...and he ran screaming out the door. :p

Too many weeks of travel...

Too many weeks of travel...left the condom wrapper soiled and crumpled.

Moonlight and roses ...

Moonlight and roses ... are aphrodesiacs for some women (but not me...hate roses)

A hug from a friend...

A hug from a friend ... can do wonders if you're feeling blue.

An erection a day ...

An erection a day ... keeps the Viagra away.

A naughty picture a day...

A naughty picture a day keeps my penis from turning gray.

My car is so old...

that if anyone steals it, they deserve what they get.







I've got underwear older than........

SS..... (you probably) I've got underwear older than........ me !

:p

Lighter fluid is very useful when...

Lighter fluid is very useful when.........................you run out of charcoal lighter fluid :D ( Yes, I KNOW they aren't interchangable......I'm only finishing a sentence, not recommending it! :D:D:D )




I'm really not as foolish as.............

I'm really not as foolish as ... I probably seem.

On the other hand, I may be as ...

On the other hand, I may be as ... foolish as I look.


I'm easy to please when....

I'm easy to please when.... you do things the way I tell you to.


After carrying her through the door ...

After carrying her through the door he ravaged her on the entry carpet.

I look especially bright when...

I look especially bright when... you compare me to a group of imbeciles.


I look especially beautiful when...

I get to see your face.

I look extremely sexy when.....