Dear gekkgecko,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but the Mafia wants you. I think I realized it when I threw up outside of Chicago and I saw you ignore Donald Duck. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand how awful I've felt. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your oil stocks as a memory. You should also know that I never liked the incarnation as an eskimo.

Greetings to your frog Leonard,
Dicksbro