One story I have is that my lady and I were making love outside once on a nice summer night. I was so turned on. We were "talking dirty" to one another cuz I think that's soooo hot. In the heat of the moment, I whispered to her, "I want you inside me." (I meant to say "I want to be inside you.")

I once went for a walk with my ex. We wandered off the main path well out of site, but ended up on quite a steep hill.

One thing led to another and we started to make love.... her skirt up... my jeans down.

Trouble is... the grass was wet with the morning dew. as I slid down, full sex was briefly oral sex and then i was too far down. Several more attempts proved briefly unsuccessful.

As if this wasn't enough, on our final attempt, it turned out that there was a road on the other side of the valley. A fact we discovered when a bus went past.... a two deck bus with the top deck well over the top of the stone wall.

I'm suprised they didn't hold up score boards and award us points out of ten, lol.

Alan

The dog scratching at the bedroom door got me laughing one time.... imagining him saying "hey, what's going on in there"

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~Tainted Love~

Once me and an ex were going at it at his place, and his sisters dog decided my panties were a chew toy, while we were too busy to notice. So, we finished and both busted out laughing at the site of the dog in the corner chewing on em. Needless to say, I didn't want them back, so I just let the dog keep his new found toy

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Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part. Aimee Mullins

It's just human. We all have the jungle inside of us. We all have wants and needs and desires, strange as they may seem. If you stop to think about it, we're all pretty creative, cooking up all these fantasies. it's like a kind of poetry. Diane Frolov


How to get an "A"
I Love Guys With Accents
Nurse ~ Patient Story
Yes Sir
An Old Story of Mine
3 Guys & 1 Girl ~ Sounds like fun right
A New Short Story
Punishment Story

My wife and I used to be pretty adventurous. Lying in bed one night she asked if I felt like a blowjob, and who am I to turn down oral pleasures. She says how about we go out to the front porch. At this time we lived on a pretty busy street, right across the street from an apartment complex and less than a block from a University. She's just getting down to business when my brother, who was living with us at the time comes hopping out the front door, and says "you guys couldn't sleep either? I'm going to the Quik Trip for a pop you want anything?" I manage a no, and off he goes. The wife rolls over, and I pull up my boxers. Less than five minutes later my brother comes back up the front steps, and the wife and I can't contain our laughter. You could see the understanding dawning on his face, then he said "I interupted something didn't I". I just said yeah, and he told us he thought she was just resting her head in my lap.

More years ago than i care to remember, i met a very very dear lady friend. Despite being banned from going upstairs in th ehouse where she was staying... we naturally did... after all.... no reason why anyone would ever find out.

And so it was that the second i was in her room, i planted my lips on hers and some seriously hot kissing took over. Then wandering hands under her top.... then her top off and my lips decending to her breasts.

As my fingers fumbled with the button to her jeans i suddenly felt her tense. I whirled round.... and there... just through the window.... was the next door neigbour staring at us while trying to mend his TV ariel. Well, we both just threw ourselves down on the floor laughing. It didn't last long though because at that moment someone returned to the house leaving us trapped upstairs.

In the end, she dressed, went downstairs and made conversation while i slipped quietly away.

I still don't know if next door ever told on us.

Alan

ya know the game where when you fart in another's company, you must say/touch a doorknob(or do some other juvinile activity) or suffer a dead arm?

that is the funniest thing that ever happened to me during sex.

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

Um...nooooooooooooo? Can't say as I ever heard that one! ROFLMFAO@the mental pic I have now though!

Oh geezzzzzzzzzzzzz...wtf do ya mean by "dead arm"?


Hey! I gotta know!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

I want to know about the "dead arm", too. There's a whole lotta farting going on in this household (we've got kids... yeah, that's it) and this is a game I've not heard of. Yet!

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Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN


It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
~Tom Stoppard~


It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
~George Burns~


As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem.
~A. DiFranco~

Many years ago, my then boyfriend and I had decided we were alone enough on a secluded part of the English coastline to have a little outdoor fun on the beach.
We spent quite alot of time kissing and touching, but sure enough things went further and we ended up having a good 'shag' on the beach in the middle of the day.
Our clothes and things were scattered around us on the sand, and neither of us had realised that a dog had run off with one of my shoes , until the very kind owner walked up to us - shoe in hand - us still naked and passionately making love - and said "I'm sorry to bother you, but I have to get home for dinner and I've waited as long as I could without disturbing you - I just wanted to return this to you as my dog appears to have run off with it!"
My boyfriend just turned around and said "thanks mate" and carried on his merry way. I am so glad that the most the poor man could see of me from the position we were in was just my backside LOL

I still get a flush of embarassment rush to my face when I think of it now!

Lorri

nope. unless not having it is funny.

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hungry? why wait.....eat me.

dead arm/dead leg~noun~the result of a knuckle punch* directly to the button that sits between the two muscles on your upper arm (or thigh), immediatley paralizing the offended limb. the pain is excruciating yet you can swing it around like a slapstick prop.

doorknob is a terrifically adolescant game. if you fart, and someone hears it, you must say doorknob AND touch a doorknob. the person within earshot of your offending flatulence may deliver you a dead arm until you accomplish both. if there is no doorknob, your fate is dire indeed.

*(knuckle-punch~noun~a viciously nasty close-fisted strike where the knuckle of the middle finger juts out from the fist)

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

^^that makes me sound like a sadist

there was no punching during the sex. it's just that he farted and then actually said doorknob ... as if i might be contemplating punching him. then we both disolved into snorting giggles. needless to say, sex was suspended for a little while.

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

i thought you were gonna say you got farted on the first time you tried 69 and had to ask if you should expect another 68 of them, lol

yes actually with my ex partner.
Him and I were in the midlle of a fantastic sex session, we were at the part were it was 69er time. Well we were in the middle of doing our stuff and he had just let out a enormous fart on my face, and to make things worse there was a little spray aswell.... YUK