what should i do?
 

recently my fiance found religion and now thinks that we should no longer have sex until we are actually married.i guess all i can do is wait huh? i love her enough to wait but it will be hard.

Like you said, if you love her, you will wait until she's ready.

Just my opinion.

One of my best friends found God and apparently I am too much of a heathen to associate with now.

I would caution you that you take a serious look at the religion she has found. Is her involvement in it something that you can be supportive of? I have some friends who used to be fun wild swingers and suddenly she became Mormon. While her husband is happy she is happy it has changed their marriage drastically.

This is a real good point, hudguy. I suggest you do some studying to see if she's being lead away from the ugly sins of the flesh in a way that will destroy your future.

I wish I were joking.

I also know (don't ask) how apparently "normal" folk will find any number of excuses to explain their disinterest/dislike of sexuality -- it's always complex, but imo this situation calls for you to carefully examine what's going on and what it really means.

Marriage, as any divorced person will tell you, is a HUGE step and best taken when you know the outcome as well as is possible. Of course some things have to be taken on faith, but Faith can lead people in strange directions to hurt the very people they most love.

(I am by the way a religious person, or so I think.)

Good luck.
JW

Disclaimer: I strongly distrust most if not all organised religion, so my advice is strongly biased.

Run! Run like the wind!

At the very least sit her down and talk about what has changed in her expectations of marriage. Has it changed her attitudes about sex in marriage? Some religions have some pretty dratic ideas about sex, so it's in your best interest where hers fall now.

Shit yeah.

If she's changing the ground-rules now unilaterally, what else is on the agenda.

You may find that she is no longer the girl you fell for, and the love is rolling on inertia.

I'd just like to appologise for the horrible spelling and grammar in my post.

Note to self, never post with a throbbing headache it makes it hard to concentrate.

He was behind the sofa the whole time, wasn't he? :D


Ok, on to a more serious tone:

It makes no difference if either one of you have found or lost religion, and which one it is, was or will be. The important part of the whole equation is "are your views alike?" Love is great. But part of love is compatibility, and that requires similar mindframes and the ability to understand the other's ideals when those mindframes don't fully align.

You never said WHEN you were to be married. Are you engaged with the intention to set a date at a later time? Do you have a date already? Could this be her way of making you set an earlier date or just to set a date already?

Is her religion one in which the rules to live by will change her drastically? Some religions forbid lots of things that we normally take for granted such as, music, holidays, entertainment (movies/television), sexual activity...etc. Do you know her new found religion and understand it enough to live by it with her? Or...is she making rules through interpretation that may be to her benefit only?

Lotsa questions to ask yourself hun!

Welcum to Pixies hudguy! Will you post again to let us know how we're helping so far?

Hmm...I think a REALLY important thing to consider here is how this might affect any children you plan to have.....and remember, you may not have planned children, but a lot of religions are dead against contraception. ;)

Would you be happy for your children to grow up instilled with the new found set of values that your fiancee has discovered. It's one thing being able to live with someone with different values from your own, but when they start teaching your kids those things, and bringing them up in ways you disagree with, you're going to run across HUGE problems.

Hell, I'd have to think twice about marrying a vegetarian, since I wouldn't want my kids to be fed on a veggie diet, and that's a minor thing compared with religion!!!!

opps to "l"s
 

I agree, but Lilith is also right, take another look at her before marriage, religon changes everything.