Huge problem

[sweetness]

I cannot have an orgasm from sex. I've only ever had orgasms from being eaten out and from masturbation. When my boyfriend tries to rub me off, it doesn't feel lubricated enough and he tends to go too fast and hard. I need my clit stimulated and sex just does not cut it. I've told him many times what I like and hinted, but he does not seem to get it. Finally I started faking thinking it would get him to cum quickly and at least have one of us satisfied. Unfortunately, this situation blew up in my face because he kept getting a growing expectation that I could cum more and more often. Now I find myself faking orgasm after orgasm and maybe having a real one if I'm able to reach down and rub myself while we are having sex. I didn't have the heart to tell him that sex could not get me off. So I faked and did not have the heart to tell him that. He is very inexperienced and we are a great couple together. I just don't think I can go on faking multiple orgasms much longer.

Any suggestions? Comments?

[Lilith]

'What a tagled web we weave'......Your intentions were good and unfortuneately it has come around to bite you in the behind. This is one of those tricky situations because you do not want to make him feel lied to or deceived but you also don't want to continue faking it. There are several routes you can take
1. At some point, in a non sexual situation, tell him the truth. That you are not experiencing the Big O from penetration and could use some help in achieveing orgasm during your love making session. (BTW it is not unusual for us to need clittoral stimulation to reach the Big O)
2.Show him. Have a mutual masterbation night and tell him and show him exactly what works the best for you. Have him show you as well.
3.Get some lube.... If you are experiencing dryness you will have a lot less fun. You can find flavored oils etc. to make it fun for him too.
~Communication is vital if you are going to be able to deal with any issue in your relationship. Sex is just one of those issues. I hope all works out. Keep us posted!Good Luck!

[Oldfart]

Sweetness

Some girls never orgasm from straight vaginal sex.

If you are orgasmic from stimulation, work on that and enjoy

what you can.

The line "I'm getting used to it, you'll have to do something more"

may get you out of trouble.

[katekate42]

Sweetness, I've been in exactly your situation before and managed to get myself out of it a bit, though i do admit that i fake occasionally to stoke his ego. After all, he's a great lover overall and I know it would crush him to think he isn't able to take me there all the time.

What I did is to encourage experimenting with all new positions, doing mutual masturbation, and even bringing the ol trusty vibrator to bed. Now things have gotten to the point where we'll use the vibrator in certain positions- that's a guaranteed climax for me, and he thinks it's sexy too. One big thing though- let him be in control of the vibrator a bit to get used to the idea- I'm sure some guys might worry about their performance or feel inadequate when you bring it to bed for the first time.

Also, just talk to him and show him what feels best- maybe you guys just haven't hit the right position yet. I know sex feels much better to me after a bunch of foreplay and with a lot of lube.

Good luck hon, I'm sure things will work out.

[Irish]

sweetness---I know that it may be embarrassing to you but in the
long run it will be worth it.Show him how you masturbate yourself
and tell him to pay attention!Above all;Don't fake it!If he should
find out that you are faking;it will be a terrible blow to his ego.
Communication is very important in a long term relationship.
Knowing my own feelings;I can't imagine him not worrying about
your satisfaction. Irish
P.S.Sex is like business.A satisfied customer is;usually;a repeat
customer.