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10 WAYS TO KNOW
YOU'VE HAD WILD SEX

1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge.

2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies.


3. An earthquake of 5.4 on the Richter Scale is recorded in your area.


4. The cat's exhausted from just watching you.


5. A trampoline company has to come to adjust your bedsprings.


6. You've both gone down one clothing size.


7. You cancel your chiropractic appointment. There's nothing left to adjust.


8. You have to breathe into a brown paper bag.


9. Boy, are you hungry!


10. You're absolutely satisfied yet uncontrollably horny at the same time.

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."