Oh, wow....where to begin? I've had so many ideas for so many years.... So in no particular order:

1. Regulate Jack Nicholson impressions. Jack is exempt, and therefore allowed to do as many impressions of himself as he wants. Christian Slater gets a special permit. Everyone else must be licensed.
2. Along similar lines, maybe have a task force dedicated to comedy. I'm not concerned about how clean or PC the content is--that's not the point at all. But if you have *anything* to say on stage about differences between men and woman, dogs and cats, white and black people, LA and NY...it better be DAMN funny or you will be fined.
3. Cut back on warning labels. Sure, we have to protect the children, but adults should watch out for themselves. If you think it's a good idea to use your hair dryer in the shower, go for it.
4. Have Bob Saget visit the palace once a week to be slapped by whoever wants a go.
5. Issue a decree to all media to henceforth refer to Marilyn Manson by his birth name of Brian Warner.
6. Make all telemarketing a crime, punishable by going to a special telemarketer's prison. Each cell has an self-answering speaker phone that can only be hung up by the caller. The prisoners would call each other in shifts, 24 hours a day.
7. Make spamming a crime, punishable by electric shock to the genitals.
8. Revel in my abuse of power with lots of other arbitrary, whimsical laws.

__________________
"I choose this path to follow to be in like Flynn"
--the Indulgers, "In Like Flynn"

"It felt like Flynn."
--Master Control Program, Tron

"Know what I mean, know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Say no more."
--Eric Idle, "How to recognise different types of trees from quite a long way away", Monty Python's Flying Circus