The two people that want to go into having a third or more join into lovemaking need be open and honest in conversation. A good start would be to know, understand and establish the heart in polyamoric principles. (
http://www.polyamory.org/) Read the FAQ's and check out the test. Could be fun! I don't figure that that means be polyamorous for life. Simply put, adopt and embrace a guideline to be effective in one's experiment. The standard to measure may be an already widely accepted level of reasonable polyamory behavior.
After the initiation of multiple sex partners, if one of us feels stifled or uncomfortable then we ought to talk it through and make adjustments. It could be that one or both of us like it enough to make it a lifelong possibility. Could be that our experiment might accidentally include a stinker the first time. Therefore, more care in finding a more suitable addition is needed for our next attempt. Could be that it's great some where else - what happens in sextown stays in sextown - but can't or won't work at home.
Here's an idea I have for carrying through a meaningful conversation to reach complete resolve for engaging others in our existing pairing in our love together.
What
=3some or moresome; We want to include more people or another person M and/or F in our sex life and/or everyday life:
Who
=MMF or FFM(MMMF, MMFF, FFFM);
Where
=Our home or theirs, rental, outdoor, club membership;
When
=start and stop time - one time or multiple times by agreement in advance; One night, a weekend, a week long, a vacation foray, long term intermittent, long term committed, etc.
How
=sober, impaired (legal and/or illegal), with or w/out toys,
Why
=You provide this questions and answers (e.g. Do we want our sex to be your extension or my extension of experimenting, or both? Do we want/need more outside influence in our sex/sensuality play?)
Safe Words OR Escape Words.
=Commitment to respect other
Afterward
=Continuance of conversation after safe word including review of feelings and ideas for next time.
There are millions of variables and inconsistencies to be open to.
Fun isn't guaranteed. Neither is misery.