Wow. That's unreal.


On a lighter note, I had a customer last night tell me the '9' key on his phone didn't work and he wondered if I could help him.

Let's see, that would have been when I was working with a wildlife educational program. We had a booth at a public fair or some such, and in the booth we had several previously-injured, but unreleasable, birds of prey on display.

One of the patrons at the fair walked up to the booth, stared very intently at the screech owl. Then she turned to us and asked "Does that owl have, like, *feathers*?"

I had to run behind the scenes to avoid laughing in her face.

You have fallen on the ice.. and in obvious pain.....you can't move, much less get up from the ice cold ground.


"Are you hurt?" "What happened?" "Do you need help?"

Duh!!!

" Honey I'll pull it out, no way you can get pregnant!"

Were you told this by someone...and is there something I need to know about you? :p

A battered woman saying, "But I love him...."

After a few pints - " I'm ok to drive" pleased to say he had his keys taken from him.

No Osuche Hon, this little gem came from friends years back when I was in high school. Some of the guys believed in the Delta system of birth control. Ya know Delta always pulls out on time. When I heard that line I always thought, Yeah right.

a friend of mine once said in dead earnest in the heat of a South Carolina summer..."gezzz it's too hot to drink beer" she has never lived that comment down.

Heared on a cruseliner by a friend of mine
" So what time is the captins midnight cocktail party"

"How do I get to yahoo?"

-My Mom

"Most girls can tell he size a guy's penis, but genrally they are wrong"

-Me

"It's OK, Cunning Linguist, I am sure you will find a nice job and have a wonderful girl who loves you in every way and is wild in the sack."

-Everybody

1. You'd be awfully cute if you'd lose some weight.

2. You've got a great personality..........for a fat girl.

3. You're so cute when you're mad.













GGGGgggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

"Hi Steph.:D I'm glad to meet you".:)





... and I said it.:(

"Hi PF. Nice to meet you, too."


Regrets, I've had a few.

A High school friend asked me once "Why do you girls need toilet paper?" I was speechless ....

This is also the same guy that another friend and I convinced that the brass balls saloon was like hooters .... except w/all the waiters' balls hanging out of their pants and painted brass colored.