Now that I have your total attention........

Today I finally took the plunge and got the old colonoscopy. I have to admit all my fears and trepidation for this procedure were totally unfounded.

The hardest (and most unpleasant part) of the procedure was the cleansing for the 18 hours leading up to the actual appointment. Whoever the hell concoted the cleansing solution you have to take (not once but twice) starting the night before needs to be stood against the wall and shot! That stuff tastes just like the conents of the colon it is intended to cleanse!!!!!

I've never had an upset stomach that lasted as long as the past 18 plus hours have been. The queasy feeling still lingers but that should go away once I can finally eat a decent meal.

The actual procedure went like a champ. As I was in the prep room the sound coming from the procedure room right next to me really got the blood pressure and anxiety level up. Some poor lady was lying there yelling at the top of her lungs about the pain. Needless to say the nurse moved me to a different location!

Once the IV was in and I was lying there, I went to my happy place and before I knew it - I was in the recovery room and they were telling me to fart! What a glorius feeling for a man being told by a woman to fart - that she wanted me to fart - and that it was socially acceptable to fart! In fact - they wouldn't let me leave until I did let go with a few good rips! After what I've been through since last night though - I was rather timid that I would suffer the squirts! The fart game was a dream come true for a guy I would suspect.

Anyhow - the end result was one small pollup located and removed and it is on it's way to the lab. The doc was super friendly - I guess you would have to be if all you did all day was stare at total stranger's butts - and most of them would never qualify to meet our standards here in Pixies I am sure!!!!

Bottom line to all is this - get the freakin checkup guys and gals. The worst part is the total loss of bowel control for about 18 hours but once you get past that - the procedure was totally painfree and I never even knew I was there. I should have done this 4-5 years ago for my total peace of mind.

My advice to all my Pixie family is do the right thing and get yourself ass invaded for medical reasons. You'll always have time for the other invasions for pleasure reasons!!!!!!!!!

I'm thankful I finally did it - and so is my family!!!!!!!

Ron