m45
10-26-2001, 10:38 AM
Hope I don't get into to much trouble with this one!....
Got it in the eMail today..
Take all American women who are within five years of
menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with
automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer
with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned
tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the
landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes
naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when
doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying
bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in
turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die
to protect them and their future. We'd like to get
away from our husbands, if they haven't left already.
And for those of us who are single, the prospect of
finding a good man with whom to share life is about as
likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing
to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the
carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and
saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can
easily survive months in the hostile terrain of
Afghanistan with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or
lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting
events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no
problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a
new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the
seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families
at Thanksgiving dinners for years... we understand
tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know
every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or
cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how
to find that money and we know how to seize it ...
with or without the government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine
their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes
over their godforsaken terrain.
Got it in the eMail today..
Take all American women who are within five years of
menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with
automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer
with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned
tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the
landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes
naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when
doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying
bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in
turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die
to protect them and their future. We'd like to get
away from our husbands, if they haven't left already.
And for those of us who are single, the prospect of
finding a good man with whom to share life is about as
likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing
to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the
carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and
saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can
easily survive months in the hostile terrain of
Afghanistan with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or
lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting
events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no
problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a
new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the
seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families
at Thanksgiving dinners for years... we understand
tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know
every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or
cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how
to find that money and we know how to seize it ...
with or without the government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine
their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes
over their godforsaken terrain.