Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post - Sex with a Married Person

Believe me, I totally sympathize with those of you who have been cheated on for no reason whatsoever. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior and had my husband cheated on me I would have a hard time forgiving him. I have never, in all our years of marriage, refused him anything. And were the situation reversed right now and I was physically unable to perform my "wifely duties", I would stand on my head to find an alternative and do what I could to show him I love him, and subsequently satisfy him. First of all simply because I love him that much. Secondly because I wouldn't want to risk pushing him into the arms of someone willing to provide what I could not and would not. But for whatever reason he doesn't seem to think along the same lines.

Typically, men with erectile dysfunction and lack of libido, close themselves off from their women. They are afraid that if they make any sexual move whatsoever the woman will want more than they are capable of giving. So to protect themselves from feeling like a failure they give nothing at all. He tried viagra because of my repeated begging and it didn't perform an instant 'miracle' so he simply gave up and pulled even farther away. One morning after being rejected yet again I began to cry. He came around to my side of the bed, and, genuinely puzzled, he asked me "Is it really that important to you?" I tried to get through to him that it wasn't the sex alone that was important, but what hurt was that I felt him pulling away from me even further. He has reconciled himself to having no sex drive and doesn't understand why I can't do the same.

In all other areas of our life together we get along great. He is my best friend. We have rarely argued in our nearly 32 yrs of marriage. He has been there for me and with me through some very hard times, as I have been for him. We've raised 3 sons together. But I need more than a buddy and a roommate, and he refuses to understand that. I can't tell you how many nights I've cried myself to sleep because he can't bring himself to touch me. And I mean touch in it's simplest form, not sexual intercourse. There is no cuddling, no caressing, no stroking. And he won't let me touch him either. We may as well be strangers when we turn out the light and get under the covers. Oh he does tell me he loves me and kisses me goodnight, but that's as far as it ever goes.

It's a proven scientific fact that babies will not thrive without skin on skin contact from another human being. Do we need that any less because we are adults? I'm sorry if you can't understand.

It does hurt to be judged harshly when I know I have done everything in my power to not have to look elswhere. I won't leave him because whether anyone wants to believe it or not I DO LOVE HIM! If a miracle happened tomorrow and he was once again willing and able I would be the happiest woman in the world and my outside activities would come to an immediate end without a second thought.

I can't try to explain myself or justify my actions any more. It's too emotionally draining. I know in my heart that I don't take my actions lightly and would much prefer to be with my husband than any other man.