Q. Why did God create woman?
A. To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
Q. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
A. Phone her.
Q. Why do women fake orgasms?
A. Because they think men care.
Q. What is the definition of "making love"?
A. Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.
Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak
Q. How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
Q. What's the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B.S.E?
A. One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural problem.
Q. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
A. Nothing, she's been told twice already.
Q. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag
at you, what have you done wrong?
A. Made her chain too long
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry her!
Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.
Q. How is a woman like a condom?
A. Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q. How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A. They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in
the end you lose your house.
Q. Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A. She knows she's given her last blow job.
