The summer came and went much too fast for Mindy. She was frantic trying to get ready for another school year, and she found that she was very unprepared. She had neglected most of the things she typically did during the summer; she had failed to file last year’s paperwork, never cleaned her classroom out, hadn’t decorated for the new year. It couldn’t have been helped though. This was Shawn’s last summer here before heading off to the university, and she knew she had to take advantage of every moment she could with him. And though they had had a glorious summer together, she had always known that it was fleeting. That it would all be gone much to quickly.
And now it was. Looking at the clock in her empty classroom, she realized she had to leave this mess unfinished yet again. Right this minute the Murphy’s were loading up the mini-van with the last of Shawn’s stuff. She had promised Shawn that she would ride up to the university with him and his family to say good-bye. God this was going to be hard. She hated goodbyes.
When she arrived at the Murphy house everyone was loaded in the van and ready to go. Shawn had saved a spot for him and Mindy in the back of the van. They climbed in together. Shawn sat against the window and placed his arm around Mindy. She curled up in the crook of his arm.
It was a long ride up but Mindy was perfectly content to be in Shawn’s arms. She liked the feel of him beside her, the heat he gave off, his musky smell. Every now and again she’d realize this would be the last time, for a very long time, that he’d hold her like this, and she’d want to cry. As if sensing this Shawn would squeeze her a little tighter in his arms.
The mood in the van was one of melancholy. Even the wild, young Murphy’s were somber and quiet. Much to quickly for Mindy’s liking they arrived at the university. It took a little map reading to figure out where Shawn’s apartment was. Initially Shawn had toyed with the idea of living in the dorm as most freshmen and sophomores do. However, when it occurred to him that most underclassmen were 18 and 19 years old, he opted to find an apartment and a roommate more his age.
“All right Shawn, it looks like this is it,” Shawn’s Mom said from the front of the van. “Everyone out.”
At her command the various van doors opened and little Murphy’s scampered out. Mindy and Shawn crept out of the van. And together Mindy and Shawn surveyed their new surroundings.
“Well I should go meet my new roommate. Want to come?” Shawn asked Mindy.
“Nah. You go ahead, bring your Mom. I’ll watch the kids until you come back and we can start moving stuff in.”
Mindy figured Ms. Murphy would want some alone time with her eldest son.
It wasn’t long before Shawn returned with not only his Mom but his new roommate as well. Brian had walked up to Mindy and asked Shawn if she was his girl. Shawn answered yes, and put his arm around her. To Mindy’s relief he introduced her as Mindy, not Miss Blake. It was strange to hear her him call her by her Christian name. Throughout their sordid affair she had remained Miss Blake to Shawn. Miss Blake is what he called her in class, at dinner, while in her arms at night. Mindy liked the way her name sounded on his lips, but she was a little sad also, sad to acknowledge how things were changing between them.
The next few hours were spent lugging all of Shawn’s things up into his new home. Mindy found herself exhausted, and fatigued by the whole ordeal, and tried not to think to long or to hard about what she was doing. She was having a hard time helping the man that she cared about, the man that she wanted, the man that she needed, move away from her. Damn it, she didn’t want it to be this hard!
A few times she almost broke down and cried, almost broke down and begged Shawn not to do this. But she didn’t. She remained strong. She kept telling herself that he deserved this. Deserved a normal life experience like being a carefree college student.
And then they were done. Ms. Murphy and her children said their farewell to Shawn. Mindy saw the tears in Ms. Murphy’s eyes as she said goodbye to her son, and Mindy empathized with her. Ms. Murphy said they’d wait for Mindy in the van.
They were alone. She walked up to Shawn, and he took her in his arms.
“Oh God, Mindy, this is hard. I didn’t think this would be so hard,” Shawn said.
Mindy didn’t know how to respond, or how to say goodbye. She wracked her mind for the right words to say and found Charlotte Bronte’s:
There's no use in weeping,
Though we are condemned to part:
There's such a thing as keeping
A remembrance in one's heart:
There's such a thing as dwelling
On the thought ourselves have nursed,
And with scorn and courage telling
The world to do its worst.
We'll not let its follies grieve us,
We'll just take them as they come;
And then every day will leave us
A merry laugh for home.
When we've left each friend and brother,
When we're parted wide and far,
We will think of one another,
As even better than we are.
Every glorious sight above us,
Every pleasant sight beneath,
We'll connect with those that love us,
Whom we truly love till death!
In the evening when we're sitting
By the fire, perchance alone,
Then shall heart with warm heart meeting,
Give responsive tone for tone.
We can burst the bonds which chain us,
Which cold human hands have wrought,
And where none shall dare restrain us
We can meet again, in thought.
So there's no use in weeping,
Bear a cheerful spirit still;
Never doubt that Fate is keeping
Future good for present ill!
“So no sad goodbyes Shawn” Mindy said smiling up at him.
“Okay, Okay, you’re right,” Shawn said, laughing. ‘Beside I’ll be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas break”
“That’s right. And your parting assignment is to e-mail me everyday.” Mindy said with a giggle.
“HHMM…just in case, what’s the penalty for being late?” Shawn joked.
Mindy couldn’t help but laugh, but she did playfully give him a swat.
“Just kidding, just kidding. I’ve never missed an assignment, and I don’t intent to start.”
And then they kissed goodbye. It was everything a goodbye kiss should be, long and loving. Striving to impart all the passion that will be missed in each other’s absence.
Mindy stepped away from their kiss, “I should really go.”
Shawn pulled her back against him and kissed her again. She could feel that familiar heat start to rise inside of her.
“Shawn, I’ve got to go,” she said laughing.
“Just one more kiss,” and again his lips were on hers and she was melting in his arms.
“Shawn! Your Mom, she’s waiting for me.”
“Okay, Okay. You win.” He said releasing her gently from his embrace.
“Bye sweetie,” Mindy said squeezing his hand before she let it go.
She opened the door to the mini van, and sat down in the passenger seat next to Ms. Murphy.
I will not cry, I will not cry she told herself. They drove in silence, Mindy looking out the window, biting her lip.
“Mindy? Mindy dear.” Ms. Murphy said.
Mindy turned and look at her. She saw concern and warmth in her eyes.
“How far along are you?”
Mindy gasped, and involuntarily placed a hand on her stomach.
“Oh sweetie, I’m a Mom…I know these things.” And she reached over and squeezed her hand.
“4 months ma’am,” Mindy said blushing. It felt strange to actually be confiding her secret.
“Call me Carol, Mindy. I think we can be on a first name basis,"She smiled reassuringly. “Does he know?”
Mindy shook her head no.
“Will you tell him?”
“Yes. Well I’ll have to eventually won’t I?” It was certainly more of a question than a statement. “I….I just want him to have this, the experience of college. He deserves it”
“Yes, I suppose he does, she said, nodding in agreement. “I’m here for you. Know that.”
Mindy shook her head. She felt her fear lessen in the brightness of Carol’s smile.
“Am I going to have a grandson or a granddaughter?” Carol asked.
“A granddaughter. Her name is Pearl.” Mindy said. Placing her hands on her belly.
Pearl, as of being of great price,--purchased with all she had,--her mother’s only treasure.
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