I am so, so sorry I did not respond to this as soon as I returned to Pixies.
I was being my usually flighty self, far too self absorbed over my recent issues that I failed to look for other's who might be having pain/issues.

I do NOT want to open old wounds here, but I am compelled to say something.

THIS IS SERIOUS

THIS IS SEXUAL ASSAULT

YOU WERE VIOLATED!

As a woman who self identified as a lesbian nearly her entire adult lifer, I say THE GENDER OF THE OTHER PERSON MEANS NOTHING!!

When I practiced as a Nurse among a great many other things in my career I was certified in Women's Sexual Health, counseling other Women on sexual issues, but more to the point I was also a certified Sexual Assault Advocate/Counselor.

When I went through my training there was relatively little on same gender assault, mostly about male-on male, and essentially little to nothing about Woman on Woman assault.

The discussion in these cases was more about violent altercations, a Woman beating up another Woman, to put it simply. Theses were considered sexual assaults because often there was a sexual component, the aggressor attempting to subdue her victim in order to physically molest her.
The discussion at the time dealt with the lack of penetration. Remember, at this time in many states, the law did not consider a sexual assault rape unless there was penetration, in some states at least by object.

As I age, however ungracefully, I have to remember that much of what I have learned and experienced is very dated in our world today, and in many ways I am both happy and saddened that the laws and rules have come closer to catching up to reality.

First: If you are still having any issues, and I am almost certain that you are, whether it be sleep issues, nervousness in crowds, or when alone (more than you should normally) or intimacy issues, PLEASE seek a counselor.

It is NOT RARE for a Victim to seek counseling years after such an assault.

I want to address some specific questions you asked.

First: YOU ARE IN NOW WAY RESPONSIBLE OR AT FAULT FOR THIS.

PERIOD.

Second: Report her to the organizers of the event. The reality is that as she is a woman there may be a some resistance to possibly banning her from future events, but I would be very surprised if she hasn't done this to others at the same event.

It sounds like there were a lot of witnesses, if you have the means to do so, contact them and see if they are willing to support your story to those in charge.

Last, it is not too late to file a police report. Given the circumstance there is no issue regarding collecting evidence, but eye-witness reports are very helpful.
In many jurisdictions these things are just filed away, but if another report is filed in the future, it documents a pattern that can be used in prosecution.

Another thing.

She is not a pervert, whether lesbian or straight male.

SHE IS A PREDATOR

THIS WAS NOT ABOUT SEX, THIS WAS AN ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST YOU

Just as men will do, she took advantage of surprise and shock, her desire was to create confusion, uncertainty and FEAR.
The physical and emotional paralysis that goes with such an assault is part of the thrill for them, and is used as a weapon.

In nearly every person I counseled there was at least a moment, a split second of complete shock and fear when something happened, a deserted parking lot, in a crowded elevator, standing in line for concert tickets, or to get into a nightclub in a bar, or in an out-door concert venue. Often the unexpected setting itself is part of the weapon being used

Knowing what to do is so very hard. My personality is, as in most people, a combination of upbringing, education, and of course experience.

What I would do is not necessarily what you should do.

I have some personalality aspects that apply to myself, and only to myself.
My stature, or rather lack there of, is pretty much the opposite of yours.
You are literally a foot taller than I am
This has given me a strong aggressive attitude towards others when I feel I am being pushed around or otherwise taken advantage of.
I literally have been thrown out of and banned form more than one (OK two) Women's bars in New Orleans and Baton Rouge for fighting, and I am not talking about the hair pulling kind.
I am talking about punching and kicking and slapping. I am confident enough in myself to be physical.

That's me. It means NOTHING about you.

In that setting, you don't have to be physical, be VOCAL.

Turn and say loudly "Please do not touch me like that"
Or "Do not do that, that is inappropriate"
Or very loudly "Please back OFF"
"Do not touch me like that"

During the Presidential Debates, my friends and I kept waiting for Ms Clinton to turn and say something to Trump, something like "Are you lost? Your podium is over there, do you need help finding it?
Or just a simple "Please back off while I am speaking"
Sadly, predators use our civilized manors against us.

You are a beautiful woman who dresses and acts in a civilized manor, and I am not. That's what makes us each fun to know.

I realize I am making this about myself again and I apologize. This entry is much more stream of consciousness than I normally write.

Seek out self defense education and training for women.
It is there, and will improve your chances in reacting next time some animal tries something. What works to fend off a man will work to fend of another woman.
Remember, freezing is a survival instinct in the presence of a predator, ingrained in our DNA.
It's hard to overcome.

You are not alone.

Please seek help.

Linda

__________________
"I wondered, am I a lesbian, am I straight, or bisexual? Then I realized that I am just a slut.
So where's MY parade?"

---Margaret Cho

hi stella, I hope things are going better for you.

More than once I have been told that I can be very uncivilized, especially when stressed. Or cornered.

i.e. Don't mess with the short chick.

issed:

__________________
"I wondered, am I a lesbian, am I straight, or bisexual? Then I realized that I am just a slut.
So where's MY parade?"

---Margaret Cho

I'm sorry

Dear Stella,
I hope you found a solution meanwhile and you could deal with it.

A lot of years ago I experienced a similar situation with an older guy living in the same house that I was living in.
We sat together in his living room on the sofa and during our talk he was approaching to constantly touch my arm and playing around. I was, like you, completely paralyzed, not able to react in any way... I must say, I am an absolute hetero, and gay stuff is something of a different world to me.
The following days I literally felt sick thinking about that evening. Finally I wrote him a letter telling him that I didn´t want to see him again.
This strategy worked and everything went better.

To make it short, let me tell you, you do not have to feel guilty in any way. Guilty of what?
You know what you want and what you don´t. The problem from my point of view was that you were not able to defend yourself, because you were not prepared for a situation like this. If you work on your self-defence and self-assurance, you are on the right way.

__________________
If every material thing is gone, my smile and my tears stay left.

Good advice, GermanSteve and it's good to see you. Missed seeing your posts.