Passed out and sleeping, I am unaware of the goings-on at the party. My dreams move from baseball to sex to cars to food to football. I think I drank too much, but then again, who hasn't at this wing-ding.

Suddenly, a loud crash comes from the house. It startles me. A woman's voice shreiks, "Oh my god!"

I wake up, my head hurting from the sudden jostle from sleep. I try to remove myself gracefully from the cot. Much to my dismay, I am unsuccessful and the hammock flips over and I land on my face again.

I get up, brush the dirt off of me and begin walking inside. My shiek costume is now muddy and covered in leaves. Not the look I was hoping for but what the hell. I stagger into the house and notice a crowd has gathered in the dining room. The music has suddenly stopped. I look and see the chandelier laying smashed in the middle of the dining room table. Lying on the ground next to the table I see Spiderman. A crowd has formed a circle around him and a woman dressed as a nurse is holding his head. She exclaims, "I am not a nurse, but I am playing one tonight."

Apparently, STO, in his drunken haze, thought he ACTUALLY IS Spiderman. He decided to jump onto a chair and begin singing the Spiderman theme. Right during the line, "friendly neighborhood Spiderman," he jumped onto the dining room table and grabbed onto the chandelier. He began swinging from it. The light fixture, not exactly made to hold the weight of a drunken party-goer in spandex Spiderman outfit, pulled out of the ceiling and crashed.

As Spidey regains coherence, I notice behind me ...

__________________
CK

"Women, you can't live with them ... pass the beer nuts." - Norm Peterson (George Wednt) on Cheers

"Sometimes you just have to say, what the fuck." - Tom Cruise in Risky Business

"It tastes so good. Once it hits your lips." - Frank the Tank in Old School