when sex gets boring

[omen]

Alright folks, I'm new here. I would like to begin by asking all of you students from the college of sexual life-long learning this question: how have YOU rekindled the passion and excitment of a long term relationship (assuming you have had dips in sexual excitment in such a relationship). I look forward to your responses.
Omen

[ChinesePussy]

bring another guy into bed!

[omen]

How did that work out for you the first time, Chinese?

[Lilith]

We started veering off the 'vanilla' path....

[omen]

Tell me more Lilith...

[Lilith]

We began incorporating more sensory type experiences into sex. Variations in pressure, touches, smells, temperatures, etc. I also gave up on being a prudish good girl and became a wanton seductress.;) I would suggest exploring some different sexual practices than is your usual. If you are not in a position to ask for exactly what you want, you can always warm her up to the idea by reading her erotica that involves those practices you'd like to try.

[Steph]

Mmm, reading erotica! That will work! Also, the two people will have to be open to resurrecting the passion for it to work. New stuff - new locations, new positions, new attititudes, new hair, new clothes, new toys - it's all good!

[Lilith]

I think dating other people would spice up things too :D:D:p








oh sorry! That is just what I am working on;)

[Cobalt]

Trying new things, such as toys, positions, role playing, ect.

[omen]

i love these suggestions!

[BlueSwede]

Be sure you're romancing each other outside of the bedroom, too. Giving each other attention, doing things or saying things that say I love you outside of the bedroom, can have quite an impact in the bedroom. Maybe something as simple as being sure you do your fair share of chores at home or do something extra for her when she's had a rough day will translate over into the bedroom in no time. Or tell her way ahead of time how much you're looking forward to making love that night or the next day...mention some of the things you want to do to her...in other words, let the anticipation build up so that you're both about ready to explode when you hit those sheets. Then throw in all the suggestions everyone's been making about changes or additions IN the bedroom as well.

[Cheyanne]

That is so true BlueSwede.....the foreplay doesn't always mean a few kisses and caresses in bed before the fireworks.

I know that I am much more receptive to new things sexually when I have been "romanced" (for lack of a better word - and that doesn't mean receiving flowers and such) outside of the bedroom. Feeling loved, not being tired from all of the kids and chores and sharing the worry of running a home - that is what makes me more receptive to activity in bed (or in any other room for that matter).

A few kisses on the back of my neck, gentle caresses (NOT just on the X zones) across my back, hips, shoulders, will make me anticipate a possible wonderful night ahead.

Communication is also a key. Talk about it, but not in a negative way. Not like - I am so bored with our sex life. That may lead to feelings of inadequacy in the relationship. Go to the bookstore together... there are wonderful books on how to make sex more exciting - pick one out together.. make it fun.....

[Michael Smith]

Great advice so far! I love it!

How about sleeping naked? That sends out all kinds of sexual electricity.

[omen]

Blue, great suggestions

[rabbit]

I would echo what Lilith said. We started getting into role play fantasies a few years ago and we found that they really made things fun.

rabbit

[Nubian]

Hold hands when walking down the street together, even after several years of marriage.

[Michael Smith]

I love the holding hands idea, Nubian. That's one of my favorite things I try to do often. The way I look at it, you can't divorce someone you hold hands with all the time.

[LixyChick]

Going on 17 years now and things are still new and fresh! Different rooms......different positions (some I think I should patent because I never saw em in the Kama Sutra.....lol!). I never thought it possible.......but I am NOT bored to date!

[omen]

So many wonderful suggestions!

[cowgirltease]

Quit making love in the same old place! Be creative!:)

[dicksbro]

We like to go on dates. After 40 years of marriage, I'll ask my wife out on a date ... dinner and movie or a visit to a local dinner theatre. It's fun and builds for a night of intimacy.

A favorite (although a little expensive) is a weekend at a fantasy motel. (The rooms are done in various themes.)

[Daddys_girl]

Oh Dicksbro, we had a theme hotel where I lived in Chicago...SOOOO much fun!

As for bringing the spice back into a relationship, opt for anything off the beaten vanilla path as Lilith mentioned.
There is nothing more erotic that when my husband treats me as his "pet". He handcuffs me, prepares my bath and pampers me; sponging me down, loofahing my body, brushing my hair while my hands are clasp over my head. I adore sitting on the floor, returning the favor by rubbing his feet. I am submissive so anything I am told to do is erotic, lol.

Then there's always surfing the sexual internet together; ordering erotica. Two words for you....LIQUID LATEX. Yummy. Find toys/foods that you can explore each others sexuality with. Try to make each day a little spicy. I hate having my husband see me "uncared for". I always try to dress the part, taking a great deal of time with my appearance. It makes the difference. Just thought I'd add my two cents worth.

[Wildeye]

Cheyanne

Is bang on, communication is the key - talk about your feelings in a none pressurising way.

research has proved that guys who help in the home get 50% more sex and those little things like talking about emotions, a simple hug or opening a car door - all work.

Reading Erotica is good, as is underwear, as are toys - toys are best bought together! Ditto underwear.

Have fun

Wildeye