Threesome Question for those w/ Experience

[katekate42]

My boyfriend of 3 years recently brought up to me that one of his main fantasies would be having a threesome. I'm not sure where I stand on the idea- it sounds awesome from a sexual standpoint, but I'd love to hear from some of you folks who have experienced a threesome with a S/O and what, if any, impacts it had on your relationship. We certainly have an open-minded and sturdy relationship, but I'd love advice before taking any chances with something so precious. Thanks!

[cowgirltease]

*volunteers to be the 3rd party*;) :D

never use the same person twice if you're worried about attachments.

[kitkate]

I was just talking to my friend (who also has been in a few threesomes with me) about this today.

Now, this is a PERSONAL OPINION, and I stick by it being my truth...but it doesn't have to be yours.

(this) Kate's Threesome Rules:

1) all parties must be willing to participate will all members of the threesome...not just one member. Its really hard to have a threesome when one person doesn't want to touch another. Trust me, I've tried it and it just ended up with one person REALLY satisfied, one person satisified and one not touched.

2) protection, protection, protection (duh! ;) )

3) Anyone is a loving, monogamous relationship should set out ground rules with their S/O before the threesome and discuss the fact that there should be NO jealousy. If you aren't comfortable enough with your b/f to trust watching him fuck another girl, don't do it.

4) If you don't want to do it, don't. If you back out, don't feel guilty. And don't make others feel guilty. Its much easier to "chicken out" or back out before it starts....

Those are the rules I live by. I, personally, won't have a threesome with anynone *in* a relationship...a threesome ruined a friendship and a marriage I know. But I know many "swingers" and people who have been successful. Communicate, explore and be safe. And make sure to let us know how it goes ;)

[PantyFanatic]

Welcome to a well trod path in PixieLand. ;) The question seems to be a regular one for us horny hominoids.:cool:

Here’s a couple of the many threads addressing this subject.

http://www.pixies-place.com:81/forums/showthread.php?threadid=3500&highlight=threesome

http://www.pixies-place.com:81/forums/showthread.php?threadid=6078&highlight=threesome

http://www.pixies-place.com:81/forums/showthread.php?threadid=12079&highlight=threesome

In the end, ......it seems to be more important where your head is than your crotch.:rolleyes: ;)

[gekkogecko]

What KitKate said, with one modification:
"Those are the rules I live by. I, personally, won't have a threesome with anynone *in* a relationship...a threesome ruined a friendship and a marriage I know."

The problem with this scenario is not simply involving someone in a prior relationship. The problem comes with that person violating the terms of his/her relationship with his/her SO. Meaning if you do choose to involve such a person, make certain that the SO of that person is also involved in the communication and decision-making process. Which is why:

"Communicate, explore and be safe."

Was so on the nose.

[CunningLinguist]

Oh I volunteer! Me me me!

Oh wait he means with two girls right?

Well I had one threesome with two girls, but one of them I would not fuck with someone else's dick and blame it on a third person, and the other girl was barely tolerable.

I had one experience where I gave a guy a BJ while I did his wife. I really enjoyed his wif, but not really all into my first and only bi experience.

I did do a couple swap about a year and a half ago. It was turning out great and I looked forward to a really hot steamy threesome or several in my future until it turned out that my now ex-fiancee did not want to even speak with the other couple anymore because they were not Christian, but she still wanted to use them for sex. The worst part is that she saw nothing wrong with it.

[kitkate]

See....I should have just phrased it "Don't violate your relationship!" Man...gekkogecko, you are smart! ;)

[LixyChick]

katekate......you did say a threesome....but you didn't say which gender. I'll just wait on this one cause each scenario is different (it's highly possible your boyfriend may want to see you with another man and even experience him himself)......and I get in trouble when I assume!

[katekate42]

He had in mind a threesome involving another woman. I certainly wouldn't mind having a threesome with another man, but I'm not sure how he would feel about that. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, but I wouldn't want to push him into something he would be uncomfortable with, so we'll probably see how it goes with another woman first (if we decide to go through with it at all). Thanks so much to everyone for the responses so far :) You're all the best!

[ericthered]

I'd say ------

1.) Talk it through first (preferably while cuddling in bed) so you both know what is expected/permitted

2.) Make triply sure you are both feeling into the idea on the night

3.) Third party is there as your sex toy, so once you've all had your fun he/she should leave (Come, Cum and Go) because you and your SO will have some serious glowing to do together. Don't be surprised if you spend the rest of the night getting off together and feeling VERY NAUGHTY.

If he's doing the suggesting at this stage, I would take the chance to yes to an MMF first, and a FFM next. Fair's fair, after all. If he goes for this, you can be sure that you are the first thing in his mind......

[Missy1965]

3.) Third party is there as your sex toy, so once you've all had your fun he/she should leave (Come, Cum and Go) because you and your SO will have some serious glowing to do together. Don't be surprised if you spend the rest of the night getting off together and feeling VERY NAUGHTY.

I have to agree with what was said above.... I am in the same situation with toying around with the idea of a FFM encounter. I agree with the above comment because it would reassure me that I am the priority along with my S/O in the situation and that we are doing this for ourselves. Maybe this sounds a little bit selfish on my part but for me the whole idea behind doing this is for me and him to enjoy the moment watching and seeing how each other are. That would be the turn on and basically the reason behind wanting a 3some to begin with. Having another F there would simply be another "toy" if you will and if we decide to do this that will be made very clear. this is a fantasy that he has had and I would really like to please him and I know that I would enjoy pleasing him very much but I do have certain limitations and there are definatly issues that would have to be worked out before for sure. I think if me and him are on the same page and my feelings are respected it could end up being an expierence. Now only to find someone who has no problem with how I want things to be. Has anyone ever used a professional service and I don't mean a hooker off the street? I think this way feelings aren't an issue.

[BadChicken]

For me, personally, threesomes ROCK!! As far as advice goes, here's my version:
1) Go right ahead as long as it's what YOU want. If you're only doing it to make your spouse/s. o. happy, then you may want to reconsider.
2) Don't be afraid to communicate!! I've found that open lines of communication not only help keep your primary relationship healthy and intact they also make the threesome experience much more rewarding.
3) Have all parties agree on a set of ground rules. Example: If a female joins you and your man, Is it ok with you if he kisses her? Are you comfortable with him ejaculating inside her? Basically, you should take time to think of every concievable aspect that might bother you and communicate your concerns/feelings to your s. o.
4) As far as it being a 3on3 vs. a 2on1, I must politely disagree with kitkate. My s. o. and I have had several threesomes with both male and female partners and there is no way on Gods green earth I would ever engage with another male. But, watching her engage both he and I at the same time really turns me on. I guess it appeals to my dominant side to see her in that situation.
5) Last but not least, if you have a threesome and it doesn't turn out like you'd envisioned, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!!! Skin is wash and wear and drip-dry. Accidents happen. Just realize that there is a monsterously huge difference between love and sex.

I wish you the very best of luck in your quest. Have fun!!

[HungHardCowboy]

I was the "third" in a threesome with two friends (one of whom I had previously slept with). I certainly recommend having the threesome with someone you both know and are comfortable with.

[SWFsouthfla]

make sure your relationship strong cuz it can ruin it really quick .. I thought mine was strong with boyfriend did it and haven't seen him for months. but then again he was anal anyways.. good luck :wine: