Island Paradise Revisited 19

M/F, F/F & just about everything else

"That's your biggest problem... you know that, Jeremy?" Pamela said to me, moments after I had confronted her about not only the disconnected camera and erased footage, but also her rather harsh treatment of Lindsay from last evening. "You think whenever this island is concerned, you are some sort of God. You have to be able to watch over everything with your cameras. You have to sit in your little voyeur room and hear every word. That's your shield, your safe haven in life. But... if someone takes that away from you, you get all mad and bothered about it. Like someone took away your favorite toy, and you want it back. Baby..."

As Pamela said those words to me, the feelings within me were becoming more hollow by the second. I just did not understand it. What had gotten into my wife? Just last night, Pamela snapped at Lindsay about usurping too much of Trish's time. Now, she was being mean with me, too. What had I done to her, besides ask her about it?

"I don't think I'm a God when it comes to the island," I told her quietly, really not knowing what the correct way was to respond to her verbal onslaught. "I have my cameras, yes, but you have enjoyed watching them and eavesdropping on others just as much as I have since you found out about it. And it's not like I do anything bad with the camera footage, such as sell it for profit. I keep them private."

"So what?" she countered. "I cut the wire to your camera and erased the tape for a few days. So what? Big deal. It was the only way I could have some privacy with Trish. That should not be too much to ask for, especially considering we were behind closed doors. Privacy should be a given, but no... not here. Not with the Island God - you - around."

"I'm not a God," I reiterated, shaking my head. "What has gotten into you, Pamela? Are you feeling okay? If you wanted some privacy with Trish, all you had to do was tell me. I would have never watched the tape from your evening with her. I probably would have never seen it in the first place, considering so much here gets overlooked. There is so much going on that I usually only see live happenings now." I paused and added, "Why'd you erase six days worth of tape?"

"I didn't want you to see me cutting that wire at first," she replied, still in her defensive mode. "And I went back in time to erase any suspicions you may have had. But now, it doesn't matter. I don't care if you know or not."

I tilted my head and looked at her strangely. It was as if a different person had invaded my wife's body, and was now controlling her. In her brief times of recent anger, I had seen bits and pieces of Pamela like this. But never to this extent, however. She was letting it all loose at once.

"What's wrong, Pamela?" I asked her, in both a timid and quiet tone. "What are you so mad about?"

"I'm not mad about anything!" she returned, offering a laugh for extra emphasis. "Mad? Me? HA!" I gave her another peculiar look before she continued, "I'm sure you are wondering, Jeremy, why I wanted some privacy - for a change - with Trish last night." I nodded my head and she countered, "But that's just it, Jeremy! It was PRIVATE! Don't worry, though. You'll find out about it soon enough."

I did not like the venomous side of my wife.

"Why were you mean to Lindsay last night?" I asked her, now a bit miffed myself. "You say you want privacy from me, which is fine. But what did Lindsay ever do wrong to you?"

"Lindsay never did a thing wrong," my wife countered. "I never said she did a thing wrong. Did I?"

"No, I guess not," I replied, my tone nonchalant and wavering. "But why did you snap at her?"

"I didn't snap at her," Pamela told me. "I just told her that she hogged too much of Trish's time. She needed to share and when I told her that I wanted to spend the evening alone with Trish - so her and I could talk - Lindsay got all mad and defensive about it."

Normally, I would take Pamela's words and treat them as gold. I trusted her implicitly, and would never think of doubting the sincerity or truthfulness of what she said.

Right now, however... this was an exception.

"I think you were the one who got mad and defensive about it, Pamela," I said to her, knowing that would make her even more angry. "Lindsay is not the type of person to act that way. But you... when provoked, it's like you're a different person. I watched you punch and slap Devon senseless a few weeks ago." I shook my head once more and added, "I don't know what's gotten into you. Lindsay came here to my room last night. You hurt her so much that she was CRYING. You're the one who got mean about things... not her."

"You know what, Jeremy?" Pamela said, obviously holding a newfound rage of anger within herself. "I'm going to forget that you said that to me. I... I am. If you trust Lindsay more than you do me... fine." She bristled past me, and went toward the door. Before reaching it, however, Pamela turned and looked my way. "Maybe you should think about having Lindsay as your wife from now on."

"Pamela!" I exclaimed, completely stunned by her words, while making a motion to follow her and get this issue resolved. But, her cruel scream stopped me in my tracks.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Perhaps my comment about Pamela being the mean-spirited one during her squabble with Lindsay - and not the other way around as she so claimed - was a bit harsh on my part. At the same time, however, I thought it was the truth. No... I KNEW it was the truth. Lindsay would not have come to my suite with tears in her eyes unless she had a reason for it.

* * *

As I sat in my bed and tried to make sense of this whole mess, I found that I couldn't. Nothing from this situation made any sense to me whatsoever. Why was this happening?

Two things were obviously certain, though. First - for whatever reason - Pamela had snapped and spoke down to Lindsay in a very belittling way. She wanted to spend the night with Trish, and made it perfectly clear (in a cruel way) that Lindsay was not welcomed to attend.

Secondly, Pamela had some sort of secret rendezvous with Trish last evening. It was so secretive, in fact, that she had taken the liberty of severing my surveillance camera's connection with a pair of wire cutters.

Just the mere thought and the realization of this made me feel most uneasy - even sick - inside. I loved Pamela with all of my heart and wanted to back her in every single way, but found that impossible with these particular events.

What I found the most troubling, though, was the simple fact that Pamela had hurt Lindsay's feelings. Lindsay was a little angel and deserved NOTHING bad to happen to her. What would possess Pamela and cause her to be so hateful?

Suddenly, another puzzling, scary thought hit me...

What role did Trish play in all of this?

I shook my head at the idea, and vowed to myself to get to the bottom of this. Pamela was my wife. I loved her. Whatever was wrong with her, I would do my best to help her get through it. I would do ANYTHING for Pamela. She was my focal point in life, my center... my main reason to exist.

"I love you, Pamela," I said to the deaf air inside my personal suite, wishing she could have heard those words. "I don't know what's wrong with you, or why you're acting the way you are. But... I want to help. I WILL help."

* * *

When I left my personal suite just moments later, my only priority was to find Pamela and get to the bottom of this mess. However, that priority changed once I heard a series of loud, uncontrollable cries elsewhere in the mansion. I did not want any of my women to be hurt or upset in any way, of course, but my eyes went wide at the sound of those cries simply because I could tell they were coming from Lindsay.

I went in the direction of those horrible-sounding cries, and eventually realized where I wanted to go was the common room. Once there, I felt absolutely sick to my stomach at what I saw. Lindsay was sprawled out upon the floor - on her side, clutching her front as she sobbed uncontrollably. Lindsay's eyes were shut as her body trembled with pure pain and anguish. Her eyes were closed too, and her precious face was completely red and soaked with endless tears.

Devon was in the room too, perched on her knees behind Lindsay and holding the 19-year-old's hand to console her. Torrie was also present, but seemed to be in a foul mood as she stood off to the side. Torrie had her arms folded, her expression strict and full of anger.

What in the world was wrong with Lindsay? The thought raced throughout my mind repeatedly. She was crying so hard and furiously that it seemed as if her entire reason for living had just been ripped away from her.

"What's wrong?" I asked, racing up to Lindsay and Devon, and dropping to my own knees in front of them. Lindsay did not answer but continued to cry, and Devon looked up at me with a tear streaming for her own eye.

"Trish is leaving Lindsay," Devon quietly told me. "She is going back home to Canada."

"What?" It took a few seconds for Devon's words to fully sink in and absorb within my mind. When they did, I was absolutely stunned. "What happened? WHY?"

Still crying like I had never seen anyone before, Lindsay sat up and looked at me through her sheet of tears. Slowly, she placed both arms around my shoulders and hugged me with great feeling and emotion.

"S... sh-she... Tri-Trish said..."

"No," Devon said quietly, about to cry herself, caressing

Lindsay's forehead with her head. "Don't talk, honey."

"No..." Lindsay returned. "I... I can d-do it..."

"What happened?" I asked again, still stunned.

"Tr-Trish... she... gave me a ch-choice," the teen-ager

stammered out, obviously in no position to speak coherently. However, she trudged forward. "Either... go to Canada with her r-right now or... nev-never see-see-see h-her ag-again." Lindsay's cries and sobs multiplied with those words, and now she was completely unable to even get a word out.

Clutching the little blonde tightly, I looked at Devon and then Torrie, who was shaking her head in absolute disgust as she watched Lindsay - the one person she loved more than anything - in the middle of an emotional meltdown.

"Trish gave her an ultimatum," Devon told me. "She said she was going back to Canada today, with or without her. Lindsay could have their relationship continue if she went with her. If not, everything between them was dead."

"Oh my God..." I muttered outloud, even more stunned now.

"I-I-I to-told her I w-was staying... on the i-i-island," Lindsay bawled. She was so hurt and distressed that it was painful for me to even hear Lindsay talk. "I-I-I... I'm not leaving the i-island. I'm n-not leaving you, J-Jeremy."

"Lindsay said that she loves you Jeremy, more than she does Trish," Devon mused, obviously having spoken to the teen-ager about everything before I entered the common room.

"I know," I replied quietly, my insides being torn to absolute shreds. "That's the reason why she chose to stay here in the summer-time instead of moving to Canada with Trish in the first place. Lindsay said she loved me more."

"TR-TRISH L-LIED!" Lindsay spat out.

"What?" I asked, taken back by her anger.

"Trish's whole purpose in coming back to the island was

to convince Lindsay to move to Canada with her," Torrie said, shaking her head in disgust. "Trish lied about devoting her life to Lindsay and the island. She was going to work on her and eventually lead up to this day, when she dropped the ultimatum."

"I can't believe it," Devon cringed, wiping more tears away from her own eyes. "Torrie was right all along. She said Trish would rip Lindsay's heart out again, and she did. I thought Trish had really settled here for good..."

"IT WAS ALL A LIE!" the 19-year-old exclaimed in a rage. "All those words! All-all th-those promises! Tr-Tr-Trish said she w-would never l-l-leave me a-again!" When Lindsay broke off our embrace, now I could not even look at her. Her eyes and face were flushed red, and tears were just streaming down her cheeks and dripping onto the floor.

Torrie moved in and took a seat beside Lindsay, and immediately brought her into her arms. The crying fit continued as Torrie shook her head and looked at me, before mouthing the words, "I told you this would happen." At least those words were silent, otherwise Lindsay would have probably felt even worse than she already did.

* * *

Indeed, Torrie was right. "Now, months later, Trish just decides out of the blue that she wants to ride back into Lindsay's life. For what? So she can stay here for awhile, then rip Lindsay's heart out AGAIN?" That was a direct quote from Torrie (to me) from several weeks ago. At the time, we all had just learned that Trish was coming back to the island and Torrie, naturally, was quite upset about it.

"Trish absolutely stuck a dagger in Lindsay's heart by leaving her," was another of her quotes from that discussion. "But since Lindsay is so nice and sweet, and so forgiving... she is willing to take Trish back. I love Lindsay, Jeremy, and I would NEVER do a THING to hurt her! ... I just think Trish is nothing more than an inconsiderate BITCH!"

Again, those two quotes were what Torrie had said to me a couple of weeks ago. They turned out to be very prophetic.

* * *

"This is so sad," Devon whined, shaking her head and trying to hold back a new flow of tears. "I can't stand to see Lindsay like this. It hurts me..."

"I'm here for you, honey," Torrie said, trying her best to console Lindsay in her time of pain and grief, while embracing her tightly. "Go ahead and cry, baby. Let it all out. You'll feel better in the long run because of it."

As Lindsay continued to allow her emotions to pour out, I stood up and took a very deep breath. "Will you two stay with her... until I come back?" I said to Devon and Torrie.

"Of course," Devon replied. "But where are you going?"

"I have someone to talk to," were my words, before I

turned and stormed off in my own fit of anger.

I never thought it would HURT me to look at Lindsay, who I found to be one of the most appealing, sweetest women I had ever known. But now? It did hurt me to look at her. She was in such a horrible state...

* * *

"Did you honestly think that I was going to spend the rest of my life on this island?" Trish said to me with a laugh, after I had confronted her in her room.

Oddly enough, when I barged in, I found Pamela here as well. I didn't pay her a lot of attention at first, but did realize that she was laying on the bed with a book in hand.

"This island is a nice place to visit," Trish told me. "It sure isn't a place to call your home. Unless, of course, it's you... Jeremy. You live like a hermit here because you don't like the world and what it has done to you."

"You can have your opinions," I said back at her, fuming with anger. "I don't really care about your opinions. What I do care about is that you LIED to Lindsay about your intentions here. You should have known she would NEVER leave this island. You PROMISED her you would stay here with her forever, yet you pull back less than a month later and give her a take-it-or-leave-it ultimatum."

"I did what I thought was necessary," Trish returned, closing one of her suitcases as she was in the process of packing. "I do love Lindsay, but I don't love her enough to stay in some far-away corner of the world for the rest of my life. I have my family, my friends... I would never leave them behind - for ANYONE."

"You lulled her into a false sense of security, and then you ripped her heart out," I said, the anger within me increasing. "You came back here to try and accomplish what you FAILED at during the summer - and that was to get Lindsay to go to Toronto with you. You don't love Lindsay. If you did, considering you didn't want to stay here and then LIED about it, you would have never came back."

"Oooooh," Trish squealed, grinning, as she glanced over at Pamela. "Look at Jeremy, will you? He's getting all hot under the collar. Can you believe it?"

"Who's the mean one now?" Pamela retorted, glaring at me with a look of disdain.

I turned toward my precious wife, who was still laying upon the bed with a book in hand. The book, entitled - "TORONTO: PLACES TO GO AND SEE" - was open, and apparently she had been leafing through it.

"What are you doing here, Pamela?" I said to her, which were the first words which came to my mind. "Don't you have anything to say about how Trish broke Lindsay's heart?"

"Yes... as a matter of fact, I do," Pamela said with confidence and style, as she got out of the bed. "It's too bad that Lindsay won't be going to Toronto with us."

Us?

"Trish was right-on with everything she said about this island," Pamela continued. "Good place to visit... bad place to live." I gulped my throat as she went on, "I am so shielded from the rest of human life that when you and I went to Lima last week, Jeremy, I actually felt scared. I was scared... for the first time in my life, around others. I had forgotten how to act around others."

"What are you saying, Pamela?" I asked, my voice hollow.

"Lindsay may love it here, but I don't," she replied. "I

have learned that over the past few months. I have also learned, Jeremy, that our marriage... it was a mistake. You and I are way too different for this to last all that much longer. I can't live like this. I'm sorry."

Did you ever have the feeling, at any point in your life, that you had just shrunk about two or three feet in height?

This was the lowest point of my life...

"Pamela and I had a good talk last night," Trish said with a fiendish grin. "I may not go back to Canada with Lindsay... but then again, I always knew I wouldn't. It sure was good to fuck that little whore again, though." Trish giggled at her own words before adding, "But at least when I go back home later today, I won't be alone."

"Pamela...?" I said, about to cry, looking at my wife.

"You're so blind, Jeremy," Pamela laughed, holding the

book in her hands while approaching me. "You've created such a shield around yourself because of what Victoria did to you. You can't even see the obvious when it is right, smack-dab, in front of you."

"I haven't been happy here in MONTHS," she continued. "I really should have never married you. I never loved you as much as you loved me. I did this out of convenience." With every sentence my wife said, it felt as though a new dagger was being stuck in me. My shoulder. My gut. Leg. Hip...

"The only reason I stayed here this long was because of Lindsay, and then you bringing Cassidy, Devon and Stephanie, as well as Amy, Torrie and Trish back. That bought you an extra month with me, Jeremy, but I can't go any further."

"I loved Trish from the moment I first saw her, but I kept those feelings bottled up inside, because of Lindsay. After last night, though... I'm going to spend the rest of my life with the person that I truly, dearly love. Trish. And, Trish did tell me of her true intentions here shortly after coming back to the island. I kept them a secret."

"Your relationship was so one-sided," Trish said to me, adding salt to my wounds. "Pamela tolerated you, Jeremy. That's all. It's typical, though... you're a man. Any woman in her right mind could NEVER find true happiness with a man. They only find that with another woman."

Pamela pressed the Toronto tourism guide into my chest and bristled past me, saying, "I don't want your money, Jeremy. I never have... I just want a divorce."

That dagger? It went through my heart.

As I crumpled to the floor and sighed in the greatest, most intense amount of emotional hurt I had EVER felt, Trish offered a wicked laugh and said, "Men... Pamela, honey... when does our helicopter leave?"

"Two hours," my wife replied. "I have to hurry and get all of my clothing and things packed. Don't worry, though. We'll make it to the helicopter in time. We'll be okay."

Pamela spoke in such a nonchalant way that it seemed like she did not even care about me ONE BIT...

<<<- End of Part 19 ->>>

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