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Chapter 07
When Jake arrived back home to Texas, everything seemed so empty. He opened the door to his parents' house and was immediately greeted by his mother. Sara Morgan stood up and ran to her son. Her hair was still in curlers and it seemed as if she had just gotten out of bed and her green eyes were puffy as if she had just finished crying.
"Jake! I'm so glad you're finally home!" She squealed throwing her arms around Jake.
Jake held her but his mind was elsewhere. "I missed you mom," he whispered.
Sara touched his face and kissed his cheek. "You hardly called here. We were worried about you!"
"I'm sorry…I was just…I got busy that's all."
"Too busy to call your momma huh?" She teased.
"I'm sorry mom."
"So tell me. How was your trip? Where in the world did you go?"
Jake took a deep breath and flopped down on the recliner putting his feet up on the lazy boy. "I….I went to Houston that's all. Just to visit some friends of mine that will be attending school up there."
Sara sat on the couch across from him. "Well I'm glad you had a good time honey."
Jake looked around for a moment. "Where's dad? At the church?" Tom Morgan was the town's reverend at a local church.
Her lower lip trembled and she burst into tears. "No. He's in the hospital."
Jake almost jumped out of his seat. "What? Why didn't you call me on my cell phone to tell me?"
Sara shrugged. "Well this just happened last night actually. I knew you'd be home today so I figured I didn't want to worry you while you drove."
"But mom, this is important! What happened to him?"
"Heart attack," she sobbed. Jake knew his father had heart problems. He had a mild heart attack a few years back when Jake was only 13 and he remembered what his father had gone through.
Jake gasped. "Oh my God! Well what did the doctors say?"
"It doesn't look so good, at least from what they can tell. He's got a clogged artery. They will need to do surgery, if it isn't successful…well you know….I've been praying for your father all night. I was about to go down to the hospital in an hour or so."
"Jesus! I'm going with you. Mom next time something like this happens I need to know. Just because I'm far away doesn't mean anything. I need to be here for things like this."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't want to worry you."
"He's my father and I love him. I do worry about him and you. Now get dressed so we can go see him."
* * *
An hour and a half later, Sara and Jake arrived at the hospital. They only had a few minutes with Tom, since he'd be going into surgery that afternoon. Jake went in the room with his mother and saw his father lying in the bed. He was staring up at the ceiling as if he was praying.
"Dad?" Jake said softly walking closer to his father.
Tom turned and his brown eyes met with his son. "Jake! My son! I'm glad you're here!" His voice was barely audible.
Jake sat next to his father and held his hand. "I am here and so is mom. We'll be here for you."
"I love you Jake. I might go this time."
Jake felt tears almost swelling from his eyes. "No don't say that."
Tom squeezed Jake's hand. "If I go, just promise to take care of your mother. She's going to need someone to care for her."
Jake nodded. "I promise dad."
Tom looked over at Sara who stood by Jake's side sobbing. "Sara? I love you honey."
Sara burst out crying and knelt by his side. "I love you too. I will always love you Tom. But you're going to be fine sweetheart. I know you will. Jake and I will pray for you."
"Excuse me, Mrs. Morgan?"
Sara turned wiping her tears and saw the nurse standing at the doorway. "Y-yes?"
"You only have a few more minutes then I do have to ask you wait in the waiting room. Mr. Morgan is about to go to surgery."
"Yes ma'am." Sara replied and turned to her husband once again. "We will wait for you Tom. I know you'll be Ok."
"Thank you. I love you both dearly." Tom replied quietly.
"I love you dad," Jake said as he stood up and slowly let got of his father's hand. He only hoped he would be OK. He had to be.
* * *
After four long hours of waiting, Jake and Sara got the news. The bad news. The doctor came to tell them the surgery was not successful and that Mr. Morgan had passed away. Jake felt his whole world shatter and comforted his mom. They cried for what seemed to be forever. They cried until they could no longer cry.
2 years later
Jake was at his sophomore year in college. It had taken him a while to decided to what study and then he realized what he wanted to do. After his father's death and being away from Lucinda, he had been quite depressed. He began to write a journal of his feelings and his life and realized he wanted to be a writer. He signed up for many English classes and enjoyed writing.
He lived in the dorms but would often go visit his mother in the weekends. Sara still worked at the church as a secretary, which was good. She needed to keep busy after the death of her loving husband.
Jake never once told his mother about Lucinda, he knew that eventually the time would come up. She'd always ask him if he was dating anyone and he'd say a few girls but it wasn't true. He didn't have a desire to date any other girls after having been with Lucinda. His true love.
* * *
"Yes I'm finally glad to be going. I'll be leaving in two days from now," Sara told Jake over the phone one night. Sara was going to take a small trip with the church up to New York for a conference. It was her first time taking a trip in a long time.
"I'm happy for you mom. You do sound a lot better too," Jake replied.
"You still have the luggage from when you took your road trip don't you?"
Jake tried to remember. It'd been 2 years and he recalled taking almost everything out of the suitcases. Memories of Lucinda just came rushing back to him making his heart break. "Yes I do. They should be in my room in the closet."
"I'm going to need to borrow your luggage since mine is a bit old. I hope you don't mind?"
"Not at all mom. Take it and have fun. Call me when you get there and when you get back please."
"I will honey. I love you."
"I love you too mom. Night."
Jake hung up the phone and stared up to the ceiling. He closed his eyes and saw Lucinda's face. Her beautiful face.
"I still love you with all of my heart Lucinda," Jake said to himself. He could still feel her kisses, the softness of her body and smell her scent. He missed her and there had been so many times that he wanted to just pick up the phone and call her and tell her. So many times had he wanted to send her flowers especially for Mother's Day. Two years had been an eternity now he needed to wait two more years until they met again. This was all so torturous.
* * *
Sara went up to Jake's room and searched in his closet for the luggage. She grabbed two big suitcases and placed them on the bed. She opened them up to make sure nothing was in them. There were two of Jake's t-shirts in there that looked as if they had never been worn and some papers. Sara folded the t-shirts and put them in Jake's closet. She looked over some of the papers and began to toss out the old gas receipts. She thought all the papers were receipts but then one particular paper caught her eye.
It was a small white sheet of paper that was folded up. Sara opened up the paper and her heart almost sank when she saw what it had. It was the name she knew. Lucinda Grant. It had Lucinda's name, address and phone number. Sara was puzzled. Had Jake ever called his biological mother?
She went on to look further. She saw a receipt for a hotel. The hotel was in Las Vegas. "You lied to me Jake," Sara said silently.
She knew Jake must have gone to Las Vegas and searched for Lucinda. {I}Had he ever found her? {/I} Sara wondered. She held the paper in her shaky hand and read the phone number.
Sara picked up the phone and dialed the number. It wasn't until four rings later that she heard a female voice.
"Hello?"
Sara wanted to speak and ask if that was in fact Lucinda Grant but something deep down told her it was. It had to be.
"Hello?" The female said again.
"S-sorry wrong number," Sara said in a panic and hung up the phone.
* * *
After Sara returned from her trip, she invited Jake over for the weekend. She would confront him about the whole thing. She didn't mind that he wanted to find his biological mother, but the fact that he couldn't be honest with her was what hurt.
Jake arrived later on that afternoon and Sara greeted her son with hugs and kisses. She cooked him up a nice dinner and they sat outside for a while sipping on coffee. Jake had told her about how his classes were going and how he would want to take summer school to try to finish faster.
"Do you know what newspaper you'd like to work for?" Sara asked curiously.
Jake shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe somewhere in Texas, Arizona or maybe even…Nevada."
Sara gulped. "I see. Why Nevada? It's too hot. I mean you complain how hot it is here but Nevada is really hot!"
"Yes I know but Vegas looks like a fun town."
Sara raised a brow. "Looks like a fun town or is a fun town?"
Jake looked puzzled. "I-I don't know mom. I've never been there."
She felt her heart breaking. Why did he have to keep lying to her? She stood up and walked into the house. Jake grabbed his cup of coffee and followed her. "Mom?" He looked around and Sara came back to the living room holding a piece of paper.
"I found this in your suitcase. You know when you supposedly took that road trip to Houston?"
Jake felt his heart sink. He could see his own writing on the paper that had Lucinda's name, address and phone number. "Mom…I-I …I'm sorry."
"Why did you have to lie to me Jake? I don't mind that you want to know your biological mother but why did you have to go sneaking behind our backs to do it. I could have arranged for her to come here and stay with us if you wanted me to."
"I know mom, but…it was just something I had to do on my own."
Sara crossed her arms. "So did you meet her?"
Jake knew there was no sense in lying. "Yes."
"And?"
"Well we met and hung out a few times. We went out to eat, dancing, and just talked.
"What's she like?" Sara asked quietly taking a seat on the couch.
"Well, she has a good job at a bank, she owns her own home and she's quite happy."
Sara looked puzzled. "Did she remarry? Have any kids?"
Jake looked down. "No. She's single."
"Is she the reason you would like a job in Nevada to keep her company?"
Jake took a deep breath. He needed to tell his mother everything He took a seat next to her on the couch and looked deeply into her eyes.
"Mom, I fell in love with Lucinda."
Sara's eyes widened and she was speechless.
"I'm sorry but I did. It just happened so fast. At first I wasn't even sure if she was in fact Lucinda Grant, my biological mother. But then once I found out it was too late. I had fallen for her."
Sara stood up and paced the room. "Jake…do…. you realize what you're saying?"
Jake nodded. "Yes."
"Jake that isn't right! Listen to you! What are you thinking?"
"Mom I know how you feel, but I can't deny the love I have for Lucinda."
"She is your real mother Jake. Your own flesh and blood and you can't be in love with her! That's not right!" Sara's eyes began to fill with tears.
Jake stood up and tried to put his arms around his mother but she just pulled away. "Mom I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"You can't go after that woman Jake! You'll regret it later in life!"
"I will never regret it," Jake replied boldly.
Sara looked at him with watery eyes. "This is breaking my heart Jake. I mean how can I let you go be with that woman without any say? Don't I get any say?"
Jake touched his mother's shoulder gently. "Yes you do. You are what I consider to be my "real" mother. You raised me and cared for me. I love you with all of my heart mom, but I have to live my own life too. If it's a bad choice then I will be the one who lives with it not you. Please try and understand."
"Understand? How can I understand this? Jake this is impossible to understand! You have to stay away from that woman."
"That woman has a name mom. Please Lucinda and I love each other."
Sara flopped back down on the couch and sobbed hard. "I thought your father and I taught you good morals. Where did we mess up?"
"You didn't mess up mom. You two were the best. This is something that just happened and I'm sorry."
She looked up at him wiping her tears and he handed her a tissue. "So what now? Don't tell me you plan on moving to Nevada as soon as you finish school to be with….Lucinda."
Jake nodded. "Yes I do. We made a plan that as soon as I finish school, I will move to Nevada to be with her, as her…lover."
Sara gasped. "Oh my goodness! Jake no! Please you are talking crazy!"
"Mom, don't make this any harder than it already is. Let me do this."
"No I won't! I am still your mother and you cannot go off with Lucinda! If you do…then don't even bother coming back here."
Jake felt tears forming in his eyes. "Are you serious?"
Sara didn't mean that but there was no other way to let her son know he was doing wrong. "Yes."
"Mom please I don't want to lose you."
"Then don't go with her. You have that choice."
Jake was trapped. He either went with his love or kept peace with his mother. After all Sara was the only family he had left. She was alone now and Jake had promised his father that he'd take care of her. He couldn't break that promise to his father.
"Fine. I will not go," Jake said slowly.
Sara's face lit up. "You will stay?"
Jake looked away. "Yes."
"Oh Jake honey that is the best decision for you! You made the right choice sweetheart!" Sara said cheerfully putting her arms around her son.
Jake held his mother and cried. He cried because of his decision. He cried because he knew that he wanted more than anything to be with Lucinda. He cried because he knew he'd never find true love like that again.
One year later
Jake had attended summer school and had finished school earlier than he thought. He had worked hard but then realized all his hard work was for nothing. He had wanted to finish early to go surprise Lucinda and to be with her. Now that was all gone.
He decided to stay in Dallas and got a job as a writer with the local newspaper. He lived in his own place but it wasn't too far from Sara's home. He often checked up on his mother and made sure she was OK. He'd stay over at times as well.
Sara was glad her son hadn't made the rash decision to be with Lucinda. It was wrong. It was incest and so very wrong! Jake had to see that and eventually he would in the future. He couldn't possible have children with her or marry her. How could he have expected to live a "normal" life with her? This was all for his own good.
The one thing Sara noticed the most was that Jake still hadn't dated. He would never talk about girls he was dating or girls he thought were pretty. Sara tried to bring up the conversation a few times but nothing. He would change the subject and talk about work or something else. He looked sad. He didn't have that youthful happy glow to his blue eyes anymore.
Could he possibly still be in love with Lucinda?
One night as Jake had just finished having dinner with Sara, she figured she'd bring up the love subject again.
"So are there any pretty ladies you like at your job?" She asked casually as she put the dishes in the dishwasher.
Jake eyed his mother suspiciously. "No. Why?"
"Oh I don't know. I figure you're a very handsome young man most girls would be happy to go out with you. Have you even bothered to ask any of them out?"
"I'm still in love with Lucinda," Jake replied quickly.
Sara stood frozen. "W-what?"
"That's where you're trying to get at right mom? To see if I still love Lucinda or not?"
"N-no it's just that I was wondering-"
"Well I still love her. I think about her everyday. Is that what you want to hear?"
Sara began to cry. "No honey I-"
"Mom I have to go home now. I've got work tomorrow."
Jake grabbed his car keys and walked out fast. Sara ran behind him. "Jake please don't go like this."
Jake turned and put his hands on his mother's shoulders. "I have to go. Goodnight." He leaned down and kissed her cheek.
* * *
Sara watched her son leave and she burst into tears. She cried feeling she was losing him little by little even though he was there for her. Sara closed the door and locked it. She headed to her room and lay in her bed sobbing. Suddenly memories came back to her. Memories she had tried to push away forever.
She recalled his strong hands touching her face and his lips kissing hers. She remembered making love for the first time in her life. She knew it was wrong but she still did it because she was in love. She remembered her father.
His dark green eyes looked into hers as he whispered, "I love you my princess." She cried out of joy and fear at the same time knowing it was wrong but she loved him with all of her heart.
Her mother had passed away when Sara was only nine. She then became the lady of the house. It was only her and her daddy that lived together. When she was 15 she slowly came to realize how much she was in love with him. He was strong, loving and so caring. She fell hard for him and he for her. They had a wonderful affair for years until he had passed away. She then went to live with her grandparents until she left for college and met Tom. Although she did love Tom with all of her heart, her father would always be her true love. She never once mentioned her incestuous affair with her father to anyone. It was her own secret.
So why didn't she understand Jake's point of view? He was in love with his biological mother. Maybe they shared a deep true love like she did with her father. She had to let go and let Jake live his life and not lose his true love. He deserved to be happy.
One Year Later
"So you're all packed and ready to go?" Sara said happily as she stood by Jake's truck ready to say her goodbyes.
Jake sighed and couldn't help smiling. "Yes I am. Thank you mom. Thank you for understanding and being there for me."
"I love you sweetheart. Go be happy," She reached up to kiss his cheek.
"I love you mom. I will call you after I get there."
"No need to call me right away. I'm sure you'll be too occupied," Sara said playfully.
Jake laughed and hugged his mother goodbye. His truck was packed with a few of his belongings. He'd managed to save up some money and was able to transfer to work in Vegas. He had his whole life ahead of him.
* * *
Jake arrived to Vegas two days later. He drove and still remembered where the restaurant was that he and Lucinda had shared their first kiss. It was the same date as four years ago when he and Lucinda had promised each other to meet once again. He loved her and never forgot her and only hoped she remembered him.
It was five minutes until seven that evening. He stood outside the restaurant watching the tourists pass by. The streets were crowded and noisy but all he could do was tune everyone out and think about Lucinda.
Now it was seven o'clock and no sign of Lucinda. Jake felt alone and almost let down. Had she forgotten about him? What if she met a man and married him? What if she wasn't in love with him anymore? All the terrifying thoughts ran through Jake's mind when he saw there was no sign of Lucinda.
He stood there for a minute more hoping that maybe she would show up. A small family of four caught his attention for some reason. It was the father, mother, and two children. Jake smiled at the children and they waved at him as they past him by. Just then he looked up and saw her. It was Lucinda.
to be continued...
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