It doesn't come natural to me. I'm not the type to defer my opinions or with-hold my suggestions. I know this surprises you all

So I'm being "supervised" currently and the ladies are terrific. They are receptive to me and share their space and their knowledge with me. But I don't do submissive well and I fear my independent nature will appear abrasive.

Do you guys have any advice or suggestions on subtle ways to speak my mind without coming off cock-sure? So far, so good but I'm stuck in a situation where I am interning in a field I've worked in for 10 years before. These women are wonderful and have a lot to teach me but having done these type of things in the past, there are some things I know how to do and like doing the way I do. When I speak to them regarding those things I don't want to come off like I'm suggesting I know more, just that I've already developed in those areas.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

I often preface my suggestions with the following phrases...

"Have you ever thought about...."
"Would you be willing to..."
"Have you ever tried.....? How did it work?"
"I'd like your thoughts on..."

Sometimes these get transparent, but people appreciate the courtesy nonetheless.

Just make sure to listen to their responses. It helps to build credibility.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

IMO...

I would be honest. Go to them and tell them you want to talk about something that you are struggling with (appearing to need thier suggestions here would be good). Let them know what you are feeling, and how you DON'T want to appear or come off as if you know it all already. Let some of your frustration show when you tell them this and ask them how they would like you to approach them with your opinion, suggestions, or the knowledge you have gained thru your previous experiences. Tell them that sometimes you struggle with being a follower rather than a leader and that is your weakest strength in some situations. (I like using weakest strength together in an education setting.. it is a positive more than a negative). This way, if they offer their suggestions as to how you can offer them suggestions (lol) then when you do lead you can thank them for giving you the opportunity to do so and thank them for helping you find a way to express yourself from their suggestions...



Did that make any sense? LOL

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

Yes...I think you said kiss ass and lie

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

LOL.. in a nice way of course..

I'm not good at kissing ass, as I prefer to be on the receiving end.

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Agree with Osuche...a non-threatening way to offer suggestions/ideas while also saying "Hey, I'm still learning".

I don't think that I could give you any advice...partly because you've already gotten some good suggestions here...and partly because I seem to have the exact opposite problem. I am by nature a very passive person and even though it doesn't really interfere with my independence, I must say that it makes things very difficult for me. Its not so much that I don't have my own opinions or that I'm afraid to voice them...its just that when I do, I'm usually horribly subtle. I wish I had it in me to take control of certain situations, but I find it extremely hard and often I just feel as though its forced, unnatural, or that i've embarassed myself. I just wanted to let you know that I admire your dominant personality and I'm sure that you'll find a way to avoid coming off as abrasive while still preserving your independent outlook

goodluck!

:grin: :grin:

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Someone please tell me the secret to accomplishing this!! :banner:

"Dear "

Perhaps find another opening for your e-mails?

























NAHHHH! :grin:

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I've found to always be respectful, no matter how goofy the supervisor seems is a good place to start. Don't come across like you have all the answers. Ask a lot of questions and eventually they will begin to ask you. Once you can get to that place where your ideas or opinions are sought from those above you, you can start to shine. Never a good idea to try and out-shine your mentor - they might see you as not being a team player. Best advice, bite your tongue and keep it firmly planted in your cheek even under the most trying of situations. Develop the relationship where you can give your ideas a whirl knowing they will be accepted as their equal. Good luck!!!