BDSM Introductions - help please

[janetnben]

Hi all, i am sure there are some out there who can help.

My wife recently has told me she would like to explore BDSM more. She has always enjoyed a pleasure/pain type of thing when she is really turned on. we have and she loves, restraints, blindfolds and nipple clamps, we have also recently found she enjoys being spanked when really turned on. Apparently the pleasure pain thing combined with the not quite knowing when it is coming really gets her going.

Anyway this is the first real fantasy she has shared with me and i have tried to, at the right times, get more info from her. What it is she likes, what sort of things she wants to explore etc, as i am very keen to fulfill and expand this fantasy for her. I have never been too into it myself, but as i say, she has been open and brave to share this with me and i want to show i like that and it turns me on to open up our fantasy world some more.

I guess my question is does any one have more ideas of approaches to take?

Are there some good free sites (i seem to find only paying ones and only full on ones, and ones with mainly women being sub, she is most likely a switch as she likes a little of both ideals)

i would love to find some good intro literature, pics and movies that we could watch together and experience some more

thanks in advance

[LixyChick]

Don't know about any sites but it seems she's opening up in her own time. Patience is not a bad thing with something like this. Maybe she doesn't even know what it is she likes till you are in the moment. Play it by ear and take her lead.

[Miss-Honey-Bee]

I subscribed to sexandsubmission.com when we first started experimented in BDSM - which we both found very hot, and inspiring!

Have fun x

[janetnben]

thanks for the suggestions ladies

lixy
we are exploring and she is unsure of what she likes, she has asked to maybe see some porn or go somewhere we could see some more things, so she can then decide if she likes those ideas or not. which is why i thought i would ask everyone

miss honey
thanks for the suggestion, we will check it out

[Miss-Honey-Bee]

Also, in Aberdeen a club called Moshulu has a fetish night every few months. lots of toys on sale, and equipment for you to try. Perhaps you could do a search and find out if anything similar happens in your area?

When we started experimenting in BDSM, Lilith suggested searching for 'bdsm surveys' - both f you answer them, so you know what your limits are, what thing you'd like to try etc.

[janetnben]

another good one, i like the survey idea, thanks

[Casperr]

Miss-Honey-Bee is absolutely right, Sex and Submission is a great site. It's probably the most accurate commercial representation of the BDSM scene around.

You can get some free samples of all the Kink.com sites, including Sex and Submission, Hogtied and Whipped Ass at their Free Hardcore (http://www.free-hardcore.com/) site.

[Teddy Bear]

Great site Casper, Thank you!

Please be aware of safety issues. Read and learn all you can. Ask those with experience how to do something if you're not sure. Then use common sense and a 'safe-word'. Below are just a few sites that deal with safety.

BONDAGE SAFETY:
http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/library/articles_us/bkurs01.htm

http://www.thedomsview.com/v5i6/dungeon1.htm


GENERAL SAFETY:
http://www.bdsmcafe.com/resource/safety/safetyx.html

http://www.evilmonk.org/A/health00.cfm#gen


CHECKLIST:
http://www.bdsm-education.com/checklist.html

http://www.bdsmcafe.com/resource/cheklist/checkx.html

[Casperr]

I'd also recommend listening or getting her to listen to a few related podcasts. The one that comes to mind as a good intro to bdsm would be Kinkysexradio (http://www.kinkysexradio.com), which has great introductions, explanations and advice for just about every fetish under the sun - from extremes like figging, infantilism and amputeeism to the basic like being tied up and spanked.
Also the Sex Is Fun podcast at GreatSexGames.com (http://www.greatsexgames.com) is a fun but very informative podcat about various flavours of sex, with lots of different and interesting topics each week. Also got a cool forum to check out.

This is cool, we're building the One Stop Shop of bdsm advice in this thread! :D

[Pita]

Good advice and links! Especially pay close attention to the links on safety. You really don't want a fun night of torture to go wrong. ;)

If you are looking to speak to people who have a lot of experience with BDSM and all the varying areas of kink then I would recommend forums like Collar Me and Literotica BDSM forum. And for the best toys check out JT Stockroom. http://www.stockroom.com/home.aspx :nod:

[janetnben]

oh i like that site
i will have to find something similar in oz
still we could have some fun browsing and talking about the items on there

thanks everyone

[Teddy Bear]

Any update on how its going?? :)