Today is the 100th anniversary of "The Emperor's New Clothes".

or


I woke up late and drove so fast, the rest blew right off. (I ride a motorcycle) So they would be leather and not lacy.

or


WHEW, Can you call maintenance to look at that paper shredder?

or

We're out of coffee.

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Kinda like my old blue tick hound I like to lay around in the shade. I ain't got no money, but I damn sure got it made.