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  #1  
Old 12-22-2017, 06:14 PM
stella1976 stella1976 is offline
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What happened I feel has traumatized me so much.Please tell me am I overreacting?I ca

Ok this is going to be a long post..I am a 41year old woman what is wrong with me?I feel like an absolute useless, worthless, colossal failure. I am feeling so sad. I am truly lost.I canít believe I am posting something so personal as I am a very private person, but this is so upsetting to me I donít think I can discuss this verbally with anyone without bursting into tears.I came here hoping someone can give me some advice, or even some words of comfort. Maybe my feelings on this are silly on the scale of things.
I am 5ft10 foot tall and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE!
The other day I was in a mall with my daughter and this little boy pointed at me and said something like: ďGush mom, look at her, she is giant!!!Ē.I am a 41year old 5ft10 tall heterosexual curvy hourgllass shaped attractive brunette.I I like dressing well, and looking presentable. I donít dress slutty at all. My boobs are 32 f bra size though and I do have a big butt. My hourglass shape is unique and i am tall, and I appreciate that.If you are curvy, tall and busty, many clothes tend to look sexier on you than on a thin person. So things that fit properly that are relatively conservative can be suddenly too revealing and sexy when you put it on. This happens to me a lot.I wear almost always my satin and silk blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a satin skirt or satin pants. I prefer wearing satin pants and a little shorter satin skirts, always above knees, sometimes even quite much, but not any miniskirts anyway. I am always on high heels and full make up on.I am always in tight form fitting satin and silk clothes. I am a stylish person.I usually stay away from anything too revealing.I am describing myself because i want you to know the complexity of the situation.On september 22 this year i attended women entrepreneurs conference in the neighboring town.This skinny really short like 5ft3 ugly wrinkled face thin lips creepy green eyes grayhaired masculine woman in her late 50s approached me and introduced herself.She said that she is local bookstore owner.I was wearing my pink satin short sleeve bow blouse my black satin pencil skirt and my pink 6inch high heels shoes.Than she said that she likes to caress satin fabric and that silk and satin is so smooth to the touch when rubbing.Than she started rubbing my back with her right hand while talking to me about the conference.Than i sat on the chair the conference started and she sat on the chair behind me and began rubbing my back. I felt awkward.She then began furthering her reach and casually brushed across my rib cage/side boob. I thought it was an accident, then she did it again and left her hand there and leaned in to whisper something about the conference.She kept rubbing my back then leaned in and stopped at the same spot and said something else. And that happened a few times.She began fully brushing the sides of my breasts.While she was standing talking her hands were resting on my shoulders.Her hands were practically constantly on me during the conference.The conference ended and while i was talking to two other women she walked up to me and said Ēuuuu i love your blouseĒand she started rubbing my back with her left hand and with her right hand rubbing my whole front side concentrating on my breasts.She was explaining to the other women that she just canít resist touching and stroking satin fabric.They were totally weirded out.Than she said to me ďYou are so tall and big and softĒI was literally frozen.I just stood there not saying a word.Later while i was talking to one panelist she was behind me rubbing and caressing my ass with her right hand.Later in the hallway she hugged me from behind placing her hands on my breasts and cupped my breasts , squeezing gently for like 5 minutes.While i was walking to my car she was walking behind me with her hands on my ass talking to me about the conference.She was resting her hands on my butt.She had her arm around me from behind and was just cupping one of my boobs. I tried to walk fast but i was on 6inch high heels.I was just standing and sitting there letting it happen.i wass like frozen to the ground and paralyzed.Suddenly, i was unable to speak coherently.I wass going ďummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmĒ Ē errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrĒ for ages and ages.That happened to me three months ago but i am still so embarrassed by the whole thing. Iím embarrassed that this weird short skinny masculine stranger woman was touching me and groping me so intimately in front of more than 50 other women and I did nothing about it.I amphysically stronger than her.I am 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy.She is like 5ft3 tall skinny.I was on 6inch high heels she was in sneakers.Standing next to me she looked like a midget.I am a 41year old woman what is wrong with me. I am a weak spineless person.Why would I scream my head off if a man did it but I canít verbalize a succinct ďNOĒ to this short skinny mature pervert lesbian.I didnít say anything or tell her to stop.I couldnít talk normal.I couldnít get words out of my mouth.I was like totally paralyzed while she was touching me and groping me.Mouth was open but no words came out of it.I am so confused about what happened to me!Whether or not it is my fault or not!I feel so ashamed.I feel so foolish and used by this pervert hideous short skinny mature total stranger woman.Other women at the conference were weirded out but they ignored that and said/did nothing as if nothing was happening.I think that the women were in shock themselves,maybe they thought we knew each other?Unfortunately some people donít like to get involved if they feel uncomfortable or threatened or not sure what is going on.I am physically stronger than this short skinny mature woman,standing next to me she looked like a midget but i was totally paralyzed while she was touching me rubbing me and groping me.It was like i went into Ďfreezeí mode when she started touching me.I just was in shock.What happened I feel has traumatized me so much.Please tell me am I overreacting?I was totally paralyzed and numb while she was touching me and groping me.I was just sitting and standing there kind of awkwardly.I was like frozen, detached and numb while she was touching me and rubbing me.Afterwards when i got home I started breathing hard, my legs got weak, and my heart started to race really fast.I have never felt such shame or degradation like this in my life.I am so consumed with guilt.I didnít tell my husband about this.I was to ashamed.Also I canít talk to my husband about this because he is extremely jealous and possessive.He is going to blame me.
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  #2  
Old 12-23-2017, 04:29 AM
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dicksbro dicksbro is offline
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I'm not a counselor or anything like that so will not even try to tell you how to deal with this emotionally ... for that, you should talk to a Dr. or professional counselor. This person who was involved in molesting you should be reported to security folks at the conference (no doubt too late for that) or to the police. I'm sure a female detective could be made available to take your story. If she's doing this to you, I suspect she's doing it to others. That just has to stop. That was back in September you said and so I don't know if she could still be found or dealt with but at least the police would have her profile on record. If you are a person with faith, I would also suggest talking to your clergy if you have trust in them. They may be able to help. Not sure I can offer additional suggestions. I just hope that in some small way they may give you ideas on avenues you could pursue to help ease the stress you feel. Not being female makes it difficult for me to relate and so these may not be ideas you feel comfortable with. Please, do seek some more professional assistance. A site such as this, in my opinion, is not the ideal place to seek guidance in such personal and troubling areas, especially from people who really don't know you. These are just my thoughts.
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  #3  
Old 12-23-2017, 02:33 PM
stella1976 stella1976 is offline
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Originally Posted by dicksbro
I'm not a counselor or anything like that so will not even try to tell you how to deal with this emotionally ... for that, you should talk to a Dr. or professional counselor. This person who was involved in molesting you should be reported to security folks at the conference (no doubt too late for that) or to the police. I'm sure a female detective could be made available to take your story. If she's doing this to you, I suspect she's doing it to others. That just has to stop. That was back in September you said and so I don't know if she could still be found or dealt with but at least the police would have her profile on record. If you are a person with faith, I would also suggest talking to your clergy if you have trust in them. They may be able to help. Not sure I can offer additional suggestions. I just hope that in some small way they may give you ideas on avenues you could pursue to help ease the stress you feel. Not being female makes it difficult for me to relate and so these may not be ideas you feel comfortable with. Please, do seek some more professional assistance. A site such as this, in my opinion, is not the ideal place to seek guidance in such personal and troubling areas, especially from people who really don't know you. These are just my thoughts.

Thank you i am feeling so lost.Thanks you for reading this.I feel completely used and humiliated by this total stranger woman.I know this may sound like Iím overreacting, but I genuinely felt violated.I was practically hand raped by this pervert weird short skinny mature ugly total stranger woman.It was probably the most humiliating experience of my life. I just felt so powerless.Iím so terriby deeply humiliated by her.People often think i am stuck up arrogant and a bit of a snob when i am NOTHING like that at all,i have also been told that i think i am better than everyone else.People are saying to me that i look very serious, arrogant, and stuck up.People have told me that they always thought I was stuck up or that I thought I was too good for everyone else.I hate that so muchÖ.especially because the total opposite is true.Well, this never happened to me before, until now. I am 41year old woman.It was probably the most humiliating experience of my life.I was totally numb while she was touching me.I have no desire to do anything sexual with a women.I am 100% straight.Iíve never had any desire to do anything sexual with a female. In all honest just thinking about possibly kissing a female makes me cringe.Iím posting this here since the incident was mildly traumatic for me even though I definitely wasnít raped but i really think I was sexually assaulted. I just kind of want some thoughts or advice from people and donít want to talk about it with people I know.I just kind of want to hear opinions or advice or something from someone.Thanks.I donít have an issue with lesbians doing what they do and i donít dislike them as people.I am not homophobic.Iíve been having this feeling of having been violated and I think I have been because this awful pervert woman just walked all over my boundaries.It is a very horrible feeling.I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself.Iím confused and my mind doesnít stop. I really worry that Iím going to lose myself completely! I don want to waste anyoneís time but I had to get some of this out of my head.What is wrong with me? Is this a normal reaction to getting attackedÖto disappear into your head and go limp or rigid? Iíve never heard anyone say they did this and Iím so ashamed that I couldnít even say no or push this pervert hideous short skinny mature total stranger woman away. I have large boobs, and all men like to tell me about them. Men talk about them a lot, but no man ever dares to touch them. If he did I would tell him to ###$ off. If he did I would scream. If he did I might even report it.Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative. I tower over plenty of men and women. I love my height and my curvy stature. I love satin and silk clothes and dressing up too. I am always in high heels with hair and makeup done. Thatís just who I am.I love dressing up, Iíve tried dressing down, but I always end up changing. My clothes are there to be worn!People always ask me why Iím so dressed up.I always like to dress on my best, because I also feel great when Iím dressed pretty. Once, iíd been to the hairdressers and was off to do a little shopping afterwards and the girl at the salon asked where i was going looking so glamorous Ė i said i was going shopping and she was like ďreally? You look so glammed up to be going shopping!Ē I donít mind though, iíd rather be wearing something i feel good in than look like i just rolled out of bed.I donít want to talk about it with my friends or people I know.I wanted to share this i am to ashamed.I donít think I can discuss this verbally with anyone.If i meet this pervert woman i am going to put a lot of distance between the two of us.What if i freeze again?I donít want to go to the neighboring town because of this awful woman.I am so confused about what happened to me!Whether or not it is my fault or not!I feel so ashamed.It is all my fault. I let that woman walk all over me.Iím physically stronger.I let that weird woman get away with so much.I was totally paralyzed.I am scared to see a therapist.I am terrified that I wont be able to even tell the therapist whats wrong with me.Please be brutally honest.I suppose Iím asking the question as to whether I give off subconsicous ďplease come take advantage of meĒ signals because it was scary how easily she started touching me.And this woman is short and skinny in her late 50s.I am physically stronger than her.Standing next to me she looked like a midget.That awful woman ruined me.I was totally paralyzed.I just collapsed into myself.I feel so humiliated.It was like i went into Ďfreezeí mode when she started touching me.I just was in shock.What happened I feel has traumatized me so much.Please tell me am I overreacting?
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Old 01-01-2018, 11:49 AM
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Thank you for being so open. I agree with DBs advice. That being said, please know that you didn't do anything wrong and that such shocking behavior by that other woman was something that would catch anyone off guard, especially as you never expected such a thing and never had that happen to you.

Hoping you heal mentally, and soon.

rabbit
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Old 01-05-2018, 02:59 PM
stella1976 stella1976 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rabbit
Thank you for being so open. I agree with DBs advice. That being said, please know that you didn't do anything wrong and that such shocking behavior by that other woman was something that would catch anyone off guard, especially as you never expected such a thing and never had that happen to you.

Hoping you heal mentally, and soon.

rabbit

Should I tell my husband? I want to tell him but Im afraid that he might get mad at me or something.I need someone to talk to.I just want someone to talk to. I donít really know who.I understand that Iím being a wimp.It seems as though she targeted me from the very beginning.I am physically stronger than her.I am 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy.She is like 5ft3 tall skinny.I was on 6inch high heels she was in sneakers.Standing next to me she looked like a midget but she was not intimidated by me.Why?
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Old 01-06-2018, 05:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stella1976
Should I tell my husband? I want to tell him but Im afraid that he might get mad at me or something.I need someone to talk to.I just want someone to talk to. I donít really know who.I understand that Iím being a wimp.It seems as though she targeted me from the very beginning.I am physically stronger than her.I am 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy.She is like 5ft3 tall skinny.I was on 6inch high heels she was in sneakers.Standing next to me she looked like a midget but she was not intimidated by me.Why?


Without knowing your husband it would be difficult for any of us to offer advice on that question. I do know this: no matter what you should speak to your doctor about a referral to a professional who can help you to cope with what happened.
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Old 01-09-2018, 06:09 PM
stella1976 stella1976 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rabbit
Without knowing your husband it would be difficult for any of us to offer advice on that question. I do know this: no matter what you should speak to your doctor about a referral to a professional who can help you to cope with what happened.

I canít verbally talk about it because I have really bad anxiety. I canít tell anyone reallyÖI feel trapped.I keep trying to tell myself I can handle this but really I donít know.Iím really ashamed.This is all so confusing.
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