Hang out with friends, do the things in life that YOU enjoy doing, basically whatever you want.

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

((((((((packrat)))))))))

Aqua's right.....not sure if you followed any of my advice before, but if you did, then you've got a head start in building up your own life without her in it.

If not, then now's the time to start doing what I suggested before. I'd advise against the following though:

1) Getting into a rebound relationship

2) Sleeping around just for the sake of it....at best, you'll find it unfulfilling and at worst you'll end up with a disease

3) Excessive eating, drinking, smoking or drug taking

You must now concentrate on healing yourself, not destroying yourself further with any of the above.

Make a clean break.....delete her number from your phone and don't think about contacting her. If she contacts you, tell her not to. It just prolongs the agony.

Enjoy spending time with people who love you, and concentrate on things you may have neglected while you were with her. Focus on your career goals for a while, or give yourself some new challenges which will give you a sense of achievement.

Don't take out your bad feeling toward her on every other woman you know/meet......it will stand you in very poor stead for future relationships if you do.

Finally, love yourself, don't be afraid to ask for help, and accept that it's going to take time before you feel 'normal' again.

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

thanks a lot....i appreciate all the advice and now i guess i am seeing things clearly. i believe there is something other than my jealousy that has done this. i have no proof, but i believe a guy could be involved. just a hunch i guess. should i, in your own opinions, take the car back or just get some sort of sale contract and let her pay it out?

The car might have to be a loss . . . you did give it to her, no?

packrat I think you're absolutely right....there is more than your jealousy involved, but don't assume it's another man....she may just feel as though she's grown out of the relationship....it happens.

As for the car, if you're paying for it on a monthly basis, you need to ask her to take over the payments for it. If you bought it outright and you told her it was a gift, or that she did not need to pay you back for it at any time, then I'm afraid you'll just have to put it down to experience. Yes, it's a bummer that you're out of pocket, but we don't give gifts to people we love with strings attached.

If she has any scruples she may offer to pay you for it or offer it back to you, but from what I've heard of her, she probably won't do that. Comfort yourself that a woman with so little sense of what's the right thing to do, is out of your life now.

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

packrat, if she keeps the car, make sure the title is out of your name. If you retain any ownership to the car, if anything happens involving it, you beome liable.

the title is in my name and she is paying for it monthly. has been since i bought it. i was gonna give her the title when she paid it off.....

Then it's easy....get it signed over to her, and wash your hands of it.

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

well it's been some time and after talking to her over the past month....man has it been that long.....i've come to a conclusion. the jealousy was a problem....but not THE problem. i think she was scared. not sure, that type of thing. we may end up back together before long...she said she misses our relationship and our commitment. any advice and comments will be appreciated...


oh yea on the car...she offered to keep paying and then said she would give it back....but we eventually worked out a legal plan that will allow her to keep it and me to get the $$$


just another note to let ya'll in on whats been goin on with me. i've been hanging out with a friend i lost touch with after graduation. been going out with him and his woman and i've gotten closer with them. i do feel better about everything. there are moments when i have a little break down like when i am reminded of my ex-fiance (music, movies, etc...) my ex-fiance and i talked a good bit and we actually spent some time with eachother the other day. no doubt i still love her. but i've been acting cool about it. i do think we will get back together and i want to be. advice on what to do if we get together would be great. and another thing, we have been talkin about goin on a little date to just hang out and kinda start from there and see what happens. on our "first" date i'm plannin to play it cool and show her a good time, but what should i do if sex is brought into the picture? should i go with the flow or no. i'm not talkin about me puttin moves on her. i am talkin about her puttin moves on me....just let me know something

I am confused.........you want advise on getting back together with your fiance that just broke up with you, but you want to get back together with a girl from school???

Sounds to me you've already given up on the fiance and moving on. If that's the case then that's meant to be. Take it slow if you want....

Good luck and have fun. Sorry I couldn't be more help, I'm not sure what it is that YOU want.

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~Tainted Love~

lol no no...i meant i had been hangin out with old friends and i have gotten closer to them....then i meant me and my fiance are proly gonna get back together.


i edited the post up there....does it make more sense now?

Oopss....ok.....sorry *blushing*

SOUNDS GREAT THEN!!!!

Take it slow....just enjoy eachothers company, have fun!!!!

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~Tainted Love~

Packrat, from someone who was in the Marine Corps for 12 years, you need to move on. Begin a new life with someone you can trust.

In my twelve years in, I was married 11 of them. I was in The 1st Gulf War, and out in the field for months at a time before and after the war, and the whole time I was gone from my wife I never once had to worry about her sleeping with someone else. I trusted her deeply and totally.

You my friend cannot trust the women you are with, otherwise you would not get jealous when she is not with you. I have a good idea the feelings you have about your fiance, because I feel the same about my wife, who I have been married to for 20 years this past January. I trust her and don't worry about her when she is not around me.

It is hard to give up on someone you love and feel the things you feel, but marriage is built on trust. No trust, no marriage. You will just become another divorce statisic.

I'm going to tell you like your drill instructor or drill Sergeant told you, "PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND GET WITH THE PROGRAM BOY!!!"

The military made or makes you jump thru hoops, why should your jump through hoops when you get home for your wife.

Good luck either way you decide. Its your choice with the advice you have asked for.

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Rise up, gather 'round, rock this place to the ground......Def Leppard
What's this life for......Creed

loulabelle where are you? you are the s*** when it comes to advice

If I may:

To go and have sex with this woman on your "first date" after all that has happened in the last 5 weeks would be a huge mistake, in my opinion. I realize you miss it. I realize you probably miss that feeling of closeness and security. But trust me: Any feelings of closeness, security or even love you may get from sex with her will be fleeting if you don't first deal with the issues at hand. Namely:

Respect -- does your ex respect you as a man, as potential husband? I mean does she admire you? does she listen to you and consider your point of view? Does she appreciate your ideas, your dreams, your goals?
This is the most important thing a woman can give a man. More important than sex by far. (I hope you all will understand me here.)
A man needs to feel respected by his woman. When repsect is not there, everything falls out of whack. I think the men on this board will understand me when I say this.

Trust -- Do you trust her unreservedly? Can you let her be her own person without being afraid she'll outgrow you or stop loving you? Cuz she'll know it when you don't trust her. She'll feel it if you are insecure about your relationship.

Love -- Are you willing to do what is best for her? Are you willing to put her needs above yours? Are you prepared to let her go if you come to the realization that that is what is best for her?

Just some things for you to think about (and maybe talk about) before you start back into a sexual relationship as if nothing has happened to you (and her).

Good luck....

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