A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra. Eager to try it out, he
takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home
from work, but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open
on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them.

Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him
into the freezer to cool off.

Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is
hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the
freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily,
drained with sweat and totally exhausted.

"What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet
you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"

The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to pry the legs apart on
a frozen chicken?"

LMFAO

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don't tax my gig so hardcore, cruster.

human thought is so primitive, it's looked upon as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies. that kind of makes you proud, doesn't it?

LOL - - Good one ozfuzz,,,,,

You heard about the 90 year old who got Viagra and asked the doctor if the tablets could be cut into 1/4's since he'd only be taking a 1/4 tablet at a time.

The doctor very carefully explained how there wouldn't be much benefit from only 1/4 of a tablet.

The old gentleman said, oh no doc I don't want it for sex. I just want to get hard enough so I don't piss on my shoes if I'm standing up.

groan!!!!!!!! I'm sorry,,,,, bad joke,

Teddy

lmao,,,,,,,,,,,,pretty good one teddy bear!!!

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Rain: Liquid Sunshine!

Life's A Bitch, but I Deal withit!!

Thanks for the laugh....needed that on a rainy day.

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DAMN, YOU ARE A SEXY ONE-skipthisone

I beleive in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I beleive in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Kevin Costner/Bull Duram

"Your body as well as mine has needs. This is juat a little foreplay to highten our desire for each other. If we play out the game of love to it's natural conclusion, you'll experience fulfillment. Give yourself up to me and I'll guide you along the path to pareadise. Together we will be like fire and ice, love and hate, life and death." Virginia Henley

WANTED: a moment when you kiss someone and eveything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and this person and you relize that he is the only person your suppose to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. You want to laugh and you want to cry. Cause you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared it will all go away at the same time.

So why are they using so much Viagra at the old folks home?

To keep them from rolling out of bed at night.

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Not a joke but one of the best one liners I ever heard... Charlie, a friend of mine was grabbing a coffee at the machine in our office. I was behind him awaiting my turn to punch the buttons. I noticed ole Charles was wearing a neckbrace... I asked.. "What the hell gotta hold of you?" He just smiled and said "Nothing, I finally got some Viagra and that bastard Dr didn't tell me not to chew 'em up!" I still laugh at that one.

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Andy Rooney on Research:

Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast
implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's Disease research. It is
believed that by the year 2030 there will be a large number of people
wandering around with huge breasts and erections...who can't remember
what to do with them.

(hoping I never forget!! - - lol)
Teddy