Guys - thank you so much for your support. I appreciate it so much.

WildIrish ((hugs for you)), in answer to your questions, he'd planned to move closer to me before he knew anything about the job - he is feeling quite lonely where he is at the moment, and has no family or friends where he lives. With regard to the stress thing - he actually handles stress better if I'm around. He does still get stressed, but finds that if we can cuddle up or just chat and be physically together, he is less troubled. When he is on his own in his flat, his stress is much worse...

Loulabelle - thank you for your kindness. I think in all honesty the doubts I'm having have only really arisen since this recent situation with his job troubles occured. Before that there was no issue, and the thought of us planning a new life together was exactly what I wanted and what I dreamed of. Just this last few weeks/months have been so hard for us, and also the feeling that I need support for the probs I have and I'm not getting any back

I think the plan was for him to move down here and us spend weekends living together to see how it went before a big move in -even though he's moving back to the NW we'll still be 40 miles apart. He wants me to help him find somewhere for him to rent, and then once he's in there we find somewhere to live.

Thanks for all your time and for reading this...

a very confused cavey