Well...I suppose that since it's been a few years since I contributed, SO...

21. Sometimes the stress of single parenthood gets to me, and I feel extremely guilty I am not able to be everything my children need me to be and still maintain my sanity.

22. Sometimes I feel I am winning my self-esteem battle, but most of the time I'm on the losing team.

23. I have missed being at Pixies more than I ever thought I would, but it was good for me to be away for awhile anyway.

24. I hope in the next year that I can resume working on my ever-elusive degree, perhaps starting to work part-time to finish it more quickly. It's more for self-satisfaction than anything.

25. I continue to be very angry with my body for my diabetes. Intellectually I know that the things I do (or, in some cases, don't do) are a form of self-punishment and that I need to let that go, but it's very difficult, and I am still struggling to put those emotions to rest.

__________________


"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

11) I am married with two kids, 10 and 7. I love being a dad.
12) I have few regrets but those that I have are so painful that they will haunt me for the rest of my life.
13) I have a horrible fear of failure.
14) I am a daydreamer.
15) I am a Catholic and attend church regularly, though not weekly.
16) I will be learning a new language (Japanese), starting next month.
17) I have a very low resistance level when it comes to sexual temptation.
18) My brother is a musician. My dad was a musician on the side. I have not one shred of musical talent in my body.
19) I believe God has a plan for me, but I don't yet know what it is.
20) I have had a supernatural experience before.

1. I drank 24/7 for 25 years....but I have been sober since Nov. 21,2003
2. I am divorced
3.I have two sons,19 and 22
4.I have a 5 year old grandson!!!!
5.I am bipolar/manic depressive...which is under control...thank God.
6.My gf and I have been together since '96....I love her.
7.Dad died when I was 15...Mom is 76, in "ok" shape...but a stubborn Irish Catholic girl nonetheless!!
8.I still haven't found what I'm looking for
9.I can listen to music for hours...doin' nothin'
10.Perhaps I'll go to Mass Christmas Eve.......it's been awhile.

OK - a little bump up from cavegirl and a few facts about me that you won't know...

1. I have two university degrees. A BA (hons) in Literature and Creative Writing and a PGCE Cert. Ed. to teach English Language, Literature and Creative Writing to Adults over 16.

2. I've written a sitcom, two plays and am working on a novel at the moment. All three unpublished at the moment, but am working on it

3. I play classical, electric and acoustic guitar.

4. I have an upright piano, which I cannot play yet.

5. I love comedy - particularly British stuff, like Victoria Wood, The League of Gentlemen and The Royle Family.

6. I used to sing when I was younger and wanted to do it professionally, would still like to one day - my musical heroes are Maddy Prior and Sandy Denny.

7. I am very interested in history and genealogy and started to research my family tree last year - I've so far got back to 1699 on one branch and found that I have ancestors from Northern and Southern Ireland, America and Germany.

8. I work part time in a voluntary capacity for my local genealogy society looking up and sorting out the death registers for my local community - which is grimly fascinating.

9. I have recently sold my car because I can't drive it - because of number 10

10. I suffer from quite severe and disabling OCD and BDD, with very severe depression and anxiety, plus an eating disorder. I have a very bad body image and very low self esteem, I cannot work at the moment and am currently waiting to receive treatment for my problems - but will have to wait for at least another 8 months. I am very alone in the world and have few friends or people who understand me. My OH also has OCD and suffers from ADHD. We make a right pair, but at least we have each other. Sometimes.

((cavegirl))

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Another soul that belongs at Pixies ((((((((((cavegirl))))))))).

Another hug for cavegirl ... (((((( HUGS ))))))!

and some more from me too (((((((((((((((cavegirl)))))))))))))))

__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

Welcome to the couch CG.


11. I just celebrated my one-year anniversary with this company, and I still don't know if I made the right decision. It's not better or worse than my last job...just different.

12. Holidays feel incredibly unremarkable for me, and I worry that my kids feel it too. It's usually a letdown and I wind up feeling like a bad parent.

13. Mrs. WI is diabetic and that doesn't mix well with my enabling personality. She has little willpower and I aim to please. And I love carbs.

14. I always drive the speed limit. Even got pulled over because of it once...I guess going exactly the speed limit makes the po-po suspicious.

15. I still hate the cold.

16. I hold back with a lot of things. And I don't know if it's because I'm afraid of failing, or if I'm afraid of succeeding.

17. I've always known that I love Mrs. WI more than she loves me.

18. I only make time for myself once a year. I feel guilty leading up to it, and never regret it afterwards, but don't ever use that as a catalyst for change.

19. I see beauty in things all around me.

20. My parents don't want to live in CT anymore because of the cost of living but are waiting for me to move out so they can follow. They bring home house magazines from every state they visit and tell me all about how great other places are. Why is it up to me? I feel a bit overwhelmed, like I'm treading water and my arms are getting tired.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

I'll just try to pick up where I left off before.

13. I'll be taking a trip to California in just over a month to see my parents. Haven't seen them since July of 2003 and I can't wait. And I also cannot explain how excited I am about where I'm going when I leave my folks' place.

14. Three weeks or so ago I was having nightmares about my dead father. Hadn't really thought about him in years. I decided that I needed some closure so I went and visited his grave. It didn't go as I expected........ I wasn't as angry as I thought I'd be. The nightmares stopped though.

15. Kept this one pretty much to myself but about two months ago I made perhaps the biggest decision in my life. I was offered the opportunity to undergo a lung transplant. It's something I had wondered about for much of my life. It isn't a cure for cystic fibrosis but it could possibly make my quality of life better. Well, I wrestled with it for about a month before finally seeking the help of a friend. To be honest, I always thought my mind was made up as to what I would do if ever the opportunity presented itself but when it finally did, I was sort of lost. The trip to the hospital to give the doctors my decision was only about an hour drive but it felt as if it lasted for about a week. I honestly didn't know what my answer to them would be until I set foot in the hospital that morning.

My mind flashed to just one sentence from what must have been about two hours of discussion on the phone with my friend and something they said made it easy for me to come to my decision. I won't go any further into it because it is pretty personal but I did turn down the transplant. And I'm very happy with my decision, it was the correct one to make. I have no regrets about it.

Thank you so very much to that friend, I am very much at ease with my life right now.

Fifteen seems to be a nice place to stop, don't ya think?

__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

Ok i hate this thread but i am doing it.

1. i have an anxiety disorder that is under control at the moment. when not in control i have major panic attacks that leave me a wreck

2. i love being a mom to my adopted daughter Aeryn. I think its always something i was meant to do.

3.I grew up in tucson and moved to philly about 10 + years

4. my dad has been gone 20+ years but continues to visit. last visit was when we brought my daughter home from china.

5. my mom is 70 and is in and suffers from dementia.i have put it in Gods hands but its really sucks as she was so vital.

6. I have two sisters that we are now very close

7. I met my spouse online and when my divorce from my ex was final he told me he was going to marry me. yes he is nuts.

8. i love history. i have been doing my families genealogy for awhile. its like a disease you catch. ugh

9. I have a few good friends that i am close to. I value them and consider them family. i

10. I am an IM addict. I love chatting to new folks

11. nothing irritiates me more than getting an message from someone that i don't know asking me if i want to cam online or play.. ARGH.

12. i love my hubby and he is my soulmate.

__________________
Frankly my dear i don't give a damn *Rhett Butler to Scarlett O'hara."


"Tomorrow is another day" Scarlette O'hara monologue..

socrates last words.. " i drank what?!"

((((((((((IowaMan)))))))))))))) you simply amaze me at times.

(((((((Eastern)))))))) sort of nice to get some things out huh?


And Soda........ ((((((((((((((Soda))))))))))))))))

__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

1. I just read thru this thread for the first time...& having a hard time believing I didn't look in on this before, or that my fellow pixies could be so open about themselves. (I think I may have missed this before because it appears to have started when I had to take a "sabbatical" from Pixies due to major life crisis...more on that below, maybe)
2. I lost my only brother & both parents within a 6-year period (1992-1998)...all of them to some form of heart disease.
3. Almost 5 years after my mother died, I discovered I wasn't the only one left after all...my half-sister called me, revealing that my mother had her at 17 & gave her up for adoption. She was happy with her life with her adopted family, but was just overwhelmed with curiousity to know more about her biological family. We discovered together that we all may be more about our genes than people want to believe, she is in many ways more like the mother she never met, physically & emotionally as well. Me, I still have a few issues that Mama shared many things I didn't know about her during her final years, but never saw fit to let me in on her darkest secret (that she had to know might come back later)...to say I was gobsmacked at this revelation doesn't even begin to cover it...
4. As a child, I was redheaded with freckles & was chubby & non-atheletic, & was teased mercilessly about it...having an Irish short fuse probably means I gave them the reaction they wanted, & compounded the situation. To this day, I detest bullying in any form. Which sort of brings me to...
5. I have always had a hard time watching movies or TV shows where people are helplessly bullied...I get really angry inside, my BP goes sky high, & sometimes I have to leave the room to avoid lashing out at someone I shouldn't.
6. My brother was 7 years older than I, I knew I was an "accident" early on...my mother confessed that my brother was such a handful, they really didn't plan to do it again, but that I was never unloved because of it, & I do believe I had a loving (if somewhat dysfuntional) upbringing. With all that, you might think I try to avoid spacing my own children at such a wide interval; you would be wrong
7. In 2003, I was diagnosed with diabetes after developing a painful urinary tract infection that wouldn't go away on its own. A few months later I lost my last job (I admit I knew my career track was coming to an end anyway). Shortly after that, I developed severe back problems, eventually leading me to apply for SS disability, which finally started paying around Aug. last year. At year's end, I felt compelled to let my family know that I appreciated having them there thru that year in Hell.
8. Maybe a more postive note, I developed a love of music at a very early age (thanks to that older brother, who turned me on to R&B and Rock before I was even a kindergardener)...my ambition was be a rock star someday, of course it didn't happen, but I still play with a band of other old farts like myself, & still get that buzz when we do play in front of a crowd, kinda like jumping into the bath with a plugged-in toaster...
9. My father's 47th birthday was exactly one week before I was born.
10. After my mother died, I found their marriage certificate, which revealed that she was pregnant with my brother when they got hitched...hmm, Im beginning to see a pattern here

__________________
Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

(((scotzoidman)))))

__________________
Frankly my dear i don't give a damn *Rhett Butler to Scarlett O'hara."


"Tomorrow is another day" Scarlette O'hara monologue..

socrates last words.. " i drank what?!"