Ok, I just got out of the psych ward earlier today. Here's the story behind it (and one that only 2 other Pixie's do know about (and thank you, thank you, thank you a million times for helping out Lizzardbits!!!!).

I suffer from very bad depression. Usually, I'll have an episode and am able to find ways to work through it. However, this last Sunday, things got to a point where I couldn't handle things anymore (and thus, another aspect of my mental illness, suicidal thoughts, reared its head yet again). It has happened once before this bad, and that time (back in 2002, iirr) required an overnight visit to the psych ward. This time, I had the notes almost written and a plan in place, but at the last minute I called a friend in to read the note I had intended for her. Then proceed to call another friend (who hadn't realized things were quite as bad as they were, apparently I hide things way too well) and let her know I was headed to the hospital.

I spent 2 nights in the psych wards, I've been put on new anti-depressants (I had quit taking mine 5 years ago, due to the loss of insurance and lack of money to pay for them myself and the feeling that I really didn't need them anymore). I've also been put on a sleep aid, which should also help.

Right now I'm enjoying my time outside again, and have things in the works to get insurance through my state and information enough so that in the future I'll have things in place to help pay for the meds (fortunately, one is on Wal-Marts $4 med list). I'll also being going back to a conciller (sp?) and I have several support people who know exactly how bad things were for me and are working with me to make sure things never get this bad for me again.


Next up, after I get my insurance is a doctor visit to see how bad my back is getting again (it seems my back is going again for the 3rd time, 2 surgeries already). The depression, the extreme back problems, and the insoimnia are all tied together, and since I've got 2 of the problems worked on, it's time to go for the third. I'm also looking at disability, at least for some time, just to get back on me feet and completely healthy again, as all these health issues have made it practically impossible for me to work.

I'll update when I can, and I'm sure Lizzardbits will pass on news if she can when she gets any

__________________
To those that understand, I extend my hand. To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am!