in modern society and i feel that the only way we'll break it is by teaching our children differently.

On a lighter note. . . . i'm one of the 'fuck me harder' porn star types, so we do exist!! I think that porn flicks have (rightly or wrongly) integrated terms such as 'slut' and 'bitch' into the vocabulary of sex, in such a way that men use it without thinking of what the words might mean - they just associate it with wild 'porn star' type sex and that's great for them. I'd be really worried if a sexual partner really did mean what he said when he used those kind of names. . . hell i'd be more than upset, i'd be out of there!

ah.. I just love intelligence :) If I had to pick between brains and equipment... I know I would choose brains :) Thanks gekkogecko for expressing yours here...

I agree with A.K.'s Sex-Pot... the only thing that is going to bring about change.. whether it be positive or negative is us and what we choose to teach our children.

As an adult, I have long ago stopped thinking of "slut" as a negative term. Yes, it is true that I still don't like the idea of just any Tom, Dick, or Harry referring to me as one..

To use "slut" in the modern sense ... "you have to be a lady in public and a slut in the bedroom!"... ;)

You're right, Juicyjackie (what a lovely handle!) but I just can't get my mind around the word. Not that I want to be politically correct and ban it or anything. I don't like using the word 'whore' in a pejorative way either; a whore is just some-one who trades sex for money and what's wrong with that for a profession? Not far different from, say, a hairdresser. You get good ones & bad ones; people who enjoy their work and give a good time, and others who just grab the money and run. Where potential clients get off being so rude about them?

I really liked the full and detailed explaination that gekkogecko gave us. I knew a few things but his explanation sure filled in the blanks.
Now my next line is only a joke to lighten it up a bit so take it easy on me, Please.

The differance between a slut and bitch is that a slut will fuck anybody, but a bitch will fuck anyone but you!

I think you've arlready come up with a really good answer, if not THE answer (is there such a thng as THE answer?). I certainly have tried to teach my daughter that in all aspects of life, including whatever sexual activities she may choose to indulge in later on, the guiding principle should be respect for her fellow human beings.

Carl also said, tongue-in-cheek:
The differance between a slut and bitch is that a slut will fuck anybody, but a bitch will fuck anyone but you!

Yes! Yes! Yes! If I had a nickle for every time I've heard this applied exactly in that manner...

Just out of interest, guys, how many of you have been called a 'Bastard' (or something similar) during sex?

Would it bother you, and if so why, or would you just associate it with a wild woman who lost all control?

I'm just wondering how many women would call their guys names which are equally unpleasant. . . . and how you guys would feel about it. I have to say that if a guy was going to call me 'slut' on a regualr basis, i'd perhaps be happier if i could call him some nasty names too. Might help me feel that it wasn't anything personal, just a different dynamic to our dirty talk. . . .

I'd like to add at this point that while i have slept with a couple, i've never actually called a guy a bastard in bed!!!!!

A.K.s Sex-Pot---I think that;once again;it depends;on someones
personal interpretation;of the word.I;myself;wouldn't be bothered that much;by someone calling me a"Bastard."On the other hand;the word"Slut"is;to me;a derogatory term! Irish
P.S.When you've been a"biker"for as long as I have-there isn't
much that you;HAVEN'T been called.Just consider the source!

we use the word bastard as a term of endearment!

just depends on how you say it.....eg he's a good ol' bastard

Never. OTOH, my motehr occasionally calls me a "son-of-a-bitch". I don't argue, I figure she should know better than I.

I was meaning more a long the lines of:

'Fuck me, you bastard! Fuck me hard!'

when you're really in the heat of it, rather than in ordinary conversation or in jest.

I don't think it's that common, and i think that the responses from this probably back that up. . . . just thought we should open up the debate a little. . . .

It's not something I've ever heard, but I live in a sexually-inhibited area. At the risk of making myself seem ridiculous, I will tell you that the first couple of times women cried out during sex (one kept saying my name, another repeated "please"), I tried to find out what they wanted, assuming they meant to communicate. No, I wasn't young and naive. I'd just been with an unresponsive partner for years, and she was my first.

In any case, knowing what I know now, I'd love it as I do every sound a woman makes in that situation. Besides, I am an arrogant bastard, so I couldn't complain.

I personally don't mind it if we are in the throws of passion and he's banging me hard. He'll say "you're my little slut (or whore), aren't you baby." and slap my ass. makes me hot as hell and makes me want even more if that is possible. but in other circumstances, i would take offense.

I don't think "bastard" has the same sexual connotations that "slut" does. If anyone called me a bastard in bed I think I'd just have to laugh.

And in my experience, girls tend to use the term slut much moreso than men. Girls think of it as an insult. Guys use it to know which girls at the party they should talk to. :)