Subject: Fw: Being a Grandparent


1. A grandmother was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under
the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times
before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little
one said, 'But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!'
I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about
kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.'
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?'

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash
her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious,
her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and
stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.
As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling
voice, 'Who was THAT?'

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what
her own childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond
I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front
yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.' The
little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, 'I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do
you know how you and God are alike?' I mentally polished my
halo and I said, 'No, how are we alike?'' You're both old,' he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing
a story. 'What's it about?' he asked. 'I don't know,' she replied.
'I can't read.

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet,
so I decided to test her. I would point out something and
ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It
was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door,
saying, 'Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these
yourself!'

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we
kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky
insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I
did, Billy whispered, 'It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are
coming after us with flashlights.'

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly
replied, 'I'm not sure.' 'Look in your underwear,Grandpa,' he
advised. 'Mine says I'm four to six.'

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her
grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.'

The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
'That's interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?
''It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'i' and add
'es'.'

11. Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public
servant,' said a teacher. The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down
the ladder pregnant.' The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked. 'Sure,' said the young
boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'

12. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full
of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the
front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
discussing the dog's duties.' They use him to keep crowds back,' said
one child. 'No,' said another. 'He's just for good luck.' A third child
brought the argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,' she said firmly,
'to find the fire hydrants.'

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