Friends with benefits...

[racevixen]

reveal feelings or not

[jennaflower]

depends on if you are willing to take the risk...

1) you lose what you have....

2) You gain what you think you want and are disappointed..

3) You win....

Only you know what is best...

[racevixen]

well theres basically two ends it can be; it can build to something or end when one of us is sick of the situation. i dont want it to end. i wouldnt be devasted it if stayed like it is, i do care a lot about him but i wonder alot if he is just going to get his fill and be done... so theres a tad more insight.

[Summer]

I enjoyed having friends with benefits when I was single. Made things easier in my mind. They didn't question what I was up to and with who and I didn't either.

[Steph]

A couple of years ago, I had two friends with benefits . . . one ended up with feelings for me and I had feelings for the other one but we all "worked through" those feelings. It was great for that time.

[krzykrn]

Honestly, it all depends on the people involved...for me, it is much more complicated then people put it out to be. On the surface, yes, it seems pretty simple, just two people who hang out and like to have sex together. But chances are as time goes on, something will develop...it may not be feelings of love, but something deeper than friendship will occur, especially if something clicks in one or the other.

Maybe you find out you really seem to get along, that you really have a good time with this person. You are able to talk to them and open up to them, and not be afraid of judgement, or rejection...the list goes on.

As for my own experience, I have had two friends with benefits, one of them is current. My first one ended because she was in love with me, now I didn't want to end the friendship, but I felt it was wrong to continue having sex with her as I felt our relationship was giving her a false hope. I had no feelings for her beyond friendship, and never would...having been in love with a person and not having them return it, I knew how horrible that was, so I wanted to spare her that pain and just keep it at a friendship level, no benefits. Well needless to say I never heard back from her again, and after a year of infrequent ICQs (which I initiated everytime), I finally told her we were through.

As for my current situation, I feel more comfortable with it, probablly because I know nothing could ever come from it. She and I are in two completely different places in our lives and they could never mesh. I can only hope we will remain friends once the benefits dissappear if I meet someone or she meets someone.

In the end it is up to you Racevixen, you have to make a decision and be prepared for the consequences of your actions. To me it sounds like he doesn't share your sentiments that you have for him, so you are on unsteady ground. I say steel your heart and say what it wants to say, or else you will just feel uneasy, and may even experience ugly feelings such as jealousy. Friends with benefits situations should never be taken lightly, as usually it never ends the way one expects it.