This is really hard for me to do so .........
I am A DUMBASS BEFORE anyone else can say anything
My wife is BiPolar and depressive < still not really treated

This story goes on for 10 years prior ....... but I will keep it short.....
I Want a divorse .......... she is clueless....... even though she has been told ..... several times.... how ever I have 2 kidds that i love more than life itself ...... like we all do ....... I dont want to loose them ....... my daughter 5 years old .....Is a daddys girl and wants nothing to do with her mom at all ........ my son 2 1/2 is mommas boy ....... but loves me to death too ..... if i get divorsed it will ruin my kidds and i dont know if i can handle that ..... thats why i have stayed married ....... and not filed..... cause i would rather ruin my life then the kidds lives ........... my daughter and son have no idea something is wrong ...... nor do they have a clue....... my wife dont think anything is wrong either ...... agian even after i tell her all the time ......... she has tryed to obtain help but it isn't really working out ........ i have to much bitterness for what she has done to me in the past ......... but now because of how unhappy i am all the time i find myself being depressed and unconfident more then ever .......... i can't even remember how to do some of the most simple jobs anymore ....... and its affecting my job too ....... custody will go to her ......... no doubt ...... .. i will get them every other weekend ........ but i have to stay in FL and i really have nothing for me here ............ every thing i have is in GA including my education ........
I really just have no idea what to do anymore .......... I really want to take my kidds and run away ........ but i know i can t........... if you need details just ask to help in this advice ............ but i just don't know what to do anymore ..... or even what to say ........ her and i havent really talked in over 2 years ............ HELP !!!!!!!!!!! please i am at wits end........ OH i am broke now too .......... so no money ...... no profesianal help or legal help you know .......... cause of having to move ......... and lower paycheck in FL....... and my chapter 13 now ....... WHAT CAN I DO TO KEEP MY SANITY >>>>>>> ANY ADVICE FOR A FOLLOW THROUGH ............... WHAT CAN I DO

First thing Tiger, finding a happy existance will benefit you and those precious kids. I know you think they're clueless to the marital problems but you'd be surprised what little emotional clues they pick up on. My own divorce wasn't my idea but the thought of separating with my son was unbearable. Hopefully you can keep the dealings civil and get liberal visitations. Whatever you do don't let those kids become bargaining chips. Remind the ex often they're the most important thing. Personally I think taking one step at a time would be the most prudent course. Get the divorce, find a suitable place to live with room for the kids when they visit and then maybe look at the different state thing when you have had time to adjust to living in a different setting and had some time to refind yourself. Take small careful steps and be ever mindful of how the kids are being handled and you should be ok. I ain't sayin' it's easy Bro'... on the contrary it's a real pain but if it's to be done that's how it is done. Feel free to PM me if chatting will help any. God's Speed on your endeavour.

__________________
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Oh yeah, just one more thing. You ain't a dumbass! We all get into situations that leave us feeling brainless, knowing there's a problem and looking for help isn't dumb. Just another dose of my 2 cents worth.

__________________
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Thank you bigbear
She don't take care of the kidds as much ....she has already pressed false abondoment charges on me from moving from GA to here I had to stay behind a week to finish school ... she came to Fl and pressed abondoment on me ...... so the courts already see me as unfit ........ she always uses the kidds as barganing chips and i don't like it ......... the dumbass part is that i should have done the divorse thing 10 years ago ..... when eveything started but you know what young and stupid is ........ try to make everything look little and concour it ...... cause we know it all ...... but as i grew up ....... well i figured out that everything in the past wasn't so small and kept happening ..... and wouldn't stop ......
but now i know what must be done ....... and I keep thinking My daughter that wants nothing to do with her mother ... will suffer the most being away from me ..... I am the only one that can teach her ...... understand her ..... work with her .... she respects and listens too .... her Kintergarden teacher calls me all the time for advice to take care of her and commend on her knowlege base Even though i cant spell for a crap ........ but I am all she wants and really has .......... Loosing her would be like ........ well loosing my life ..........

Please Pm Me Or Post

Friend I wish you the very best but it sounds like it's gonna get ugly. Falsly accusing me of anything especially abandonment would have uncorked the devil in me. I'd have a talk with a lawyer and see about having that cleared up and then.. well if she isn't taking care of the kids very well I'd document it and go for custody. Don't just assume the courts see you as unfit... make 'em prove it.

__________________
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

HUMMMMM ........so you don't think the state can make it stick ???????
i thought once that was on file you are basically guilty....... even with no proof...... because they made it sound that way ... ....... even the lawyer i was talking to when i had money ........ he said this dont look good for you cause she was in FL and you were in GA .......... even if it was just for a week ....... and even if you were in school ..........

WT, you aint gonna like it...but this sounds like you need professionals. There must be some free legal advice service in your area. It's worth having a look. A lawyer might have ideas that could let you keep the kids, if she really is having serious troubles. For heavens' sake ask. Don't just assume you can't win.

Divorce will never hurt your kids as much as staying in a bad relationship will, provided you STAY IN THEIR LIVES. Even if you only have them every other weekend (or on holidays if you move back to Georgia), in this time of email and phone calls...you can choose to be part of their daily lives. Hell, stamps are cheap if that's your only option.

I speak as a child of divorced parents. I'm well adjusted, happy, in a stable relationship myself. Their divorce didn't ruin me. It let me have two happy parents leading different lives, instead of two miserable parents who were so busy just holding themselves together they couldn't give me what I needed.

But more than anything, do what you're going to do with a cool head. You sound frantic right now. You need to make plans, look into options, and do everything calmly. Leaving in a fit of temper is the LAST thing that's going to make you look good.

G

How old were you when you parents got divorsed GingerV???
I like any advice i can get ..... so anything you say i would like ????
I have made plans but i keep hitting dead ends ....... free legal here is income based and so is phyciatric....... but i make too much on gross income ...... even though i only bring home less then $300.00 every two weeks....... and its costing me $200.00 every two to survive getting to work and eating ...... YES I BRING MY LUNCH ....... I would get a job closer to the house but..... she will come up to work and cause me to get fired like she has before ....... even telling her to stay away don't work ..... she is not playing with a full deck .... i have serched out almost every option i could think of before posting this ........ my outlook keeps getting grim........ I try to keep everything as cool as can be and focuse on just the kidds and it works ..... they are really comfotable and are not haveing any learning issues ...... so i am happy for that ..... I have been trying to make plans but as i said they keep getting dead ended because she is contesting it ...... and told me she would ...... but then she don't know anything about it the next day ...... who knows i think she is smarter then what I give her credit for ...... and she is playing games ..... she had me followed the other night ........ but i lost him .... i told her about me being followed and she just looked around and said OH how do you know .... i said i knew and left it at that ..... i have the Tag number and a police officer friend checking it out ......... I know it might sound like i have an excuse for everything on this but I promise you that i have been trying to figure this out for 8 months in FL and for 2 years in GA this is my last hope to ask my pixies family ..... cause i know i can trust you all

I was every bit of 6 years old. My brother was 4. He remembers more about life before the divorce, ironically. Everyone says I really withdrew into my own little world to escape the stress. We both knew there was stress, and fights going on. We both tried to be extra good, to make up for it. Kids react in funny ways.

I don't know what to tell you mate, it sounds like you're up against it. All I can tell you is to document everything, and keep looking for answers. Others might have more concrete support to offer. The practical side of divorce isn't something I've ever had to do (touch wood).

G

I dont have any advise, but wish you the best and peace of mind also

:hug:

__________________
~Tainted Love~

as a kid from a divorce i can say that having my father come see us every week for the day was far better than having him at home unhappy.
dunno what its like in the states but surely the other people involved the kindergarden school teacher, wive's doctors etc can testify what is going on. how can a week be grounds for an abondoment charge (WTF) to get that though she must have filled it almost as soon as she got there. does nobody actually check you have done a bunk or not ? 1 womans word can not be good enough surely ?

GingerV..... thats what i am scared of happening .... My daughter is sooooo smart for a 5 year old .... and thats what i am scared is going to happen ... she is a very friendly rugrat and i don't want her to clam up sort of speaking .... thats what i ment about ruining her ....... i have been documenting everything that i can and back filling what i can remember as i remember it ........ thank you for all your concern and advice I really appresiate it alot more then you will ever know .............

imaginewithme.... Thank you i need .........

smoothballs.... how old were you when they got divorsed ????.. she did file as soon as she got here to FL ..... as a matter of fact it was the 2nd day she was here .... she told them that i refused to come here and pay child support ... and that i came down here with them and left in the middle of the night ... and told them i said i was not coming back ... with is BULLCHIT... but the state took her word to it and it went almost went to court but i came down about a week later .... it might have been a few days longer like a week and a half < MIGHT ... but no more then that ... they had the court date set and everything by the time i got here .... Legal aide in FL is income based ... but 3 free consutations with lawyers so far is making it all look Grim ... the court has filed it as abondoment .. but returned.. and the case was droped
however I CANT LEAVE THE STATE WITH OR WITH OUT THE KIDDS ..... with out her written notorized permission or i risk kidnapping .. MY OWN KIDDS ... or Abandoment again ... with warrant for arrest .. per the state of FL
(WTF) is right ............... <<<<<<<<<<I HATE THIS STATE>>>>>>>>>>