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Christmas Day with the Piffles
Christmas Day is here again and outside the snow lay thickly upon the ground. Like any house in the land, the residents of 1023, Spitfire Drive are busy preparing themselves for the onslaught that is the visit of family relatives.
Well, one of them is at least... |
George Piffle
"George! GEORGE! Are you down there?"
Hearing his wife's voice from upstairs causes George to almost fall off his chair. He had been watching an episode of The Brady Bunch to help steel himself for the rest of the day. He is not looking forward to this Christmas, not at all. Actually, he never likes Christmas but this year he definitely doesn't. Last night, after a long day of going around the shops with his youngest daughter (he still got blisters on his feet to prove it), Gracie had told him that his sister and her brother (he has never gotten over the fact they got married) are coming over to grace them with their presence. He shudders as he remembers the last time. "GEORGE!!?? You are not down in the cellar again??? I thought you were going to fix the lights before anyone comes?" "Coming!" He shouts as he gets up and switches the old telly off. He will have to see what Mike Brady does to deal with his current predicament some other time... |
Gracie
Chuckling to herself, Gracie hurried back into the living room and made a few finishing touches to the wrapping on her gift for George. She'd gotten the idea from a book she'd just finished reading: How to Entice and Drive Your Man Wild with Desire and Lust in Sex Easy Lessons by the world-renowned Scandinavian sex therapist, Godha Havamann. She'd added her own distinctly Gracie Piffle touch to the original, of course. After all, when it came to sex, loving and her George, Gracie Piffle knew how to please. Now, if only to get his attention.
Listening intently for the sound of her husband's approaching footsteps, she also listened to make sure no one else was up and about yet. This was something she wanted to do for George all by herself. Without an audience. Those days were long over at any rate. "Gracie? Where are you?" "In the living room, George. Hurry up, will you?" All a-twitter with excitement, Gracie waited for her husband to join her. And suddenly there he was. Big as life. (Okay... just life -- forget the big part.) Gracie held her breath as her lover man peered suspiciously into the drapery darkened room. "Gracie? You there? I can't see a thing in here." "Just flip the switch, George, dammit." Gracie sounded a little out of sorts, but she had been standing here a whole minute at least and was getting impatient. George blinked and shielded his eyes as the entire living room was illuminated by a near-blinding display of brightly colored chasing lights. "Heyyyy... I thought you needed help with the... lights?" "Merry Christmas!!" What George had assumed at first glance to be the tree lighting up was actually -- Gracie. She'd woven strands of blinking lights all over her body and stood gloriously naked before her husband, whispering seductively "Merry Christmas, Big Boy. It's all for you, hot stuff. Come unwrap me." |
Gwen
"Hello?!" Gwen Richards opens the front door to the Piffles home. "Aunt Gracie, Uncle George? It's Gwen." "Oh well, guess they're around somewhere." Throwing bags on the floor, "guess this is what happens when your plane is early for once." One more uneventful yeah at the Piffles, at least Grandma Gertrude is going to be here. Maybe she'll make Uncle George squirm like she did last year. That was fun! "Huh, wonder where everyone is, I couldn't be that early.".... |
George
He has to do a double-take before he realises what his wife has done.
"For God's sake, Gracie. Stop skylarking around. You could accidentally electrocute yourself." He switches off the lights again, ignoring his stunned looking wife. "And you shouldn't go around undressed like that. Remember what happened when Dan, our nephew, caught you that time? And then there was that kid from next door the time before." Going into the hall and almost collides into his gob-smacked niece, Gwen, as she stands there, gawking at her naked aunt... |
Dan Piffle
The Yellow Taxi skidded to a halt outside the large stately home of The Piffles, the driver turning in his seat, cigar smoke billowing from the ash tray and clouding the air slightly.
"That's 17 bucks kid..." He grins maleovently and holds out a grimy hand "You're joking right?" Dan laughed dryly "Im not much of a comedian kid..." The Cab driver gave him a blank look Dan pulled out his wallet reluctantly and threw a 20 into the drivers lap as he slammed the door shut. "Keep the change asshole..." Dan sneered picking up his bag and turned to walk away "Dont worry Kid, I plan to..." The Driver laughs and pulls away, the large puddle splashing up Dans legs as the Taxi exits. "Agh....you bastard..." Dan snaps angrily staring down at his soaked baggy pants. He turns back to the house of his Aunt and Uncle and starts walking up the driveway towards the door, he notices it is already open and readies himself for the traditional family greeting. Damn he hates being the baby boy of the family...one more relative ruffling his hair and he swears he will snap.... Swinging his bag over his shoulder and walking the few stairs to the door, he takes a deep breath and makes the plunge. "Merry Christmas..." He says in his merriest voice and drops his bag in suprise. His Aunt Gracie is standing completely naked in the lving room, well almost completely naked, she is entwined in christmas lights which are flashing the entire legnth of her body. Dans mind wanders as he turns away in embarassment, he remembers the last time he saw his Aunt like that, it was before he left for England to study Medicene at Oxford University. It had been Christmas then too, he had wandered off to bed at well past midnight. Crawling into bed, stripping down and laying staring at the ceiling as he tried to sleep. He had rose up to go to the bathroom and had walked straight into his Aunt Gracie, she was walking down the hallway, she was completely naked and their bodies pressed together as they collided. Dan had ran back into his room apologising profusely, but when he lay in the guest room, he brought himself to a long and blissful orgasm imagaining his Aunt Gracie in his arms.... The World snaps back to Dan and he turns to look at the woman next to him, its his Step-Sister Gwen. Their parents married eachother after both of them were born. "Gwen...?" He tries to take his mind off of the sight of his naked aunt and concentrates hard on not getting hard.... |
Grandma Gertrude
Having spent the better part of a 3 hour flight complaining to the business man seated to her left, about the punk kid to her right, Grandma Gertrude makes it to the baggage claim. She looks around for that no-good son-in-law of hers only to discover he is not there to pick her up. She mumbles something to herself about how he'd forget his head if it were not shoved up his ass and drags her luggage out to the curb. She lights a cigarette taking a nice deep drag and *cough*cough*coughs* before hailing a cab. |
Gracie
Gracie sighed as she wiggled to untangle herself from the lights. She was a little disappointed at George's reaction -- or lack of -- but no matter. She had more ideas than Carters had little pills.
What to do? What to do? Gracie paused for a moment to give it a good think. Hmm... there had been that article Tantric Anal for Beginners by Ben Dover. Yes! That would do the trick for sure! Now where had she put it? Waggling her fingers at Gwen and Dan, she blew air kisses and headed upstairs to put something on and to formulate her next plan. It was chilly with the door open, after all. |
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“Uh.......um.............Hi everyone” Standing there gaping at her naked aunt. “Hi Aunt Gracie, Uncle George”
“I’m not quite sure what to say.” Grandma should be here to see this, thinking to herself, she’d have a lot to say. “Gwen...?” She hears beside her. “Dan, I didn’t hear you come in!” They both stand there staring at their naked aunt wrapped in Christmas lights. Gwen thinks to herself, wow, she’s not that bad. As she wags her finger and heads upstairs Gwen watching her go. “Wait, where’s Grandma? Wasn’t someone supposed to pick her up? ” |
George Piffle
Even as he staggers to avoid his niece, there is a sudden eclipse. Wondering what is blocking the light, he finds himself staring at a man-mountain that he quickly recognises as his nephew, Daniel.
He's bigger than ever! Of course, the boy isn't taking notice of him. Not while there is his aunt to ogle, who is currently wiggling her full hips in their direction as she finally heads upstairs to presumably, (hopefully?) dress. At least Gracie will be glad that Dan is here. He thinks to himself, remembering that other Christmas and how happy Gracie was. Then his face drops as he remembers how frisky she was too. “Wait, where’s Grandma? Wasn’t someone supposed to pick her up?” His niece is saying. "Ma!!!" His eyes open in horror. "I've forgotten to pick her up from the airport!!!! I am doomed! DOOMED!!!!" Leaving his niece and nephew, George grabs his coat and keys and dashes outside; only to find that the pathway has iced up. The occupants inside the house hear a terrible shriek, followed by an almost crash a few moments later... |
Coming to a screeching halt at the curb, the cab pulls up to 1023 Spitfire Drive just in time for Grandma Gertrude to witness George's ass smacking slip on the ice. Chuckling to her self as she slips the driver just enough to cover the fare with barely a buck left over, and grumbles for him to keep the change.
"You gonna just lie there or are you gonna help an old lady with her bag?", she hollers to George who is still sprawled out. "Where's my little girl?", she calls "Gracie! Gracie Mae come greet your mother properly" as she reaches the front stoop, motioning for George to get her bags from the cab's trunk. Gracie appears before her mother flustered, smoothing her clothes and smiles. " Hello mother" she says placing a kiss on Gertrude's cheek. "Honey ya look flushed, George is not working you too hard around here is he?" she said in a sarcastic tone, knowing full well he was not 'working' much at all lately. |
Dan Piffle
“Wait, where’s Grandma? Wasn’t someone supposed to pick her up?” Dan vaguely hears Gwen ask
"Ma!!!" He dreamily hears his Uncle reply "I've forgotten to pick her up from the airport!!!! I am doomed! DOOMED!!!!" Dans eyes are primarily focused ont the retreating behind of his aunt as she wiggles her way up the stairs, still trailing lights and their extension chord. His Uncle runs past him, still not unphasing him from his fantasy thoughts and its only when he hears the shout and crash does he snaps back and turn into the driveway. He turns to Gwen and flinches a little, laughing silently "Ouch" He smiles to her There was a screeching halt as a second taxi pulls into Spitfire Drive, Dan looks on dismay as Grandma pulls herself from the Cab, smoke folllowing her like a oet dog. She shuffles over to his Uncle, sprawled out in pain across the driveway and Dan can almost hear him squirm as she tests him. She drops her bags on top of him and slowly walks toward the doorway, Dan and Gwen move out of the way as Aunt Gracie appears to embrace her mother. "Where's my little girl?", she calls "Gracie! Gracie Mae come greet your mother properly" as she reaches the front step, motioning for George to get up and bring her bags in. Gracie appears before her mother flustered, smoothing her clothes and smiles. " Hello mother" she says placing a kiss on Gertrude's cheek. "Honey ya look flushed, George is not working you too hard around here is he?" she says in a sarcastic tone, as Dan wonders what shes on about. He looks over at Gwen, he hasnt seen her in almost 2 and a half years and he doesnt take lopng to notice how much his 'big sis' has grown. |
Gwen
Dan turns to Gwen and flinches a little. Laughing “Ouch.” He smiles to her. “Hey, It’s Grandma!” She says to Dan. There was a screeching halt as a taxi pulls into Spitfire Drive, Gwen looks on in awe as Grandma pulls herself from the Cab. Shuffling herself over to Uncle, sprawled out in pain across the driveway, and throwing her bags on him. Gwen smiles to herself waiting for Grandma to say something. “ You gonna just lie there or are you gonna help an old lady with her bag?", she hollers to Uncle George who is still sprawled out. Moving out of the way just in time, she looks over at Dan. Hmm.. It’s been awhile, wow almost three years.. He looks good. “Hi Grandma! How are you?” As Gwen walks over to grandma. “You should have been here earlier, you missed some interesting stuff.” Gwen turns and winks at Dan. “Didn’t she Dan?” It has been too long since she’s seen the family. Dan really looks good. Maybe too good for her own sake. |
George
"Hey! Bub! Was that your muther? The old bat has got the fare wrong."
For long moments, he just lays there in the snow. Realising that no-one is going to come and investigate plus the cab-driver is getting more irate by the minute, he finally gets up (despite the pain) and pays the man. Once that is achieved, he bravely staggers back into the house and to the relative safety of the family couch. Within minutes, he is asleep... |
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