I think my favorite was the winner in the Crime & Detective category:
The tall, slender seductress had Tom Pauley wrapped around her little finger, and she had James McGee hanging from a necklace, but the police were still waiting for the lab results to determine whose body parts she had used to make her earrings and that stunning tennis bracelet.

Julian Calvin, Atlanta, GA

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.