LarryL,

I restate what the others have said better than I can. Please keep trying. Reach out to us – we will be here for you.

(((((((((((Larry)))))))))))) There is nothing I can add to what the others have said. You can see that many people know the dark pain your in and have come out of it or are working on it everyday. You can also see how much your loved and wanted. Don't ever give up Hun. Fight with everything you have and lean on others that want to be here for you.

Your in my thoughts, my heart and my prayers. Please stay safe Larry. :x:

LarryL......... First of all I'm giving you a BIG WARM HUG.:)
2nd of all.... Think of your kids and your family. They love YOU and they NEED you. You are going to hurt them for the rest of their lives if you do this.
How do I know? Because I tried it too honey. You WILL change their life.
My Grandmother and my Great Aunt both have comtted suicide and it tore our families apart in so many ways. My father became an alcoholic because of it. I have lost him now too. :( I too led a very abused childhood. My father was a very tough and hard farmer. His mothers suicide made him even meaner. He took everything out on us kids. You said it in the end of your letter....LOVE STARVED. That and the possibilty that you are going thru the change of life (yes men do too) will drive you crazy. Please go get your hormones checked by a doctor. Going thru menopause will drive you crazy and damn sure cause this roller coaster ride that you are on. Yeah they thought mine was depression too. some of it was and I was told I deserved my nervous breakdown that for all that I had been thru. But now that you know........ Do SOMETHING about it! You come here and talk when you get lonely. Go see a friend, a doctor, your pastor. Just don't sit there and be alone! You have to socialize honey or it will get worse. You have been blessed with feelings that alot of people don't have that I can see in your posts. Tenderness and caring. Use them honey for the good that they are. Share it with some one who needs it. We all need it. That's why we are here in pixies! We need acceptance.( Btw.. I'll take some of that!) :) I love you even tho I've never met you. But I do honey. I'm here for you. You be here for me too OK?
Love,
Brenda

I have a friend that is dealing with the same things as you are right now. You should get yourself into a abuse help group of some sort as soon as you can.

LarryL You need to come back and talk to us. Don't stop now!!!
We care about you.:)

((((((((((((((((((((((Larry))))))))))))))))))))))) )))))

There are people here that love you and, I would bet, are loved by you. As was already stated, there are good things awaiting you in the days, months, years to come. But you will not realize them if you are dead. What kind of good things could there be, you may wonder? It could be a lot of different things, but there are mornings when a beautiful sunrise over Mt. Rainier makes me glad to be alive. Having Lil call me Mr. Sugar Pants makes me glad I'm alive. Seeing people here bare their souls to help another Pixie makes me glad I'm alive. Everytime my daughter says 'I love you Dad', you better believe I'm glad to be alive. Stick around and talk to us Larry... it won't be easy, but if you hold on you'll see that it's worth it to be alive.

When you're alive you can wake up to things like this...

You've got some big steps ahead of you but the sun will shine, too.

LarryL,

I've just read each of the posts above. I was touched by the warmth and sincerity of each one. Passionate pleas for you to reconsider your decision, weren't they? If you can't answer that, go back and read again...I'll wait. Now then, if you have those people wanting you so badly to live, don't you think that you've found one reason, just one reason, to go on with life??? One reason is enough. One reason is hope. A chance. It's something to hang on to. One reason to live. Those words did not magically appear, nor were they some technical trick. They came from real live people. People that genuinely care about you. They took the time to put pen to paper (so to speak) for you. If people that you've never met face to face feel that passionately about you, think about the people that you touch day to day. Think of the people that depend on you. That care for you and about you. That love you.

Now I'd like to add my name to that list. I do care for and about you. I won't condesend to say that I love you, I don't know you that well. But I do know you enough to call you a freind. You have a warmth that you express and exude with a grace and ease. I honestly look forward to each and every sentiment you express on here.

In other words...

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! LIVE!!!!!!!!!

LarryL---I was going to post some morale building saying,but I'm not qualified
to do that.Just know that my prayers are with you! Irish

Sooooooo, just this past Saturday I had a party and I thought the world would end if it rained. Gotta tell ya, it was gloomy at times, and it drizzled enough to soak us a bit. But, it was the warmth of the people and the warmth of the sun (when it peeked through the clouds periodically) that kept us going. We didn't give up or retreat for cover. We sat in the rain and relished the mere fact that we were sure they are worse things that could have happened. The things going on in this world today, and I'm not just talking about the war (though that IS pretty shitty), but about the diseases and strife and hunger and homelessness and...oh geezzzzz, I could go on and on but you get the point, eh? Anyway, yes it sucked that it rained on my party, but I looked around and saw the beauty in it. I saw the flowers reaching up for a drink. I saw the pictures that the clouds make as they pass over. I felt the coolness of the droplets. I saw my niece turn her head to the sky and stick out her tongue for a drink of rain. I remembered doing that when I was young and I smiled with the memory. Butterflies were flitting from flower to flower. Birds were trying to swoop down to get some seed while the coast was clear of guests under the grape vine trellis. Ut oh, my sister drank too much and tripped as she was coming up on the patio (I knew someone would do it...and at least she won't sue me...lol!...I think??!!) and skinned her shin and elbow. Oh look...our good friend Mark is helping her up (and trying to look down her blouse...*giggle*) and taking her in the house to put some peroxide on her boo-boos. Hey! She'll be 42 on Friday...but she's still a younger sis and to me she get's boo-boos! Friends of ours are in awe, and gathering around our Aunt Sally. The memories of our childhood that she evokes is timeless. Oh, Aunt Sally...I really shouldn't try and take apart your western outfit and duplicate it in pink leather. Yes, it'd be sad to make it from mink (someone had offered to make her a mink something or other once)...poor little animals...but cows are animals too ya know! LOL! You shoulda seen the look on her face at that revelation. She's been a cowgirl all her life and I don't think that fact ever dawned on her. I should mingle some more, I kept thinking. Awwwwww, Cheryl and Mike brought their son Matthew. He's such a doll and looks like his mom. Shhhhhh...don't tell Mike that! LOL! Oh shit...I lost another beer cup. I think that's the 12th one since this party started and it's only been going for 3 hours so far. Hmmmmm...maybe I should tie a cup around my neck so I won't lose it again. Yikes! *listens to the small flock of geese flying overhead* It's that time of year again. Soon the flocks will get bigger and bigger and the "honks" as they fly over will be a sure tell tale sign that autumn, and then winter, is upon us. *looks around* Hmmmm...no one but me seems to even notice them yet. Ok...I won't spoil the mood. I've gotta be honest though, I'm looking forward to autumn this year. I miss the smell of burning leaves and I miss being a skinch chilly so that I have to get out a sweater or sweatshirt in the brisk evening air. Naaaaaa...we didn't put any AC's in this year. It's not so bad in this old house though. Wouldn't be bad at all cept for the few days of 100% humidity. My hair hates humidity! I look like a french poodle. Oh damn...I've digressed again. Oh well...there is plenty more to the story of my party if you'd like me to go on. Hey! I hear those moans from the peanut gallery...so I'll just leave it in the air for now. Hurry back and talk to us Larry. We've a lot to say to you and we sure would love to know that you didn't just start this thread and have no intention of seeing it through to the happy ending we are all hoping for!!!!

(((((((((LarryL)))))))))

*thinking of you all day and night and watching for a reply fore as often as I can get back here*

Stated so simply but just what I'm feeling as well.

You can not give in to this dark feeling. Fight it with everything you've got. Do not let it win! There are people who love you and need you! You are a very special person. How do I know this..... First, from reading your posts here at Pixies and secondly, because God don't make no junk! Each of us is special. Some one, some where, loves you and needs you. Don't leave them!

((((((Larry))))))

Stay with us Larry. We all care very much about our Pixie family and value you being here. So many above said what I feel also. Hang on ... and in the meantime ...

take a ((((( HUG )))) from me, too.

(((((((((LarryL)))))))))

Larry - glad you posted, glad you have made it through these weeks, glad you are my friend!!!! Stay with us buddy ..... you are loved and needed!

Let me know if there's anything I can do to help or if you just need to vent! :wave:

Wow, D...I loved that.....and Larry, it's soooo true.

I love ya! :love:

LarryL...

whether you realize it or not... you have become part of this family... and I can honestly say that this place can't handle another loss... and personally.. I know that I can't...

Please come back.. talk.. post... PM me.. anything... just stay here... and allow us to help... because we can...

((((Hugs))))