Innocence Lost

VIII

In Which Innocence is found in a Vegan Commune; and gains profit by untrammelled display to an unknown public; and in which Dodie discovers Innocence in the cool mountain air.

Innocence made the journey to Brook by train, waving goodbye to her sister and Kedi and wearing the clothes she thought best suited her destination. These were a pair of baggy shorts, sandals and little else except for the rucksack she had over her shoulders. She had decided that the clothes of her sister's district were not really appropriate. The train eventually surfaced in Brook and she disembarked at the town of Sauterelle. She didn't know anyone in Brook except her former lover, Purity, and she thought it would be best to stay with her.

She didn't really know where to go when she arrived in the town - it was much larger than Divin and there were no signposts pointing to Purity's commune. She humped her rucksack over her back and wandered through the streets of thronging bare flesh forever glancing around in the hope of seeing Purity's distinctive dark skin. Purity had given her some very sketchy directions but they didn't seem at all adequate as she paused by a street map just outside a municipal building. She felt curiously conservative in a town where almost all younger people were thoroughly naked and she could compare her own hidden endowments with those of all the men there. However, the street map was of some assistance and she established that the way to Purity's commune was several miles away. After a lot of questioning and searching around, she eventually found a bus which took her within two miles of the commune from which she could walk.

She had curiously romantic views of what Purity's commune would be like. She did not expect it to be in such a very rundown farmhouse. Just outside, sitting in the sun, were a naked couple in the distinctive unkempt appearance that Purity had expected: the man with a long untidy beard obscuring what little of his face was not already covered by his long hair and the woman's face similarly hidden by her long curtains of hair. Innocence introduced herself to them. "I'm looking for my friend Purity," she explained.

"Purity," mused the woman pushing a curtain of hair to one side revealing a long nipple on a tiny breast. "I don't think she's here at the moment. She's always going off all over the place, isn't she?"

"Yes," agreed the man. "She's always travelling. I don't think she's decided what she wants from Brook."

Seeing how disappointed Innocence was with her friend not there and discovering that she really didn't have alternative accommodation, the couple said that she could stay at least until the evening when the commune could discuss if she could stay longer. All decisions affecting the commune had to be decided communally and there were meetings every night for several hours concerning the issues involved. "I think we spend more time talking about what we can do than actually doing it!" remarked the man.

While Innocence waited for the evening meeting to start, she was introduced to other people of the commune. Everyone had let their hair grow freely, wherever there was hair to grow, and Innocence felt very odd with only the stubble of hair on her head which made her look thin and slightly malnourished. They also wore no clothes at all - not even robes or jewellery or shoes - making Innocence feel even more distinct from her company. Not only was there an attitude of naturalness in how people appeared, there was a total openness about their sexual behaviour. Several couples or groups of more than two were indulging in sex when Innocence first met them, and there was no attempt to stop for Innocence's sake. The man would continue fucking away while chatting, totally unembarrassed about it and totally unconcerned about any sensitivity Innocence might have.

Innocence joined in the communal dinner which was a kind of amorphous mush of boiled vegetables which tasted overcooked and rather too spicy. There was no crockery or cutlery used and Innocence had to dip her hand into a large mound of tepid mush to take handfuls of the food and then direct into her mouth what little of it didn't immediately fall onto either the floor or onto her breasts. She began to appreciate the lack of clothes as a way of keeping the laundry duties low.

Eventually, and in a somewhat chaotic way, the meal evolved into the communal meeting she'd been told about. She sat through what seemed to her a very tedious discussion between at most three of the twenty or so people gathered there concerning the political and moral perspectives regarding fairly mundane things such as a shit rota, the division of shared spaces for the benefit of women's freedom from male oppression and the need to demarcate the commune from the road by some kind of a sign. Almost all the discussions were unresolved and there were no votes taken. One of the people who did most of the talking had a habit of wandering well off any subject of general interest to such subjects as her personal relationships and her unsympathetic views on people who wore wool or silk.

Innocence tried hard to appear as interested in the discussion as she felt she ought to be, but she felt rather disorientated and focused on the joints that were being passed around and had more than once lost touch of what the actual topic of discussion was supposed to be. It, therefore, came as a bit of a surprise to become aware that she was now the subject of conversation and that a man with only a nose visible through the black and grey hair of his face was trying to attract her attention.

"Do you agree or not, sister?" he was asking.

Sister? Wondered Innocence, thinking for a moment they must have thought she was still a nun, but then remembered that everyone addressed each other as sister or brother. "With what?"

"You can stay in the commune for as long as you help with the chores and preparing the food," prompted a man near her whose attempts at growing a beard had resulted in only a few sorry black wispy strands.

"And that you take off those disgusting clothes!" snorted a rather fat woman with a rather large and furry birthmark on her thigh.

Innocence didn't feel able to argue in her marijuana-induced haze, so against her normal inclination she took off her shorts and knickers and stood up shakily feeling a little ridiculous. Her penis dangled down with no feeling, but attracting a great deal of attention. "I agree with everything you say," she said in a voice that sounded rather incoherent and wobbly.

"Are you a brother or a sister?" asked one of the main speakers.

"What a sexist question!" immediately snapped another.

"Gender is not important!" agreed another.

The meeting degenerated into a fervent argument - with everyone in agreement - that Innocence's gender was not a subject of discussion, dispute or voyeurism, while it was quite clear to Innocence, as she slowly lowered herself onto a bean bag, that she was the subject of all these things. She sadly picked up her shorts and knickers and hesitated over putting them back on again, but decided rather to pack them hastily into her rucksack which was resting just behind her.

"Don't worry about it, sister," said one man with a wispy pale goatee and long pale hair. "You're accepted into the commune."

"Am I?" Wondered Innocence slowly stroking her penis and watching with a kind of disinterested fascination as it falteringly got larger. She noticed as she masturbated herself that she was watched with rather the same fascination as an animal in a zoo, and nobody took the opportunity to join her. She felt quite lonely as she came into her hands and allowed the semen to trickle through her fingers and onto the floor. Before long her consciousness left her and she collapsed on the floor by her own little stain and amongst the spillage of her dinner. All around her the meeting continued, apparently regardless, concerning matters of awesome triviality which made staying awake inconceivably difficult.

The commune seemed to be divided into a majority whose work was concentrated entirely on the running of the commune and felt a certain satisfaction in their separatism from the outside world and those whose contribution to the commune was to bring in the money they earned by working. Perhaps because Innocence had never adopted the commune by choice, she felt more sympathy with those in the latter category. One of these was Bouche, a girl who didn't even pretend to have no interest in Innocence's penis but spent rather a lot of time admiring and discussing it. To Innocence this actually felt better than the company of most of the others who so studiously averted their attention from her most prominent feature in a way that made Innocence feel actually rather more self-conscious and embarrassed. Most people in the commune, however, avoided contact with her altogether.

Bouche was a petite girl with tiny breasts that were mostly nipple and very girlish hips. Like all the girls in the commune she didn't believe in even the ostentation of a ribbon in her hair but she did nonetheless plait her hair. This meant that her face shone out rather than being obscured by either a curtain or a mound of hair. She made her living, Innocence was intrigued to find, in a photographic studio.

"Are you a model?" Innocence wondered.

"No, not at all," laughed Bouche. "I don't think I've got quite the right figure or features. And, anyway, I'd have to shave my legs and get my hair styled to do that." What Bouche did, Innocence discovered, was to fellate the male models who posed for the studio. There wasn't much of a demand for just nude models in the newspapers and magazines of Brook as nudity was so widely visible, but the demand for erotic or pornographic photographs was in no way diminished because of that. What she did was help at the studio by stimulating the penises of the male models so that they were fully erect for the photographs that would appear in women's magazines or newspapers. This inevitably included semen shots, but these weren't always used. "It's not always very photogenic," Bouche explained. A lot of people in the commune disapproved of Bouche's source of income, but it didn't bother her. "They say it's sexual exploitation and I'm contributing to it. But I'm not the one being photographed and it's not like proper sex, not like real pornography. And besides I enjoy it. I can give several dozen blow jobs in a day. And I've become an expert." She smiled indulgently at Innocence. "Here. Let me demonstrate."

Innocence didn't mind as Bouche took her penis into her hand and then with a mixture of caressing with her fingers, licking with her tongue and manipulating her lips, throat and teeth, bring it to a very full erection. "The art of my work," explained Bouche when Innocence's penis was as engorged as it had ever been, "is to bring the penis to its maximum point and to hold it there for as long a time as possible. And, my! You certainly are splendidly endowed!"

Innocence also needed to earn some money. Her sister's generosity was not sufficient for Innocence to stay in Brook for very long, and she didn't feel too enthusiastic about spending her time emptying latrines, preparing stews and attending the interminable meetings. There was no evidence of Purity returning yet, and Innocence felt she'd rather see a little more of Brook than just Sauterelle. She'd heard, for instance, of the snow-covered mountains of Les Grandes Petites, and wanted the opportunity to visit them. Bouche appreciated that and suggested to Innocence that she pose for her photographic studio. "They mostly only photograph men, but I'm sure they'd make an exception in your case. And because you're so (let's face it!) unusual you'll probably get paid a better rate."

Innocence had more than a few reservations about being photographed by strangers and then to be viewed by many more strangers in their magazines and journals, but Bouche persuaded her that there really wasn't any pain involved. "You don't have to spend more than a couple of hours in the studio. And it'll be more than worth your while." Innocence walked with Bouche into the town of Sauterelle, feeling really very embarrassed with her penis dangling between her legs. She hated the attention it attracted as she walked by - some of it shock, some of it persistent curiosity and some of it people simply turning their heads to have a second look. She felt she'd been right to keep her assets well-hidden and resolved to return to wearing her shorts when she'd left the commune to see the rest of Brook. It sometimes occurred to her that one of the other reasons she was attracting attention was because of the extreme shortness of her hair which was still only a few days' growth.

The photographic studio was just above a shop in one of the main streets in Sauterelle and very well-equipped in technical equipment. She didn't know the names of even a fraction of the machines she could see but nonetheless they were very impressive. The photographer was a small gay man who wore a beret over his shoulder-length hair and had a ring pierced through the foreskin of his long thin penis. He had a curious habit of tweaking and stroking his penis as he spoke but it gave no sign of having an independent life.

"So you're Innocence," the photographer smiled. "You even exceed the description Bouche gave me of you! I really must take advantage of your kind offer. I've already cancelled two other engagements. And if need be I'll cancel more." He took Innocence's balls in his hand and gently bounced them up and down as if weighing them. "And you're so very beautiful!"

The rest of the session took place in a room at the back involving a bewildering array of backdrops and in which countless lamps and cameras were pointed at Innocence. The pattern of each session was much the same - and the photographer insisted on several of these for which he offered ever more tempting sums of money. The photographer and Bouche chatted with Innocence on subjects of bizarre inconsequentiality, such as the weather, the football league or the design of a neighbour's shop-front. All the time, Bouche would stroke her penis and occasionally take it into her mouth as if waiting for a time when it was ready. Then, as if an invisible and inaudible signal had been transmitted, Bouche would start getting more energetic with her fellatio and the photographer would move towards his cameras talking all the time, but interjecting his patter with comments such as "That's right!", "You're doing fine!" and "It's coming on now!" As this happened, Bouche's skilled attention caused her penis to engorge to that almost bursting extent she'd succeeded in achieving at the commune.

Then Bouche would disengage her mouth and hands from Innocence's penis, but not her eyes which she kept focused on Innocence's eyes in a way that communicated love, concern and encouragement. Innocence could see Bouche's value to the photographer as she stayed under the gaze of the photographers rapidly shuttering camera with an erect penis that seemed to have lost all memory of what it was like to be small. It stayed erect for what seemed like forever, while the photographer coaxed Innocence into different sitting and standing poses with a variety of backdrops he selected. Some of these backdrops featured bedrooms or other rooms in a house. Some of these were outside scenes of mountains, lakes or cities. Others were completely surreal - such as outer space, mythical countries or prehistoric environments. Sometimes Innocence would be asked to hold her penis forward in some triumphant pose. Sometimes to put a hand behind her stubbled head with a coy smile. Sometimes she was asked to put a finger in her anus and then to put it to her mouth or nose. Occasionally, Bouche would intervene to give Innocence's penis a little stroke or even to put the glans in her mouth to keep her member in a sufficient state of excitement.

The session would end, again decided by Bouche's and the photographer's experienced skill, with Bouche exciting Innocence's penis exactly to the point of coming and then Bouche would disappear out of camera shot as Innocence masturbated off the drops of semen that she could squeeze out of her. At this stage the photographer would come very close to the top of Innocence's penis to make sure of capturing the moment each stream of semen came free of her penis and spurt forth.

After each session, Innocence felt no less exhausted than Bouche and the photographer seemed to be, and quite happily collapsed on the bed that was made available with Bouche on one side and the photographer on the other, who recommenced his comforting prattle. Innocence felt somehow better for attracting so much attention to her body, but also felt that this wasn't an experience she'd like to repeat for a long time. Her balls ached in a curious way and there was a very strong and rich smell given off by her genitals.

However, Innocence was delighted by the cash she received at the end of her day. It was far more than she'd expected and more than enough for her to leave the commune at Sauterelle and see Les Grandes Petites. That evening, when she headed back to her hammock at the commune after eating a hamburger and chips at a take-away, in preference to the lentil and bean mush she'd otherwise have to eat, she resolved to leave the following day unless Purity appeared. And as Purity was as far away as ever, Innocence found herself several days later walking up the mountain passes of Les Grandes Petites. It was wonderful to get away from people! exclaimed Innocence to herself. It was a warm day, but even so she could feel a little cool draught coming down from the snowy peaks. She wore only the boots she'd bought at a mountaineering shop at the nearest resort and the rucksack over her shoulders in which she kept her other clothes, a flask of coffee and some sandwiches. It was with relief about a half hour earlier that she'd decided she was sufficiently isolated from anyone's curiosity to abandon the shorts she'd returned to wearing all the time since she'd left the commune at Sauterelle. It was curious to Innocence how her present nudity seemed to differ from that of the commune where it had almost been a religion rather than a preference. She wasn't too sorry to leave the commune, its tasteless food and uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, its overwhelming smell of body odour and bad breath. But it was with sadness that she'd left Bouche and she hoped that when she'd return that Purity would be there.

The mountains were beautiful. She always felt she was coming to the top of them but each time she reached the top of a ridge there was always another much larger one looming over it. Sometimes she paused and sat on the coarse grass which intermingled with her pubic hairs watching the view of Brook stretching out beneath her with the inhabitants looking like tiny insects and their towns like insect nests. Occasionally, she paused that little bit longer to eat a ration of sandwiches, to read her guide book or simply to lie on her back in the sun-warmed stubbly grass and allow the sun to bake her breasts and groin. Perhaps, she thought, I'll lose all evidence of the whiteness that marks where I've worn my shorts.

The guide book she had was one which Bouche had lent her and was written by someone who had an ideological perspective on everything. Innocence found it a bit annoying that there seemed to be nothing about Brook and its landscape that didn't have a history of political struggle or a contemporary ideological resonance associated with it.

After a while, Innocence reached the object of her walk which was to reach the glacier which marked the lowest altitude at which she could expect to meet snow. She walked up to the glacier and then gingerly trod into the crunchy slightly thawing snow. She felt the coolness of it on her ankles just over her boots. Then suddenly, with a curious passion and impulsiveness she threw herself bodily into the white crisp snow so she could feel it against her skin. She luxuriated in the snow as she rolled around in it, dripped it over her breasts and packed it against her groin. Her penis responded to the cold by shrivelling to ever such a tiny size. She felt it with her fingers. It was curiously warm as a contrast to the ice in which it had been dripped. This contrast was enough to stimulate it and soon her penis was as large as it had previously been small and she started unselfconsciously masturbating with her knees sinking in the snow.

Not totally unselfconsciously though, as she suddenly noticed someone also with extremely short hair watching her from a rock just to the edge of the glacier. At first Innocence thought this might be some kind of mirage and she was looking at a mirror reflection of herself, as women with such very short hair were rather unusual in Brook unless they were nuns. But this girl had a very skinny body with tiny breasts just like Bouche.

"Don't stop!" pleaded the girl when she noticed that Innocence had spotted her. "I've really enjoyed watching you! And you've got such a wonderful dick!"

Well really! thought Innocence. She wasn't masturbating for this woman's pleasure. Crossly Innocence picked herself up and waded through the snow away from her partially melted patch towards where she'd left her rucksack.

"Don't go! Please!" pleaded the girl standing up. She, like Innocence, was wearing only boots and a rucksack, but there was a glimmer shining from her crotch and nipples which really didn't seem very natural. Innocence paused briefly, but then continued. Why did her days of solitude have to be disturbed so?

"You're Innocence aren't you!" Shouted the girl. "I've heard so much about you!"

Innocence started. How did this total stranger know her? Was it those photographs she'd had taken of her? Had her freakish fame spread so far? The girl ran towards her, and Innocence could see further glimmerings from the brilliant sun through the ice-blue sky reflecting from what she could now identify as body jewellery. And such a lot of it! Her ears seemed to be a mass of earrings. A ring through her nose. Great round rings through her nipples and a collection of shiny gold and silver metal attached around her groin. A woman clothed only in precious metal.

"I'm a friend of Mouse's!" announced the girl. "My name's Dodie! I knew you were in Brook. Your sister told Mouse about you leaving. I never expected to see you though! And you do have the most wonderful prick!"

Innocence stood by her rucksack on the grass looking bemusedly as Dodie herself stepped out of the snow and her brilliantly edged shadow obscured the few flowers surrounded by melted snow.

"It's beautiful! I must touch it!" gasped Dodie, coming to within feet of Innocence. Dodie reached out her hand and took the round mass of Innocence's testicles in her palm. "It feels so firm and sure! You must be the luckiest girl in the world!"

Innocence wasn't sure that she felt like that, but she settled down in the grass next to Dodie and allowed her to put her arms around her and to caress her breasts and stimulate her penis. She'd had so many hands caress her that she somehow didn't mind a couple more, even from someone who only knew her by report and whom she'd never heard of before.

"You've got Cafard's classic guidebook!" exclaimed Dodie, suddenly taking one hand off Innocence's penis and reaching for the guidebook Bouche had lent her which was lying just by Innocence's sandwiches. "How wonderful! And I didn't know you were at all political! But then Mouse wouldn't know would she!"

Innocence reflected on the truth of that - Mouse hadn't the slightest interest in political, social or ethical matters. However, Innocence wasn't especially marked for her political interests either. "It's not mine, I'm afraid! I'm borrowing it!"

"Don't you find it puts Brook into perspective though?" Remarked Dodie detaching her other hand from Innocence's left breast and used it to support the book on her lap. Innocence felt slightly discarded by this sudden change of Dodie's attention. Her attention was focused on the rings and studs embellishing Dodie's groin and hidden tantalisingly within the bush of her pubic hair. "People think of Brook as just being some kind of naturist holiday resort. A place where you can take your clothes off and fuck in public. But it's so much more than that! It's a whole history of political struggle for freedom. A struggle to retain its own distinctive identity in an unsympathetic nation."

Innocence's mind wandered as Dodie concentrated her thoughts on politics, and she let her gaze return to the hills. The political struggle wasn't there at the moment, she thought. What there was was the swerve and sweep of swifts, the song of birds hidden in trees, the ticking of cicadas in the distance and the shadows of the mountains etched against the deep blue of the sky. She gradually became aware of hands attaching themselves to her thighs. She looked down to see Dodie, who had taken off her boots, kneeling in front of her, resting a hand on each of her thighs, looking imploringly up at her.

"May I?" Dodie asked in a curiously submerged voice glancing pointedly at Innocence's penis. Innocence nodded. She stayed transfixed by the view while Dodie's mouth engaged itself on Innocence's penis with a passion that she'd not experienced since she'd last made love to Mouse. Dodie wasn't as technically proficient at fellatio as Bouche, but there was no doubting her passion or the joy in which she licked up the semen that eventually came pumping forth and threatened to stain the scenery.

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