Dear PantyFanatic,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but You're a pervert. I think I realized it When your dwarf bit me In your camping car, and I saw you Pour syrup on Manchester United's goalkeeper. I'm sure you're Masochistic enough to understand That I'm allergic to your hamster. I'm returning Your Darth Vader-poster to you, but I'll keep Your neighbor Martin as a memory. You should also know that I Get sick when I think of A passionate interest for mice.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
GreenChef