"Just do it!" A couple of ideas:

Schedule a sex nite once a week (or more). It doesn't have to be highly structured - it's just a commitment to spend time enjoying and exploring each other. (You can take turns planning the evening.)

Try a couple of video's... watch together, pay attention to and discuss what "gets you going."

I agree that you shouldn't worry about mutual orgasms. Just indulge yourselves. They'll cum. (Pun intended.)

One caveat: don't lose spontaniety. Planning and "working" at good sex can be fun, but sometimes you just do it.

Wally

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Enjoy the journey, not just the destination!