My marriage had deteriorated to the point of zero sex, zero intimacy, not even "hallway sex" (you know, passing each other in the hallway and saying 'fuck you'). After being married more than 20 years, after almost 5 years with no sex or intimacy, I began to cheat. Several years and several affairs later, I finally left the marriage. Why did I take so long? A combination of things, but mostly I don't think former-hubby cared about what I was doing, it was easier to stay than to leave, and I hadn't yet met anyone who inspired me to want to deal with divorce and the resulting fallout.

I'm not proud of myself for having done the things I did, but I do have a very different perspective as a result. I now have zero tolerance for cheating (within my own relationship), and, having formerly been a world-class liar, I won't buy any excuses or bullshit stories, as I've probably used them myself. Burn me once and we're done. Period.

Maybe I'm a hardass about it because I've been there and did it sooo well. Nope, I'm not proud of the things I used to do, but I have come clean with family and God and I'm not going to that place ever again. If my relationship ends up sexless as well as intimacy-less, and I can't live with it, I'll end the relationship before starting something new. I would owe that to him as well as to myself.

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Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN


It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
~Tom Stoppard~


It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
~George Burns~


As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem.
~A. DiFranco~