I really don't know. I left a lot of details out that would make it specific. It was a tough call, but I didn't know where else to turn.

Ok, I need some aspirin & a scorecard now ;)

Thanks to all for your advice and thoughts. I still feel eaten up by this but I can also see the futility of the situation. It was her decision to let him in, and even if she agreed that a boundary was crossed there's no way of undoing it thus far. So I'll let sleeping dogs lay and simply ask not to be informed of anything else about him. It's not an ideal solution but it will allow her to have her fun, and I won't have to feel tormented.

Thanks again.

~Tim

Hey guess what?..... Pegasusx62's hubby has seen pics of me. I invited them both to pixies. I even spent the nite with them last nite on my way home from Darogles house and he's not going all freaky on me.

TRUST baby, TRUST. :)

"Wow...this sure sounds like my fiance, but it says right here "this is not me"."

:D


Regardless of the intent, subliminal or not, your post asks if it's ok to express your concerns about her inviting a friend to Pixies where he can see her pictures. It's ok with some of us. It's not ok with others. What really matters is what she thinks. If you two are getting married, you should be able to discuss things like this with each other. Discuss your concerns, your fears of what might happen. If it turns you on...discuss that too. Communicate with her.

^^^ wise guy! and i sincerely mean that. While for one person or couple it might be okay to share your photos openly with others, for another person/couple it may not be. That's the beauty of communication and understanding your partner :)

I think that you know what there is to lose so that is why you are asking advice. It is good to have the ideas of others to make sure you have some sort of balance with what is in your mind.

For mine, I would talk to her about it but in a non confronting way. Communication and trust are vital ingredients in any relationship so you need to get these issues sorted and settle down. Best of luck

More to this, after further analyzing myself, is the thing that bothers me about it is that she has always been quick to express how they're just friends and she likes him because he's fun to talk to. That's fine. He's made no secret about how much he likes her and I'm sure she crushes on him, so it just strikes me as odd that friends don't normally start swapping naked pictures of themselves when their relationship is based on "being fun to talk to." At least no friendships I've ever known or been involved in. I really think she is either sending out the wrong signals to him, or not being honest with me about their relationship. It's that simple in the end I guess.

I've seen some of my best friends naked...but then again, I saw them naked before we became friends.

This friend of hers is obviously located near to where you guys are. I'd be uncomfortable with her decision to invite him to see her pictures. Upon discovery, I would've expressed my discomfort to her and mention that I would've appreciated the opportunity to discuss it with her first. As to mixed signals or misleading statements...can't help you there. You either trust her or you don't. That's your call.

You mentioned that you plan to ask her not to talk about him around you. That would be a *big* signal to me (if I were her) that you had a problem. If I were your girlfriend, I would rather you do me the courtesy of talking to me about it openly. Passive-aggressive attitudes (and that's how I'd perceive it) tend to turn me off considerably.

IMHO, telling her openly says "strong, confident man" to me...which is good. Stewing about it and saying snipey things about the guy says "insecure and jealous." Which one would you rather be?

What's the worst that could happen? Your fears be confirmed? Wouldn't you rather know sooner than later if it is true -- that she likes him? I know I would.

I would not be comfortable with her inviting a 'friend' to view her pics if she did so without sharing this with you. But ignoring it will not make it better. You need to discuss this with her and state your feelings. How much would you be willing to 'look the other way' on to keep her? Would you turn a blind eye to her sleeping with him? If she has designs on another guy, you can't make her stay with you. Talk to her.

Exactly! You should have been doing that already! She IS trying to communicate with you.

What Osuche and Lilith said....

Hey, is this my husband writing these???? :devil:

Like all the others have said, communication is the best medicine.

Dude where's my car?
 

Fist up, if it were my g/f and she were doing this sort of swapping pics with "friends" I would be raising eyebrows and asking a lot of questions. If need be, I'd ask the tough ones like "are you sleeping with him, has he hit on you?" etc. Also if it continues and she is seeing more of him instead of you, then I would be more inclined to either tell him to stop sniffing around or knock him out.

Now I know it goes into the cliche of the jealous b/f area, but there is a line that can never be crossed in particular by her. If she crosses that line then sayonara to her. If she doesn't, but plays a very dangerous game then you have to start thinking is the r/ship worth it?

So you are between a rock and a hard place. Well I know what I would do. If I was you and she first came to me and said "is it cool if I show some guy some pics of me naked?" I would give a very stern "NO". It's just not on. I don't know maybe it's just me, but that is how I would handle it. Then if he came over I would give him the boot up the backside and tell him never to come over again. Simple as that.