Truth In Advertising...rofl

[TinTennessee]

I may be slow but damn if I haven't finally figured it out! The reason men put in their profiles that they enjoy...long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners and good movies is ..........

If they put what they really enjoyed....Beer, scratching their ass and watching football, they would never find a woman!

Then again, if I see a man's profile that says he enjoys the walks on the beach at sunset, etc...I'm usually thinking..what stupid bitch is gonna actually believe that?

Just felt like sharing... :wine:

[Steph]

Please don't get me started! :)

~I might be what you're looking for.
~Show me a pic, it's only fair.
~Let's take a bike ride on the boardwalk.

So many cliches & catchphrases!

[Lilith]

I'd prefer to drink beer and scratch his ass while he tries to concentrate on football;)

[Daft]

What about those of us who don't like beer, football, and our own ass? I like cars, nature, and poon tang :p.

[kathy1]

:cheers: .....yep, know exactly what ya mean....i think i've finally deciphered all that BS tho....it's a type of shorthand....here's my interpretations:

loves long walks on the beach really means>>>> walk this way, i've already scouted out a secluded spot, we can have sex

loves candlelight dinners and wine, really means>>>> i'm schmoozing and i'm gonna get you drunk, we can have sex

loves to cuddle and just watch tv, really means>>>>> we can have sex


anybody else got any other good ideas for all that dribble they spout?

[Lilith]

Give them sex first...it fucks up their plan

[BIBI]

Give them sex first...it fucks up their plan

Did that once and it fucked up my plans for 7 years! :rolleyes:

[Lilith]

oh! Maybe not then :p

[BIBI]

I love reading profiles....some of the best humor!

Like...some I have met!

Lonely widower seeking special someone- He forgot he had a someone at home.
Seeking a lady who is employed- ditto...was on welfare
Not seeking serious comittment- married or just wants some action
Wants to be friends first- yes and last with fucking in between
Loves family- yes especially putting the eyes on my 29 year old daughter
Ready to move on with his life- and move into my house
I travel alot for work- he was going to be in my area and wanted to "make an appointment".

I am in no way bashing men. :love: I love men.....just a few examples of the types I have run into in the past! I have heard many bad things about females too.

[Murphy]

But having read this far, I may as well comment.

For the Record, I really DO loves long walks on secludud beaches - gets us away from all the idiots out there.

I also enjoy a romantic candelight dinner for 2 - at a restaraunt - so I don't have to help wash the dishes.

And I REALLY enjoy cuddling and watching TV - now shut up and give me back my remote!

LOL, seriously tho, there are afew of us guys that DO like the musshy stuff!

:grope:

[Sugarsprinkles]

But having read this far, I may as well comment.
And I REALLY enjoy cuddling and watching TV - now shut up and give me back my remote!

:grope:

Right, cuddling and watching TV......usually in that order. :spank:

[TinTennessee]

Ladies, I'm glad to see that you know exactly what I'm talking about here!!

Gentlemen, we know you are sexy teddy bears at heart, but given you a hard time in this thread, well it's just so easy! lmao

[Murphy]

Gotta keep my priorities straight, right hon? I'll let you keep everything else straight, ok? :d: :wave:
Right, cuddling and watching TV......usually in that order. :spank:

[Sugarsprinkles]

Gotta keep my priorities straight, right hon? I'll let you keep everything else straight, ok? :d: :wave:


Uh Huh...........and you know I can keep things VERY straight. ;) :bj: All I need is the opportunity, sweetie!

[wyndhy]

OH NO TT! now they know we're onto there sly ways and it was so much fun letting them think they had us all fooled :D

[TinTennessee]

OH NO TT! now they know we're onto there sly ways and it was so much fun letting them think they had us all fooled :D


Shhhh Wyn, I won't tell if you won't! lol

[wyndhy]

too late...the cat's outa the bag now. i guess we'll just have to settle for being able to have multiple orgasms :p

[Steph]

And from my almost two years of working for a dating company, I would just like to say that the men with the most charming profiles are the crudest, rudest, foulest SOBs when they're dealing with the employees of the site.

Let's all go out and meet the man of our dreams, people! :D

[Belial]

Nightmares are kinds of dreams, Steph :p

[Oldfart]

There was a great line from a TV show.

Woman "Haven't you ever used sex to get what you want?"

Man "But sex IS what we want!"

Seriously, people who need to pretend to be other than they are to attract the other sex

normally won't last long here.

[Catch22]

I may be slow but damn if I haven't finally figured it out! The reason men put in their profiles that they enjoy...long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners and good movies is ..........

If they put what they really enjoyed....Beer, scratching their ass and watching football, they would never find a woman!

Then again, if I see a man's profile that says he enjoys the walks on the beach at sunset, etc...I'm usually thinking..what stupid bitch is gonna actually believe that?

Just felt like sharing... :wine:

I walk along the beach till I find some topless teenage girls!

[Catch22]

I have had on a proflie for a net dating site that: Must like long walks. (Because I don't have a car!)

[Ranger1930]

I just think its great..

I mean now.. they've finally figured it "all" out..

I can sit back and watch the show..



never know.. maybe in a couple months they'll really start to figure out the things we say... hehe


think we are freaks now.. just wait till you really get inside our heads..

[Catch22]

:cheers: .....yep, know exactly what ya mean....i think i've finally deciphered all that BS tho....it's a type of shorthand....here's my interpretations:

loves long walks on the beach really means>>>> walk this way, i've already scouted out a secluded spot, we can have sex

loves candlelight dinners and wine, really means>>>> i'm schmoozing and i'm gonna get you drunk, we can have sex

loves to cuddle and just watch tv, really means>>>>> we can have sex


anybody else got any other good ideas for all that dribble they spout?




No, candlelight dinner means i need you to pay my power bill!

[Ranger1930]

hehe.. either what catch22 said... or.. there's non broke lazy man's version


damn i wish she'd turn the fucking lights on.....

[kathy1]

"think we are freaks now.. just wait till you really get inside our heads.."<<<<< ranger1930


can i just get in your pants, instead? :slurp:

[BigBear57]

So that's why my ads went to hell, I actually put the truth in 'em. Somebody shoulda told me.

[Steph]

Stop yer whining! :)

PM me your profile and I'll edit it. People, this is my job.

People have dissed this scene on Pixies but I read so many of these! I'll edit it for you. It's not rocket science, as we say.

Leave the brutal truth for the third date.

[TinTennessee]

I have had on a proflie for a net dating site that: Must like long walks. (Because I don't have a car!)

Finally, the truth comes out!! rofl

[BigBear57]

I think my problem is image related. With the long hair some see me one way and when we meet the image isn't what they expect. I met one just a couple of weeks ago and damn I was impressed but unfortunately she wasn't. Shit happens. I'm giving the ad thing a rest.

[TinTennessee]

I wasn't really referring to "singles ads" when I started this thread, but with general profiles that people use. I have never done the "singles ads" thing...I'll just do without! lol

[Catch22]

I wasn't really referring to "singles ads" when I started this thread, but with general profiles that people use. I have never done the "singles ads" thing...I'll just do without! lol

Do without??? tsk, tsk.

[TinTennessee]

(sigh) Catch..I'm afraid it's just one of the little responsibilities I have, being a Saint like I am...lol

[Catch22]

(sigh) Catch..I'm afraid it's just one of the little responsibilities I have, being a Saint like I am...lol

I find that very hard to believe 99. :)

[TinTennessee]

I'm sorry, here is a picture of me, maybe now you will believe!!! :wingang:

[Catch22]

I'm sorry, here is a picture of me, maybe now you will believe!!! :wingang:


Just emember those wings have to be back in the shop by Monday. :halo:

[TinTennessee]

Damn, thanks for reminding me!! lol

[OzKristin]

if the guy really likes to cuddle (doesn't matter if it includes before or after sex cuddling) I'll take him ;)

[Catch22]

if the guy really likes to cuddle (doesn't matter if it includes before or after sex cuddling) I'll take him ;) Great! Now if you would just pay this power bill and leave your car here we have a match! :D

[TinTennessee]

Great! Now if you would just pay this power bill and leave your car here we have a match! :D


ROFLMAO!

[whitetiger74]

if the guy really likes to cuddle (doesn't matter if it includes before or after sex cuddling) I'll take him ;)
i always like to be truthfull in everything i do ....... i tryed the lieing path and all it got me was in alot of <<<<< trouble >>>>>>
OZ i love to cuddle as long as it is cold in the house .......... being hot and sticky i really dont like unless its after sex ...........
So shall i pack my bags.. or are you moving in here ..........

[Daft]

Why is it that alot of girls think guy's don't like to cuddle? I've cuddled out every girlfriend I've had lol, none could give me enough cuddles hahaha.

[Catch22]

That is because cuddles lead to feeling about. Feeling about leads to messing about. Messing about leads to having to meet her parents. :yikes: